I just caught my longterm boyfriend- talking to his ex mistress (girl he cheated on his previous girlfriend with years before) on secret social media accounts he hid from me. One subject they were talking about was breaking up with me. And I found out he'd spent a night with her. When I confronted him he denied and lied about the messages constantly, until the next day. He finally told me he doesn't love me anymore, hasn't for a while and he doesn't want to be with me anymore. I feel so used and pathetic. Like all this time I've been living a lie. I feel like I'm unworthy of being truly loved by anyone ever. I've only ever been used my whole life and this proves it to me. How do I move on from this? Ive never felt pain or been heartbroken like this before, I don't feel anything now, I've gone emotionally numb. I just feel hatred for him. I want him to feel the pain he caused me :'(. How can I see the sunshine through all this fucked up rain in my life :'(
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