Hey @Hermes-the-messenger ,
Battling feelings of loneliness can be really tough. I can understand the need to have people as friends in schools and classes. Often times when we don't have people around us we tended to feel isolated and lonely, which takes a negative toll on us.
Your experience reminded me of my own, so I can really empathize with you right now.
Being lonely was my biggest insecurity. And it feels worse when you see other people in groups of friends while you are standing alone. The image of Highschool portrayed by dramas and films about school being all about friends would always fuel my insecurity. It wasn't until I started uni when being alone wasn't making me feel lonely anymore. Rather, I had become comfortable with being on my own. And from this experience I learnt a lot of things about myself that helped me change my perception of things.
1.) Being alone is not a bad thing!
It's completely fine to be alone. In the real world outside school, you won't have friends 24/7 with you. Just like you said how your boyfriend was only able to spend a couple of minutes with you, there will be a lot of other times when you will be face similar situations where it becomes hard to spend time with people in your circle. Normalizing being alone starts to help reduce the negative thoughts around it.
2.) Making Friends can time
It seems that you are a type of person who really enjoys having people around. It is important to remember that sometimes it may take a really long time to make friends and that's completely fine as well. It's a whole process from knowing them to becoming comfortable with them. Small talk, similar interests or even talking about differences can be a good ice breaker. I just want you to remember that you are not alone. There are definitely other people in class who would want to make new friends but are too shy to take the 1st step.
3.) Being alone does not have to be lonely
If it's hard to have company face-to-face, you could always get company online. During my uni, it was so hard to meet up with my friends face-to-face. And it was even harder to make new friends as an International Student. I also didn't have a single friend in my classes and it had always affected my morale with going to classes. What helped me was keeping in touch with family and friends online every single day. It helped me overcome the feelings of loneliness when I alone in classes or in the library. That way I didn't feel left out.
I really hope that my post helps a a bit! Lastly, I'd like you remember that you've got ReachOut as your online buddy as well so feel free to chat around.
