Hmmm that sounds really tricky @kittykat30  You've done all the right things by trying to talk to her about it and make her aware of how it makes you feel, so if she's choosing not to change her behaviour and its continuing to have a negative impact on you, this might be someone worth distancing yourself from.. Do you think you could keep hanging out with the group but spend less one-on-one time with her? Are there other people in the group you feel close to?   I'm a bit concerned about you saying that you're "hated" by the rest of your grade, are you being bullied? x    ... View more

Very proud of you @redhead, that must have been a very challenging situation for you last night but I'm so glad to hear you kept yourself safe    ... View more

Perfect, I'm based in Melbourne too so will ask around!  ... View more

That's completely understandable @scared01. To be honest I would be a bit worried if you weren't stressed given the trauma you have experienced and are now coming to terms with  Know that we care about you and are here to support you through this    Is there anything you might like to do before bed that will help you relax a little? Perhaps listening to some music? ... View more

@j95 I think what you are doing is so SO awesome!! I understand that the relationship you have with your mum has been very challenging for you, so to see you actively looking for ways to fill your life with positive role models and mentors is seriously amazing!! I don't know of any programs off the top of my head but I'll do a bit of research too and get back to you   Where are you based?         ... View more

I havent seen that video @j95 but that sounds hilarious  is it from one of their roadtrips?? ... View more

Hey @scared01, while your reaction seems like it has been very stressful for you, I want you to know that it's also very natural. As this is the first time you've spoken to someone about your experience, I'm thinking it's also the first time you've said the words out loud..? Giving an experience or an emotion a label helps us process things that have happened, which is all part of healing. It will get easier, I promise    How are you feeling now? Have you found any of your go-to distraction methods helped this evening?        ... View more

Hey @kittykat30 and welcome to Reachout!!    That sounds really tough  Have you got anyone you can talk to about this who is outside of the friendship circle and maybe a bit more neutral/objective than people in the friendship group?    ... View more

@sm98 @Stagnator just thought I'd connect you two here as it looks like you're both going through a similar experience with uni at the moment    ... View more

Hey @Stagnator, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling lonely at the moment    That's awesome that you've just started uni though, which is basically a giant pool of potential friends  I totally see what you mean about finding it difficult to start talking to people at lectures/in class in the first few weeks, but every one else is probably feeling a bit nervous/awkward too and after the first week weeks, everyone starts to relax a bit more, which might make it easier to stike up a convo after class Group assignment also helped me a lot to break the ice with people and build friendships with people in my classes!    Have you considered joining any clubs or activities on campus? This is a great way to meet people who have very similar interests to you!    ... View more

Hey @sm98, and welcome to Reachout!! I'm sorry to hear you are feeling lonely and isolated at the moment     I remember the transistion from high school was pretty huge, and lots of school based friendship groups drifted apart once we weren't seeing each other every day.. Have you considered joining any clubs or getting involved in campus activities / o-week? At my uni there is a club for practically everything!!! This can be a really great way to meet people who have similar interests to you, which are the foundations to great friendships In my experience, the leaders/organisers/presidents/seniour members of the clubs are super nice and friendly, and make a bit effort to make the newbies feel included in the group! Talking about the activitiy/club is also an awesome conversation starter, if you're feeling nervous about that       Also, have you checked out the hanging out and games threads yet? It's a great place to meet awesome people in our community      ... View more

Hey @j95, just checking in to see how you’re feeling this morning? It seems like your feelings about your mum were pretty overwhelming last night  I hope your dogs helped your feel better and kept you safe    I think it is only natural to want to be hugged and loved by your mum. Unfortunately though, what your mum decides to do / not do is probably out of your control… What IS within your control though, is how you respond to these feelings / yearnings. You can also control who you surround yourself with, and the person/people you identify as being mother figures for you.   I saw an interesting quote this morning from a woman who is considering adoption because she cannot fall pregnant and she said “A mother is someone who raises a child.” It got me thinking that while I know your mother gave birth to you, perhaps your “mum" is actually someone else? Have there been other “maternal figures’ or influential figures in your life who you feel helped raise you? Extended family? Perhaps a teacher? A friend’s parent? Maybe thinking about positive memories of someone who helped raise you and does love you would help ease some of your painful feelings and sense of missing out with your biological mother?  ... View more

Hey @GraceInSpace93, I can identify a little with what you are going through.. It is a really tough potision to be in but I agree with @safari93 and @Chessca_H, it's really important to put yourself first. My ex boyfriend was dealing with a depression for most of our relationship and he was completely unmotivated to do anything about it himself.. He relied alot on me to feel happy and good, which at first I thought was a good thing that I was able to bring him out of his darkness and make him happy, it was actually a bit empowering if I'm honest, but he became pretty dependent on ME making him happy, rather than him figuring out how to make himself happy  As time went on, this reliance also became very draining to the point that I was exhaused and overwhelmed, which was obviously not good for my own mental health, but it also meant I no longer had the energy to keep supporting him in the ways I previously had been able to... It was a really tough decision to end the relationship because it felt like all the hard work and effort I had put into supporting him and building our relationship had been for nothing, but I came to accept that what we gave and learnt from each other during that period was still meaningful and neither of us would be where we are today without it . I was also very terrified that he would hurt himself if I left, and was racked with guilt, but he actually suprised me and it turned out the break up and me no longer being around to do everything for him was sort of a massive wake up call that he needed to stop relying on others and and actually prompted him sort his stuff out himself..    ... View more

Hey @setmefree these are very normal feelings to have, and I think you're really brave for taking this step to see a psychiatrist :)    Have you seen this recent thread where some members of RO discussed seeing a psychologist for the first time? Do you have any advice that you could share @StarLord @N1ghtW1ng @GG-DD @SmileMonkey?  ... View more

Hahhaha @Chessca_H you should patent that shit!!! ... View more

Looks amazing @roseisnotaplant, thanks for doing that!!!    Wooooo @May_ an hour and a half is super impressive!!! I hope endorphins DO work on you   ... View more

hey @roseisnotaplant, I think that it such an awesome idea of posting your plan for the day on RO and ticking things off as you go!! Do you think feeling more accountable for your plan by showing it to us helped you stick to it? Maybe you could start a new thread which can be a space for people to post their plans for the next day    ... View more

@Chessca_H my mum's dog is called Nellie too!!! What sorts are yours? My mum has a golden retriever and she's so gorgeous  Whenever I'm feeling stressed she always seems to know and will just lean against me or rest her head on my lap, it's seriously a miracle cure!!!    Awwww @Alison5 they sound adorbale but also quite a handful!!! I found raising one puppy hard enough, let alone too  ... View more

@Anonymous self-care to me is basically any activities that you intentionally do to make yourself feeeeel reeeally gooood! Reach Out also explains self care here!        So some of my self-care activities are looking at cute cat videos (as above ) floating (recently discovered as I work in a floatation centre!), sewing, eating out, colouring, spending time with friends and family, singing loudly (and very out of tune) along to music in my car!!   They can be used as distractors when you're not feeling great, but it's also important to set aside time every day to do them as a way of taking care of yourself    What are some things that you really like doing? Or you're really good at? Or can always make you smile?      ... View more

I totally understand @DruidChild, let me know how you go with the app, I really think it could be something that works for you  ... View more

@Anonymous I'm so glad to hear you're feeling more hopeful    Perhaps you could start by thinking about these questions:   What kinds of self-care are you best at? What kinds of self-care would you like to have a little more practice at? Activities that make me happy and help me unwind are: People I can contact when things are stressful e.g family, friends, Lifeline or KHL: What are three self-care activities you can do to help you distact yourself when you are feeling overwhelmed? ... View more

Hey @DruidChild, just checking in  How's your morning going?   I totally understand feeling overwhelming by the awful things happening to other people in the world  I often feel like this, and then end up feel apathetic towards all these problems because I get exhausted from caring and feel like there is nothing I can do to change any of it      I think the biggest problem that contributes to other peoples suffering is that too many people these days don't really care enough.. The fact that you have so much empathy for others is actually a huge weapon, because even though it hurts you're not willing to accept that the way things are is ok!! This makes you pretty special    It's totally ok to feel sad about the state of the world sometimes. But I think it's important to remember that people who are suffering appreciate that you care but wouldn't want you to be unhappy all the time.... Feeling sad and guilty for being happy will also drain your valuable caring energy that you could be channelling into something really positive!! Have you every tried worry time? This is something that has helped me a lot when I feel overwhelmed by things that I can't control.. Basically I set myself a specific time to grieve for others who are suffering/ shit happening in the world and the rest of time I try really hard to use my strong motivation to help others in a positive way, and if I have overwhelming thoughts during non-worry time, I just gently set them aside knowing I will be able to work through it properly during my worry-time. ReachOut actually have an worry time app if you'd like to try it!    ... View more

Hey @Eden1717 how are you going this morning? Did you end up calling CATT last night? ... View more

Here's a long list of distraction ideas to get you started :)  ... View more

@Anonymous it sounds like you've found a way to manage the arguments with you mum, which is really good! Has this helped reduce your stress a bit? I hope with time, she will come to give you the acceptance and support you deserve    I agree with @Sally-RO it might be a good idea to give Suicide Call Back Service a call    We could also brainstorm some safe alternatives to SH now if you'd like! Have you ever made a self-care plan?  ... View more

So impressive @loves netball!!!! Let us know how you go  ... View more

It sounds like this new counsellor is a good fit for you @Anonymous which is wonderful   Has your mum been any more supportive since you changed counsellors?   It's totally understandable to be sick of feeling terrible but I promise it won't always be like this  Do you have any safe strategies that usually help you cope with this pain?     ... View more

We definitely care about you @loves netball    That's so great to hear that you're feeling supported by your case manager     AND that you're focusing on your goals again! You are a super star!!!!    ... View more

@Eden1717 that sounds really tough :( Have you tried any self care this evening? or is there anyone you'd feel comfortable to call and have a chat to about what's going on? You've been so strong and resilient this past week, I know you can get through this  ... View more

Hey @Anonymous, just checking in to see how everything's going for you :)    I'm sorry things with your mum has been so difficult, but I really REALLy hope that you don't give up because of it, because you 100% deserve this support, it's just such a shame that your mum isn't able to see that :( Do you think it would help if your psychologist spoke to your mum and dispelled some of her ideas about why you shouldn't be seeing them?   xxx ... View more