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Doris
Youth Ambassador
since
16-08-2012
30-09-2015
823
Posts
433
Kudos
0
Solutions
23-09-2013
08:47 PM
1 Kudo
What are some of the physical and psychological things you feel when you are faced with a fear?
I feel sick to the stomach like nausea. Butterflies in the stomach, goosebumps and my hands would shake. I would also need to look away from the object that i am afraid of.
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23-09-2013
08:40 PM
Have you told someone about your fear (not including tonight ? If you have, how did you feel afterwards? If you haven't, what could be some reasons for holding back?
I have told my friends when our conversation deviated into phobias on facebook. For those that I have told, I just feel accepted. My friends just listened and nodded. For those that I havent told, well, there is no guilt for not telling them. It is just not the time for them to know yet.
I never told my family, because I know they will never support me.
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23-09-2013
08:31 PM
Thanks everyone for all your responses so far.
3. Have you told someone about your fear (not including tonight :) ? If you have, how did you feel afterwards? If you haven't, what could be some reasons for holding back?
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23-09-2013
08:23 PM
@michine wrote:
That's a good one Chonty :) All of mine seem pretty bland in comparison!
Thanks for sharing with us guys,
When did you first realised you have this particular fear? Was it an accidental and/or surprising discovery?
My fear of holes was always a sneaky suspicion when i randomly came across an article about trypophobia and locus flower in the Sydney Morning Herald and it all made sense!! So, it was in a sense accidental discovery
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23-09-2013
08:18 PM
Hey Chonty According to google, fear of zombies is Kinemortophobia
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23-09-2013
08:12 PM
Hey Sophie When I was younger. I was also scared of blood test and I also kicked a doctor or rather doctors (I needed 7 adults to hold me down for my first blood test). I am a bit wary of spiders, tho I don't think I have a phobia of them. However, I have a phobia of many small, clustered holes. => Trypophobia
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23-09-2013
08:04 PM
Hello ReachOut.com community!
Welcome to the Getting Real session on fears and phobias.
Tonight, I am co-faciliated by michine, sophie-RO and myself.
We will be talking about different phobias and how different people cope with the things they fear in their day-to-day life.
Have a look at this fact sheet to get an idea of what would qualify a phobia.
If you feel unsettled or upset during this discussion, please don’t hesitate to step away from the convo for a bit. Or try a relaxation session on Smiling Mind http://smilingmind.com.au/
Finally, please stick to the community guidelines when posting in today’s GR.
Ok, here’s our first Question to you!
1. Do you have a fear of something? If so, see if you could find the "official" name on this list and share it here!
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23-09-2013
07:35 PM
1 Kudo
Hey Snuffle-nose
Good on you for standing up for yourself. There is too many bad behaviour that goes uncommented on public transport. It happens here in Sydney too. I am appalled that your fellow passenger had a go at you rather than gave you a hand up into the tram.
My story:
I was on a bus once in the city and it just suddenly stalled. It was a full bus and I was running late for my appointment. The rest of the passengers waited patiently for the bus driver to start the bus again when suddenly this female passenger started swearing and complained about the length of the time the bus remained stationary. I was really impressed by what the bus driver did next. He went "Ok, this is it, you get off the bus now, I am not putting up with your abuse. And I won't start the bus till you do." She then reacted with more abuse and swear words, but she eventually got off the bus. Once she was off, another passenger was like "Good riddance."
My story is an extreme case, but at the same time, I am appalled and disappointed that some commuters have to be so cruel and rude towards another human being. So yeah, I commend you on your bravery Snuffle-nose!
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23-09-2013
07:19 PM
1 Kudo
1. Sleep 2. Exercise 3. Listen to music. 4. Write it down (letter, email, journal, diary, poem) 5. Colouring-in
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19-09-2013
06:42 PM
Hi @flippa
Welcome to RO.com
I am sorry things are hard for you. Thank you for reaching out.
I also have urges to do destructive things. One thing I do to manage it is by delaying the urge being carried out. Urges comes in waves. At one point it is strong, but if you hang in there, the urge spills over and comes back down. So, before you decided to head into the kitchen and grab a bar of chocolate, could you try and sit with the feeling for 5 secs longer? When the 5 secs is over, tell yourself "I am doing well, just another 5 seconds." Eventually the urge would pass.
Another strategy I would use is distraction. I thinking reading a book helps. It definitely takes my mind off all of reality, including the urges. Do you have a favourite novel you could get your mind hooked on when you felt like binging?
Doris
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19-09-2013
06:32 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @theOsiePosie2
Welcome to RO.com
I also don't like losing people in my life. What I try to do is come to a compromise with the other person. Basically it's like an agreement of what we could and couldn't do. For e.g. if one of us decided to go AWOL, we would have to give the other person a headsup first before disappearing off the radar. When we come back together, I guess it comes down to trusting each other to eventually open up about what just happened. If the other the person or I is not ready to open up, then it comes down to respecting each other's space and allowing time for us to go through things in their head.
So for your situation. Could you sit down with your ex and go through some of the boundaries you guys will respect when you guys stay as friends? I think it is important that you let your ex know you were really worried about him when he disappeared for months. It shows that you cared about him. I thinking talking with him about these worries is the key.
See how you go.
Doris
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19-09-2013
06:20 PM
Hi @Kalliades
Welcome to RO.com.
I could relate to the time when I withdraw from all my contacts when life is hard. I thought I don't deserve the company of other people. So I get what you mean when you decided to cut off your social life.
It is great you have a supportive family. Could you talk to them about what's troubling you during this tough time? There are other people out there who you could talk to. Have you tried a psychologist or a psychiatrist before? They could be referred by your local GP.
When I am down and wanted someone there, I would call a helpline. Usually Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800). It is great you are sharing your story here, because RO forums could help you connect with other young people who is going through similar experiences.
Another thing I would recommend is try some distraction strategies. Could start by introducing your self with 5 random things about you. Then have a read of what other people did to look after themselves when life got stressful (Self care)
See how you go.
Doris
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19-09-2013
06:03 PM
1 Kudo
Hey sagira Thanks for updating us. I liked your plan of action. Talk to her when she is friendly, otherwise, don't bother coz she arent gonna get the chance to make you feel bad. Let us know how you go when your placement is over. Or when something gets tough again. Cheers, Doris
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18-09-2013
06:13 PM
Regarding the 50th anniversary episode - I am sad that Matt Smith will regenerate in that epsiode. @Hollowcat, I can't remember which epsiode Sarah Jane returned to join the 10th doctor. I think it was near the end of Martha's season. I started watching Game of Thrones too. Plenty of DVDs to go through!
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18-09-2013
06:09 PM
@Manik_Meerkat - #2, trying to get my head around it, so your sister would have to be your half sister and her sister would be her half sister, thus is unrelated to you?
@SophM - #5, I would love to have you around my campfire. I love stories when there is nothing better to do than sleep afterwards
@tesla-weapon - #4, please sure the 5 courses you've tried. You must be persistent to always come back to try something new!
@GraceInSpace - #2, what kinds of sharks did you swim with?
Doris
P.S. Welcome all to RO.com
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18-09-2013
05:57 PM
Hi Sagira
Welcome back to RO!
It sounds like your housemate is a bit overboard with the obsessive-compulsive. I mean I have a mother who likes things the way she wants it in our house. It definitely gets my anxiety level going. I think I am anxious when my mother is looking around because I am apprehending her next outburst. I don't want her to catch me off-guard, thus I am constantly wondering "Is she going to yell at me now? Or maybe now? Or maybe now?" Anyone would go nuts after a little while living with her like this.
What you could do, is stay in your own space (like your room) when you are both in house together. I know it will be hard. I tend to minimise the time I spent in the same room with my mother. When I have to out in the kitchen, I would replace the things I've used the way I've found them. I think I rather do that than have my mother have a go at me. Keep the peace and my sanity for that matter.
If your housemate is comparing her marks to yours, I would also get quite anxious and disappointed with my marks too. I reckon you could try and maintain your assertiveness and not tell her what've you got. It's a privacy matter too. I mean, education isn't all about being competitive and always being the best. The fact she is comparing to you is because she knows she will have the better mark and in making you admit you have a lower mark makes her feel good about herself. Don't let her make you feel bad. You've tried your best and that's what matters.
Take care!
Doris.
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18-09-2013
05:29 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @tesla-weapon
Thanks for coming back and keeping us updated on your story.
I have also seen the words "make a full recovery" in some texts. Now that you have put it into perspective, I realised it too isn't the most accuracy way of putting concepts into words. I also don't believe you will revert back to the person you were before your diagnosis. Mental illness, like any illness or any life ordeal, changes a person. So, I agree with NigioC that recovery is not a destination but a journey. So you would "be on the road to recovery", rather "you will be fully recovered". But try not to get too caught up with wordings, because the person(s) who have written that sentence evidently only known recovery in a specific context.
Having said all that. I believe everyone has a chance to get better. I don't have a supportive family, medications also don't work on me. I have changed my team of therapists every year (so there is none of that continuity) and I am kinda lost with where I am heading. However, I have not allowed myself to let my mental illness take over my life. I think I am just fighting hard to stay in control instead of my illness controlling me. Sometimes to be in control, I have to do all sort things I don't like doing like-
1) Admitting I have issues and that I needed to face them
2) See therapists and dedicate time, money and effort into those sessions
3) Be willing to seek help and work cooperative with a therapist
4) Taking medications that I knew it may not work (but we don't know if it doesn't unless I've tried them)
5) Put up with study (the pain, pressure and stress of it all) becuase having an education would help me move forward in my life
I am glad you, tesla-weapon, have told us your story. I liked reading it.
Doris.
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03-09-2013
08:33 PM
Hey Tarzy
I could relate to your expression 'Losing my marbles' just last week. For me it my inability to manage the courses that all demanded my constant attention. I was confused with what I had to do in order to stay on top of the workload. I didn't see the point in going to class when it just means more content to follow upon later. To help find my marbles again, I had to withdraw from a subject. This helped bring down my stress levels and I could think a bit more clearer.
So coming back to you Tarzy, are you taking on too much at the moment that is making your head spin? You've mentioned "[need to] let myself off the hook", what is stopping you from doing just that?
Have a look at some of these coping strategies to help better manage the moment. There's 'Set aside a regular time for yourself' This could be as simple as distracting yourself (for 10 min) from all the merry-go-around in your head and think back to the colourful moments of your childhood.
See how you go :)
Doris
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03-09-2013
08:08 PM
Hey @Itsbundy
I think you are very brave to have done what you have to keep yourself safe.
I was also told numerous times to head to the emergency department of my local hospital if I don't feel safe. It is easier said than done. So I admire you for checking yourself in.
In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Take it one day at a time. The best person to help make things a little more bearable everyday is yourself. And reaching out for help at the hospital and at RO.com is a very good start. Don't give up :)
Take care,
Doris
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22-08-2013
09:09 PM
1 Kudo
I liked how you've asked my favourite episode MAJORminor because I actually have a favourite episode for Tennant's era. It will be "Gridlocked" I absolutely love the scene when the highway opens up and sunlight falls through for the first time in 24years! It was so Liberating!! I am yet to decide on a favourite during Smith's era. Still (slowly) watching the episodes on DVD.
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19-08-2013
10:09 PM
1 Kudo
Thanks for the awesome discussion tonight
1. What is one way you are going to look after yourself throughout this discussion?
Do something to distract yourself e.g. take a bath, listen to music, play with your pets, simply read the comments and not necessarily reply (if you are not ready).
2. How we do know when what we are feeling is depression, and not just a crappy day or week?
Usually when the blues last for 2 weeks and it is starting to affect other aspects of your life. Also when the things you used to enjoy is not as fun anymore and taking a negative outlook on life.
3. What are some of the symptoms of depression you might notice in depression?
Stuff you may noticed in a person are changes like lose interest in activities, changed sleep routine and appetite, being withdrawn, looking in the dumps.
4. How might you approach someone if you're concerned that they're experiencing depression?
Approach the person with an open mind and not be judgemental. Keep your questions simple like “Hey, I am seeing you are struggling a bit. Are you ok?” and letting them know you are here to listen and talk.
Start slow and don’t push them if they aren’t ready to answer. Come back and check on them at a later date. It is important to not belittle what a person is going through, because feeling down is tough.
5. What are some ways to dealing with those hard feelings?
Distract yourself with music, art, talking to a friend online or over the phone on the latest Hollywood gossip. If you feel it is getting too much, try seeking professional help. This can be in the form of a helpline (e.g. Kids Helpline/ Lifeline) or online chat (e.g. eheadspace). Other times, it is worth to build on a support network of friends and family.
Check out http://au.reachout.com/Key-services-for-help-with-depression for some help services out there.
6. Who could you talk to about depression?
Professional help like KHL, eheadspace, psychologist and GP etc.
Friends who you feel comfortable talking to.
7. What are the types of things we can do every day to promote good mental health?
Simple practical things like:
Eat, sleep, drink regularly,
Make a creative piece of artwork like colouring-in,
Take things one step at a time, live one day at a time (i.e. don’t think about your chores due on Saturday)
Positive self-talk and focusing on the positives in your day
Talk to someone when it gets too overwhelming
Hug someone!
8. Tell us three things you do/could do to help yourself when you're feeling low.
Sing and dance to some tunes (<= due to popular demand)
Draw/ paint/ playdough/ colour-in
Call a helpline
Special shout out to: Birdeye, Bee, Tree and littlebear for participating in tonight’s GR.
Also to MM and Sophie for co-faciliating.
If you are feeling distressed after tonight’s GR, try and utilise some self-help skills we’ve discussed. Or try one point from this factsheet
If none of these work, don’t hesitate to give KHL (1800 55 1800) or Lifeline (13 11 14) a call.
Remember what goes down must come up. It will get better. Hang in there! :)
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19-08-2013
10:02 PM
1 Kudo
It's been a bit of a heavy topic tonight, so to close things off, we'd like you to tell us three things you do/could do to help yourself when you're feeling low. Be as creative as you can!
Grab a cuppa
do some stretches and dance/ sing to some music
call someone if i need to later tonight
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19-08-2013
09:52 PM
3 Kudos
What are the types of things we can do every day to promote good mental health?
Post in three positives of today in Everyday life thread
OR
in Turning negatives into positives in Tough Times thread
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19-08-2013
09:34 PM
I am loving all your responses everyone. Keep them coming
Who could you talk to about depression? What kinds of help are available?
Helplines
My GP on campas
Psychiatrist at Headspace
A friend who experienced it before
another friend who is willing to listen
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19-08-2013
09:11 PM
Alrighty, full speed ahead to the next question - Depression can get very serious, very quickly. What do you think are some ways to prevent things from getting to that point? What has worked for you or friends?
I know if I feeling suicidal, I usually pick up the phone and call Kids Helpline at that point. What about you?
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19-08-2013
09:09 PM
Hey Tree welcome to RO and to GR. It sounds like that really hurt what your friend did. Good on your for having hope tho. What are some things you are doing to help yourself tonight?
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19-08-2013
08:56 PM
1 Kudo
How might you approach someone you care about if you're concerned that they're experiencing depression? What kinds of things would you say or not say?
Do
Ask them "Are you ok?"
Start a general convo over coffee with "Hey hows your day?" then casually say "I noticed you are bit stressed lately, I am here to listen."
Don't say
"Get over it mate, you will be fine."
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19-08-2013
08:48 PM
Geez, it is quiet here tonight. Just us 3 faciliators. Where is everyone?
Moving on. How might you approach someone you care about if you're concerned that they're experiencing depression? What kinds of things would you say or not say?
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19-08-2013
08:41 PM
1 Kudo
Good points Sophie
What are some of the symptoms of depression that you think you might notice in a friend (or in yourself)? We'd love to hear personal stories if you have them!
I think for me is when I was told by different teachers to go and see the school counsellor. I brushed it off for months until I realised I couldnt cope anymore and I walked in to see the counsellor on my own free will. I put "the ability to do well in school and get help" before "I believe I could really manage the blues on my own". It was a tough choice, but it was the right one.
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19-08-2013
08:36 PM
Totally agree MM. I know when I am down, the world looked black and white. When I am feeling better, the colour in my world seemed brighter.
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