im doing well thank you, I’ve noticed that the late night talking has stopped.
one bad thing did happen though. I had gotten accidentally injured by a metal thing sticking out of the ground and it was kinda rusty sooo, I got a muscle infection in my right leg. No big deal, the doctors said and they handed me antibiotics.
but all in all I’m doing alright 👌
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***Viewer discretion is advised for people struggling with suicidal thoughts or depression, if you are known to get triggered from reading depressing stories, don’t read this one*** Ever since I was a child in grade 1 at about 7 years of age I’ve been left out completely pushed away from groups. I was the kid that would get pushed shoved and bullied because I was different. I have red red hairy and freckles, which a big no no when it comes to primary school. I was made fun of and laughed at by other children. I felt like an outsider, of coarse teachers never noticed and my parents just couldn’t see my motivation to live life diminishing. I have no reason to commit suicide because I have finally opened up to a counsellor online and he mentioned this website. These feelings of complete loneliness, anxiety and depression have been compiling for about 11 whole years, some days I would just stay awake and cry only to wake up the next day to go back to bed crying again. I still haven’t made any friends in high and I’m not sure how long I can last, that is staying in school. Ive tried making friends but all I get is strange looks and judgmental eye gazes. This of coarse has been bottled up and I’m fed up. I’m seeking help. Anyone to just make me happy for a day, for me to not feel like a useless human being. i should have seeked help before but I couldn’t find the motivation to do so. I would lay in bed missing school so I didn’t have to look at myself in the mirror and think what could I have done. What could I have changed to at least get noticed. With long stares deep into a mirror I have forced myself to come upon this website and seek help. im not sure what to do though, I mean I could talk to people online, get a friendly message but I’ve been so secluded for such an extended period of time that I’ve lost hope. My parents don’t understand saying “why are you sad now” and “why are you telling us this now.” Ive also started hearing things when I sleep like little “hey”s or “what”s which has been terrorising my heart lately, sometimes thinking I hear full sentences like “when will he go” and “why doesn’t he do it”. I don’t know what this means but I’ve only just started hearing things and I’m scared. If anyone could point me in the right direction I would very much appreciate it.
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