About shio

shio · ‎20-03-2018

Thanks for asking @scared01 :) and great answer from yourself & @Nightruner23! Hmm... if I had to say, maybe my ability to see the positives in the negatives? Seems like every bad thing that's ever happened to me has taught me something valuable. Not always easy to see it that way as it's happening haha but with the benefit of hindsight, something good can come out of even the worst stuff!

shio · ‎14-03-2018

@Nightruner23 That's really great - it can be really difficult to make the first move and go out of your way to talk to new people, so it's super cool that you're making the effort :) @missep Thank you for all the kind words! I spend plenty of time in my own head, so I've had ample opportunity to get to know myself :D It's been so long since I've had people like that in my life that it's easy to get disheartened every now and then but I recognise that it's just a time thing and try to create as many opportunities for it to happen as I can. These are all really boiled down synopsises but one is about someone who gets trapped in his own mind and has to walk through his past lives to escape, another's a guy who is the only person on the planet (other than a vicious demigod) born without horns, and the most recent one follows a centuries-old scribe in a world where collective belief has a tangible influence on reality. Having lots of fun with the current one :)

shio · ‎14-03-2018

Hey @Bree-RO - I'm 26 in June, so I've still got a couple months left in me! Wish I'd found you all sooner.

shio · ‎13-03-2018

Hey @redhead. New kid on the block here haha. Rather than asking for what must be the umpteenth time, I just got a bit of an insight into what's going on with you from your post history - hope that's not weird lol. I don't wanna launch into some diatribe as if I know you from just that though, so... anything you wanna talk about?

shio · ‎13-03-2018

@Nightruner23 I really struggle with this too. I have a habit of going really quiet in situations like that, and then beating myself up for not having more to offer or feeling bad that everyone else seems to be engaging effortlessly. I'm not as bad as I used to be with it but it still makes something like Meetup very daunting. I guess for me, it's gotten to the point where the possibility of having a bad experience like that seems worth it if it means I get a shot at meeting somebody who I don't have to feel that way with. All I know is that sitting in my living room isn't getting me any closer to it and my current formula isn't really working, so I'm just going to have to bite the bullet and try something new :) you know what they say about the definition of insanity!

shio · ‎13-03-2018

@missep You know, thinking about it, I would probably classify myself as extroverted too... provided there were more of us in the world! I think I'm really only situationally introverted, for all the reasons we've talked about. Considering that those mentally draining options are all that I've really got to work with for now, introversion is just the lesser of the evils. I'm so happy that you've found people you don't have to force it with - I can really appreciate just how valuable that is :D Absolutely though; it's 100% necessary for me to take time out for myself every now and then to not go a little bit (more) insane. I do have a blog, actually! I started it halfway through last year and it's become really important to me. I never go for more than a couple of days without a post, and sometimes write up to three in a day when I'm feeling particularly prolific. I also have four or five unfinished novels, only one of which I'm actively working on. I seem to get to the 50,000 word mark and start to think... wait, is this entire concept just garbage?! And off to the mortuary it goes I say it every time, but I have a good feeling about this one! It's wonderful to think I might be making a difference for somebody :)

shio · ‎12-03-2018

@Bee I imagined the same mystical force preventing me from ever eating anything else again would be covering the cost! Re: new foods, there is lots I eat now that I never would have considered a few years ago! The biggest surprises have been things like spinach, broccoli, cheese (like danish feta and camembert) and, yeah, eggs cooked ALL ways was something I never could have seen coming. There are still some things I haven't quite come around to but generally speaking, I'll eat whatever's put in front of me these days rather than sitting there trying to rearrange my plate to look like I'd eaten more of it than I really had LOL.

shio · ‎12-03-2018

@FootyFan26 Okay yeah, if we're paying for it then I'm going with the salad route haha! I'm new to salads, and lots of food in general. I was a very fussy eater growing up but the floodgates finally opened a few years ago. Scrambled eggs were what made me broaden my horizons--I was like... if I can be this wrong about egg, then what else am I missing out on?!

shio · ‎12-03-2018

@FootyFan26 I actually seriously considered the healthy choice before I answered, seeing as that's all it'd be forever, but... nope, steak won out in the end haha. @Bee There's plenty that I'd miss, and lots of other contenders... but a life of ~$60/kg steak is an opportunity too good to turn down

shio · ‎12-03-2018

@FootyFan26 If I had ice cream in the freezer at the moment I'd be making those pancakes right now LOL, that sounds amazing. I can't have it in the house or I'll just sit there and eat it all hahaha @Bee Heck of a commitment! I'd have to say steak - eye fillet specifically. It's the one thing I couldn't be okay about never eating again lol. @scared01 &FF26 - could never get into pineapple, least of all on pizza :( the flavour and texture of it just seems so out of place on a pizza to me

shio · ‎12-03-2018

@FootyFan26 Dark chocolate gets such a bad rap, and it's so good! Milo in general is awesome and basically my childhood haha. Putting it on top of ice cream and mixing it all up into a thickshake, putting it in my Weet Bix, you name it LOL. Lambs brain is top notch too - ordered lambs fry at a pub once not knowing that's what it was and I'm so glad I didn't because I'm not sure I'd have gone for it otherwise haha!

shio · ‎12-03-2018

@scared01 Oh man, I haven't had carrot cake in forever. My nan used to make a killer carrot cake - whenever I went to visit, she made sure to have some carrot cake and a hot Milo ready

shio · ‎12-03-2018

Thanks for the invite @scared01 :) @Bee Yiros, hands down. I can't even think about them without wanting one. And tomorrow is payday........ :p

shio · ‎12-03-2018

Good question @Nightruner23! It has a category for writers, which is very appealing to me - possibly one of those? I have to comb through the groups a bit more when I get home to see if I can find one that really stands out. I really like the concept of Meetup at a glance. It seems like a great way to meet people; you know who's going and exactly what you're all going there for, so it seems like a good gateway into some much-needed socialising! :)

shio · ‎12-03-2018

Good morning all :) back to work...! Backfilling my previous role at the moment, as much as I'd rather not be lol. Anyone got anything exciting lined up for this weekend? Not that I'm already projecting ahead to Friday or anything... Oh, and happy birthday @Brendos94!!

shio · ‎12-03-2018

Looks promising, @Erin-RO! I'll have a look for an appropriate group and let you know if I have any success :)

shio · ‎11-03-2018

Thanks @LeoTheLion :) Regarding comparison, I agree completely. I hadn't even thought of it in terms of comparing my past and present selves - that's a really interesting perspective, so thanks again. It definitely isn't easy, and you're right to say that I'm probably not giving myself the best chance with the avenues I've been taking; they're just the ones that are readily available, and not necessarily in the right places. That said, I'm at a bit of a loss as to what the right places might be. Approaching anyone cold anywhere doesn't even feel like an option to me, so I've been trying to look to my hobbies for a group activity... to not much avail. I've often heard libraries come up in discussions like this: do people really meet in libraries? It's an appealing thought but it always seemed like an inherently solo activity haha. I suppose the odds are better there than at home.

shio · ‎11-03-2018

@Erin-RO Yeah, it's a difficult one! I begrudgingly admit that I agree with her for the most part but as you said, we are a social animal by nature and I feel I am just /acknowledging/ the limit to how happy I personally can be without those positive social relationships, rather than imposing a limit on myself. Having a look at positive psychology now and there's plenty to digest - thanks for the helpful response!

shio · ‎11-03-2018

Hey @mrmusic & everyone else! Missed out on this one :( had an unexpected visit yesterday and ended up going into the city for a few drinks. It was fairly tame as she had work tomorrow but it was nice to see her. I was a little distant at certain points in the evening - she could tell I wasn't feeling all that great, and she spent a solid hour or so trying to convince me that my desire to find a friend or partner who really gets me is a 'mental block' that I've placed on myself that's holding me back from being happy. Her philosophy is that we shouldn't need anyone or anything outside of ourselves and that, as long as I'm trying to fill that void with something other than myself, even if I DID find someone like that it would just put pressure on them to be my happiness and wouldn't really resolve the emptiness that I've been feeling. It's a conversation I've had with myself many times but I just can't come around to her way of thinking. She doesn't agree, but I can't help thinking there's a difference between 'being able to feel happy because you don't feel horribly alone all the time' and 'making your happiness someone else's responsibility'. It's not as if I'm never happy; in fact, when I really look at it, my life is pretty well on track... with the one exception of not having anyone to share any of it with. I feel that if I were to ignore or downplay that urge, I would just be lying to myself and filling that 'void' with self-deception. She has people like that in her life already, which makes it kinda frustrating to hear all this from her--like, easy for you to say! Haha. Sorry for the novel...! I would appreciate any insights you guys might have :)

shio · ‎11-03-2018

@Love123 Ahh, that's tough! For me to feel okay about singing in front of someone, I have to know a song inside and out--not just the words, but exactly where all the notes are too. I find if I try to sing something where there's even one or two things I'm not sure of, for example if a line in the chorus is sung slightly differently each time and I can't remember which order they happen in, it really trips me up haha. Maybe that's just me though! I would just go with your favourite song to sing :) if you need some inspiration though, you could run a search for 'easiest karaoke songs' and pick something you recognise from there?

shio · ‎10-03-2018

@Love123 If you really wanted to, there are a bunch of places (like Vocaroo) you could upload it to and then just drop a link in here? Happy to give some feedback! Totally no pressure though, it is a pretty daunting thing :D

shio · ‎10-03-2018

@Love123 Oh yeah, it definitely isn't the easiest thing to find the money for. It's absolutely murdering my wallet actually LOL but it's been worth it! Yeah... I have hundreds of voice recordings from over the years and they ended up on my iPod somehow - makes me cringe so hard whenever one comes on shuffle

shio · ‎10-03-2018

@scared01 We certainly do!! I'm reading Beyond the Shadows, by Brent Weeks. It's the third part of a trilogy, and it's probably my favourite series. I go back and read through them again every couple of years :)

shio · ‎10-03-2018

Aloha, @scared01 & co! Broke as all hell, as is becoming the norm so not much on the table this weekend, just reading a book and enjoying the (slightly) cooler weather & occasional spells of rain. What's everyone up to? Anyone got a song to share? Not sure what made me think of this one--it's probably not for everyone haha but it's an old favourite: https://youtu.be/D71Gm9NrKRo

shio · ‎10-03-2018

As I read this @codeblue, I was thinking... wait, did I write this post?! Totally get where you're coming from on pretty much all counts. Been chasing my tail with finances for months and have been so strung out emotionally for such a long time and it just hasn't let up at all. When you don't get any relief from all the shite that goes on, it's really easy to start thinking negatively. As you mentioned, you even start thinking negatively ABOUT thinking negatively... and here comes the 'but'. We get up every morning, and we do what we have to. When times are tough, there's some incredible strength in that. Believe me, I know as well as anyone how difficult it can be when you don't feel there's anyone fulfilling of or even attentive to your needs. But it sounds like there are people around you that do care and you care about in return, which is pretty great in and of itself. Don't ever feel like you're not good enough. The simple fact that those people want to be in your company should tell you that you have something to offer them. Everybody's different, and it doesn't do you any good to feel bad about not being something that you aren't. Besides, if who you really are scares somebody away, then chances are they weren't the right people to surround yourself with in the first place. Trying to be something other than you are is just not sustainable. My advice would be to just be yourself, and don't be afraid to try and get closer to those people. If it's meant to be, it'll be :) and if not, at least you'll know and can stop torturing yourself about it!

shio · ‎10-03-2018

Thanks for sharing @Tdozer. I can definitely relate to that. My parents separated when I was 8, and every time they got with a new partner my whole world and everything that was expected of me changed. I hated it. I agree that getting a job on top of everything you're dealing with is probably asking a bit too much right now. And man, I can especially relate to being called lazy and told I was doing nothing when in reality, I was just too sad to do anything and all of the little things I was doing were going completely unnoticed. It made me so mad being told I was doing nothing when I was doing everything I could just to not fall apart. It hurts when a parent takes someone else's side against you, especially when it's someone who's not even really family. It feels like they're choosing some stranger over you, which is pretty awful. It's tough at your age, since you're basically at the mercy of of your parents... but you're so close to finishing school, and that's when life really begins. Try to keep in mind that there are better days ahead, where whatever (edited out name) thinks is really not your problem :D

shio · ‎10-03-2018

Morning @Tdozer! If you don't mind me asking, what sort of things do you fight about with your mum & her partner? It sounds like it's happening a fair bit. I thought maybe talking about it might help?

shio · ‎10-03-2018

Thanks, @missep! I suppose I've always been a little better with other people's problems than I have my own haha. I'd probably be fine if I could take my own advice every now and then And thanks again! My words are my pride, so this is always wonderful to hear :) I myself worry that I'm too selective in my friendships, but I think it's just necessary for me. I get burnt out really easily by socialising with someone who isn't completely on the same wavelength--which is to say the great majority of people, unfortunately! Perhaps it's similar for you? Without that special 'something' in common, more often than not it's just stressful and hard work. Even when I'm with them I still feel alone and, as is essentially the root of my unhappiness, those are really the only kinds of people I've had around me for a long time now. I swear, it's almost like I'm a different species. It's as much a blessing as it is a curse I suppose, though it becomes difficult to see it that way after extended periods of being 'alone' (if not in a literal sense). Terrible shame that those who fit the bill are so hard to come by!

shio · ‎09-03-2018

Hi @Tdozer! School was a really hard time for me too. People didn't understand me, and people who don't understand you have a bad habit of singling you out and trying to make themselves seem 'cool' by making fun of you. What you need to know is that it isn't personal. After all, how can anyone who doesn't even make an effort to get to know you really have anything valuable to say about you? Please just know that the things you're feeling won't last forever. I know how much it hurts when people don't accept you for who you are, but it really isn't about you and it certainly isn't your fault. You are perfect just the way you are. I'm so sorry that there aren't people around you who don't realise that right now but please believe that eventually, you WILL find people who can see just how special you are :D

shio · ‎09-03-2018

@Nightruner23 Lol, it's awesome that you realised I was kinda talking about a situation of my own when I said that..I guess it feels kinda selfish for me to be worried about myself when others are probably more in need of concern than I am? I was just worried that maybe you felt the same about your own situation. Sounds like you're going way above and beyond in spite of your own issues and that's really respectable.

Date Registered	‎09-03-2018 06:08 PM
Date Last Visited	‎20-03-2018 06:50 PM
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Date Last Visited	‎20-03-2018 06:50 PM

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