Hi@Hermes-the-messenger
It sounds like you are carrying a lot of heavy emotions right now, and I just want to acknowledge how tough that must be. Thank you for sharing this with us. Loneliness can be really hard to deal with, and I think most of us have felt it at some point. It can feel especially isolating when it seems like everyone else is moving forward while you are stuck.
One thing to keep in mind is that you do have some people around you, like your boyfriend and that person in your class (even if you are not sure yet whether they are a friend or just an acquaintance). If you feel up to it, maybe try getting to know them better - sometimes friendships grow naturally when you spend more time together. It might also help to look into clubs at your school or even volunteering if that is something you are interested in. You never know where you might meet people you click with, and even casual interactions can help ease that feeling of loneliness over time.
I also encourage you to reach out to family members if you can - maybe your parents, grandparents, or someone else. Even a short conversation can sometimes bring a sense of comfort.
I am really sorry to hear that you are struggling with sleep as well. That can make everything feel even harder. Something that helps me is listening to white noise and making my environment as relaxing as possible. If my mind is racing, I try a little visualisation exercise - imagining a stream with leaves floating down it and placing my thoughts on those leaves, letting them drift away. It is a way to acknowledge the thoughts without getting too caught up in them, and it has helped me feel a bit lighter at times.
Please be gentle with yourself right now. You are doing your best, and even though things feel really heavy, you are not alone.
