Sorry for not being active for the past couple of days. I just wanted to post an update. I have managed to find full time work and move interstate. I am in a much better place now because I have the grad job and I can start my career. There are things that I haven't dealt with and I do have a lot going on, but I don't have much support here. My friends and family are back home. I have also had some medication changes which has been hard to deal with. I might just start a new thread about those things soon, but I wanted to say thank you to everyone for listening to me and supporting me. ... View more

Hey @Jay-RO   Thanks for the link, I'll check it out.   At uni, I worked best at night so I would do tasks that required more concentration then, such as working on assignments. In the mornings and during the day, I would do tasks like writing notes or completing readings. I used to find it hard to get started but I had to get things done because I had deadlines to meet.   It will be a good idea to start a new thread on starting things. I'll leave this one for when I need more support on my situation.   ... View more

Hey @letitgo   I have a plan on how I will apply for jobs. I have mapped out the opening and closing dates of grad programs. I have broken it down into smaller tasks like updating my resume, researching the company, writing a cover letter etc. It just seems to be too much effort and I can barely get started. If I don't apply, I will miss out this year. I have to apply but I can't get started. ... View more

Hey @gina-RO   I only started this job a few months back and it's casual work so I don't get leave. I can work whenever I want to as long as I get my tasks done, so its flexible in that way.   I didn't get a break in the past two years because I was studying full time at uni. I graduated in December last year. It's too big of a risk to take a day or two off because of my thoughts.   I feel a bit okay when I am working and I find it hard to cope when I am not. Today is one of the days when I can't focus on anything at all. I have been at work all day and I barely got anything done.   I also have to apply for full time grad jobs this month, but I am dreading it so much. It takes so much effort and time. ... View more

I don't know what to do anymore. I have been trying to get work done but I can't focus at all. I feel pretty tired and burnt out from not being able to take a break for the past two years.  I feel pretty lonely but there is nothing I can do about it. At this point, I really wish I had some support but I don't think that I will ever get it. It really sucks to be in this position. ... View more

Hey @Esperanza67   Its pretty tough living like this when my mental health is so bad. I don’t have any support for my diagnoses either. My psychologist would have been good but I don’t have that option anymore. My GP is managing the medication side of things but other than that, I have nothing. My friends and family don’t care and I got abandoned by my psych.   I still feel the same today. I feel pretty lonely but there is nothing I can do. I came in to work today but I can’t focus on my work and I can barely get anything done.      ... View more

Hey @Taylor-RO   Thanks for saying that <3    I am still finding it hard to cope even when I am doing the best I can. I have to go to bed soon and I always have a hard time sleeping. I am constantly tired and I can't seem to switch off and take a break. I don't know what to do anymore. Today has been harder than yesterday and tomorrow will be harder than today. Everyday is harder for me than the previous day :(  ... View more

Another day has passed and I still feel the same. I just want the pain to stop. I have work tomorrow, which will help distract me a bit. I am having a hard time tonight dealing with my thoughts. ... View more

Hey @Esperanza67   Thank you <3    I got abandoned twice by psychologists, who I trusted a lot. They had private practices, but they didn't want to see me there. I didn't get a reason either on why they left me.   I can't go through that pain again. I don't want to start all over again with someone new because the risk of abandonment outweighs the benefits. I don't think I will ever go back to seeing a psychologist ever again because of what happened. I have given up on all hope that things can get better for me. I have to live like this.   I have tried online services too, they don't help. I can't talk on the phone, so that's not an option for me. I have tried everything I could. My friends and family don't care anymore. Things have been worse and it's hard to manage after I got the diagnoses of Asperger's and ADHD.   ... View more

Hey @mrmusic   Yeah it's pretty tough living like this, but I just need some help accepting that things will never change and I am not meant to have a good life.   Honestly, all I want in my life is my career and I can't have that when my mental and physical health is so bad. On top of all that, I feel lonely a lot of the time.   I don't really know how I can be helped. I wish I did. I know that talking to someone face-to-face helps but I don't have that anymore and I'll never be able to go back. ... View more

Hey @mrmusic   It's a pretty tricky situation to be in. I have no one who cares about me and eventually people get so tired of me that they end up leaving. I feel like I am a burden on everyone in my life.   I have tried doing a gratitude journal before. I use an app for that these days, but it doesn't help me much unfortunately. ... View more

I don't know what to do anymore. I am having a hard time not thinking about how bad things are. I don't have work till Monday, so it will be hard to manage in the weekend. ... View more

Hey @Lan-RO   Thanks for checking in <3   My night was rough and I am still feeling really down today too :( I don't know why this always happens to me. I want to get better but that is too much to ask for. ... View more

Hey @Bee   Yeah I do have a routine and I try to go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time each morning. I can't get to sleep because I keep thinking about all the bad things that life has thrown at me. I don't know why but I am feeling pretty abandoned tonight.    I feel like I did to something to deserve all this pain. I just want the pain to stop but I know that this is what my life is and how things will be. I have no hope left that anything can improve. ... View more

Hey @Bee   Thank you <3   I have had a chronic sleep problem for a while now. More so, after my psych abandoned me. I can't really do anything about it. I am seeing my doctor next week, but until then I am at a loss on what to do.   I am feeling really lonely tonight and I am having a hard time dealing with my thoughts. I don't know what I did to deserve this. ... View more

Hey @letitgo   I couldn't sleep properly last night. I kept thinking about everything. I feel pretty tired and done with everything. I spent the entire day at work, but I couldn't get much done unfortunately. I feel abandoned tonight too and I am having a hard time coping again. ... View more

Hey @Bee   Yeah it is disheartening and the worst part is that I will never be able to trust someone again to talk about what I have been through and what I go through on a daily basis.   The diagnoses reiterate the face that life is hard for me and I have a lot more to deal with on top of what I already go through. Opening up about it made me lose friends and there is hardly anyone in my life who is supportive of it.   Once again, I am finding it hard to cope tonight and deal with all my thoughts. ... View more

Hey @Bee   Thank you <3    I didn't get a reason on why they left me and they did that at the worst possible time, which sucks a lot. It's something that has been on my mind a lot along with my other problems. I guess that I have to accept that life will be like this for me and find a way to accept that nothing will ever get better. I have the diagnoses of Asperger's and ADHD, which only makes things worse for me.   ... View more

Hey @Bee   I can't talk on the phone so it's not an option for me, and I have tried online before. It hasn't worked out. They have said to seek face-to-face help because of everything that I am going through. I don't think I will ever be able to trust again because of the abandonments. I have had my trust broken before, but those were the last straws for me. ... View more

Hey @basketofmonkeys @Bee   I don't think I will ever be open to trying a new psychologist. It could help but the risk is too much for me to take, especially after being abandoned twice. I don't think I can ever go back to face to face help, even when I know that it would be the best option for me.   I guess life is meant to be that way for me and nothing will ever get better. The sooner I accept that, the better it is for me. I don't know what I did to deserve all of what I am going through, but I also know that there is no way out.   I didn't have any supports other than my psych before and now I have no one. My doctor does care, but I can't talk to her about everything because the amount of time is limited, even when I book longer appointments with her.   ... View more

Hey @Bee   Yeah, she's a really good doctor and she cares. She wants me to see someone for face-to-face help and even I know that it's the best way to manage my condition. It's hard to do that after being abandoned twice by people who I trusted. It sucks that I will never be able to get the help that I need.   I want to get my report done and focus on my work, but it's hard to do that. I wanted to talk to a friend but I tried and most of them are either busy or they didn't reply.   I feel pretty burnt out too - I haven't had a break in two years. I can't do anything to relax or switch off. Nothing is strong enough to distract me from my thoughts. ... View more

I am having a hard time coping tonight and getting any work done :(  I have to finish a report for work and it's due tomorrow but I can't focus on it.   My thoughts are all hitting me at once and I just keep thinking about how bad things are. ... View more

Hey @Jess1-RO   Thanks for saying that <3    I am pretty stuck, but at the same time, I also know that I will never get the help that I need.   I have a good relationship with my doctor. She has been taking care of my medication and she also got me to see a psychiatrist last week for ADHD medication. She knows about my psychologist situation and she has also talked to my psych on the phone. She wants me to start all over again with someone new, but she knows that it's hard because I have been abandoned twice. She is supporting me the best she can, but she wants me to have face-to-face help too.  ... View more

Hey @Jay-RO   Yeah I haven't had the best experience when it comes to continuity of care with psychologists. She was really helpful and I was getting better when I got to see her regularly. She didn't give a reason why she couldn't see me at her private practice. She just said no when I asked her. She specialised in Aspergers and ADHD, which is my diagnosis but she said that she can't see me anymore. I have a good doctor to manage the medication side of things, but other than that, I have nothing. I know that medication helps but a combination of medication and therapy works best. Sadly, I will never get that.    I really can't do group settings so support groups are not an option for me. I know that one on one support would be the best at this stage until I can manage on my own, but I know that I will never get that. After being abandoned twice, I don't think that I will ever be able to go back to see a psychologist again. It sucks that the only thing that can help me is the one that is not an option for me. ... View more

Hey @Jay-RO   I know that face to face help is the best option for me, and I do want to go back to the psychologist who abandoned me. It was helping when I got to see her regularly. It is not possible to see her anymore because I have graduated from university and she works at the university counseling centre. She has a private practice too but she doesn’t want to see me there. If I can’t go back to my previous psychologist, then I am not going to seek face to face help ever again. I have to accept that life will never get better.   ... View more

Hey @Erin-RO   Yeah I do feel really stuck and I don't see a way out of it. I don't think that I can be helped anymore. I am a lost cause.   Talking on the forums helps, but I know I can't do it all the time. I just need someone to listen and I feel comfortable talking on here. I also know that I need a lot more help to get better, now that I have a diagnosis of what is wrong with me.   I have looked through those threads, but I am not up to taking part in them as of yet unfortunately. ... View more

Hey @Erin-RO   Nothing really helps to be honest. Everything is easier said than done and I really don't have any energy left in me. The only thing that used to help was talking face to face, but I don't have that option anymore. The risk is too much to take, and I can't take it a third time (I tried twice and I was abandoned both times). I can't talk to my family and friends - they don't care anymore.   Work is a good distraction for me, but when I am not working, it's really hard to cope. I keep losing my momentum at work though. It's hard to be productive at work when I have a lot going on. I tried talking about what I go through to people at work, but that didn't end well. ... View more

I don't know what to do anymore. Today is hard for me again because I don't have work and everything is hitting me all at once. ... View more

Hey @Taylor-RO   I read through that article. It's easier said than done and I can't do it on my own. This is something I need professional help for, but that's never going to happen. I feel pretty down at the moment, all things considered, and I don't have work till Tuesday to distract me either.   I have talked to my friends and usually I am the one making all the plans. Lately, they just reply by saying that they are busy or not reply at all. Then again, they have time to spend with each other and their partners. I think I have gotten the hint from them - they don't want me around. I know that opening up about my mental health issues to them was a mistake. I pushed them away by doing that. I don't blame them. It's my fault that they don't want to spend time with me. ... View more

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't think that anything can be done to help me. Long weekends are hard when I don't have work. Today is especially hard. Everything is becoming too much for me to deal with. I don't know what's wrong with me. I keep blaming myself for everything that's happening in my life.   I want to talk to my psych, but I don't have that option anymore. I want to spend time with my friends, but they all have gone to the coast and I wasn't invited to come with them. It's not the first time that has happened but it doesn't make it any less hard. I just need to accept that me and my mental health are a burden to everyone around me.    ... View more