Yeah you're right, I do assume the worst before considering reaching out to someone or just asking if someone wants to hang out. I'd be curious to know why I assume people would be weirded out or put off if I ask them to hang out, I'm a pretty introspective person but I've never really thought about why that is. It'd probably help a lot in understanding what's going on with me.
I thought I'd also just report that being more accepting of having friends who aren't super close has been a real help for me. I think I've always valued really close connections which is obviously a good thing, but can be very painful when you feel like you don't have many. I think spreading out my focus and recognising that I do have some deep connections, and some mates I could just try to organise a night out with to have some mindless fun is way healthier in the short term rather than feeling constantly down about how I can't have a d'n'm with everyone I'm associated with.
I've also found from work that sometimes you just gotta scratch that social itch and speak to some people, even if it's not super deep. I've had a decent mood boost as a result, the only difficulty from that is when you can't organise something, or you know that people ur mates with are going out but you aren't and don't wanna intrude by asking to join (but then ur just sat there alone). Honestly I reckon it's a mix of accepting how ur feeling now, and learning to drop ur ego so u can actually take the steps to create your own social life rather than wait for it to fall into ur lap.
Anyway I'm rambling but I've loved the discussion so far ur a legend @pearl_heart 🙏. Hope ur doing well urself.
