Thanks very much for the great discussions everyone. I really learned a lot from your stories, perspectives and experiences. I hope that all that's been collated tonight makes a really positive impact in the not-too-distant future. Thanks to Doug for co-facilitating, and to MM for the constant messages of support and the funny animal pictures. That's just awesome. Peace out everybody! ... View more

I'm not really sure what the "culture of using social media" is exactly, but having it accessible practically 24/7 is a powerful way to connect with people, and through them, potential help. If they don't receive the support they're seeking from friends, perhaps they can access it themselves through exploring sites like RO or using the KHL.  R U OK Day is a great example of how the culture of SM can be used to express care. I hope that many people received messages from people who they didn't think had noticed.   I mentioned earlier that it is by no means inherently a bad thing to reach out for help via social media. All people have basic needs- the need to be safe, cared for, loved, supported etc. If a person is not receiving these things, it is entirely understandable that they will reach out to others for them. Social media might not be the best avenue, but at least it's an avenue. And through it, many people have received help (even if many others have not).   It could be positive because it can connect people with the help they need! But in order for that to work, more people need to become aware of what help is out there. I would love to see more people accessing sites like RO. Furthermore, it's important that YP feel that if they have a problem, they could benefit from getting help! Too many people think they're alone in their problems and that they can't turn to anyone. I dearly wish that all people became aware of how many services and people are out there who are willing to help if they only reached out. ... View more

I also wanted to mention that self-care is huge. I know that I have a tendency to take other people's problems on as my own, so I've recently started drawing a very firm line in the sand about the way I respond to someone's needs. I express genuine care, but I also don't let myself get sucked in. If a friend is suicidal, I don't feel that if they commit suicide, it's in any way my fault, or even necessarily my responsibility. My role is to be a friend, not a saviour. (And if not a friend, then an acquaintance, a supporter, a casual stranger or whatever my relationship with the person might be at the time.)   I just thought that was really important to share. ... View more

It occurs to me that many young people feel they cannot talk to the people in their lives offline. Teachers, friends, parents, siblings; they might not want to "burden" any of these people with the knowledge of their problems, or they might not feel like they'd get any support from trying. Social media then serves as a way to tell a lot of people at once, in a semi-removed kind of way, that things are not okay.   This is also particularly relevant for people who are being bullied, have social anxiety, are shy or introverted. Not everyone is comfortable having a face-to-face conversation. Text feels much safer, giving the person more distance and time to choose how they want to respond.     Responding to Question Three... I didn't realise that YPtalking about suicide on SM is something we wanted to reduce. It's not a great system, and I don't pretend to know how effective or ineffective SM is as a tool for directing help, but I still feel there's potential for good to come of such public expressions of the desire to receive help. But to reduce it... I'd love to see more people using ReachOut or Headspace or sites like that. I knew about RO for years, but I never bothered to sit down and really explore the site until I was looking for help to give a friend of mine. If every YP could be made to spend a few minutes going through the site, perhaps it would give them access to the help they needed. (I'm imagining a Wellbeing Class taught in all high schools where everyone goes into a computer lab for half an hour to check out youth websites.) If YP could get the help they needed from these sort of places, perhaps they wouldn't feel the need to post on SM. The action I'd take if I read a post on suicide is to publicly express concern. I'd recommend they check out wellbeing websites (as mentioned above), and if appropriate, recommend they talk to their local counsellor. If they started opening up to me, I'd move the conversation to private venue (like messaging) and do my best to be caring whilst encouraging them to access the help they needed. If  I was worried that they were at about to commit suicide, I would get their address (from someone on their friends list if I didn't know it myself) and call 000. I'd also leave the door open if they wanted to talk about it later, giving me an opportunity to check up on how they're doing down the track.   The kind of response I expect is for most people to ignore such a post, and for one or two people to comment expressing concern and a desire for the person to seek help. This has been my experience so far, but I am hoping that others have more positive stories to share.   I expressed my views on "how far intervention should go" two paragraphs up, but to summarise... Acknowledge how the person is feeling, express care and concern, share information about how to get more help (online and in person), encourage the person to do something about their problems (hopefully by seeing a professional mental health worker or counsellor), if suicide is believed to be an immediate threat call the police, leave the door open if the person wants to talk another time, check up on them in the future.  ... View more

I think young people turn to social media in difficult times because, even if they want to deal with their problems on their own, deep down they really want other people to know how much they're hurting. To many people, social media might provide an avenue that feels safe where they can start to drop hints about what's really bothering them, and have people take notice of them. Of course, this can lead to problems with being ignored and isolated (which we talked about earlier).   I know that personally when I was going through a rough time, I sent an email to a random email address, just so I could tell someone how I was feeling. It didn't matter who, as long as I got it off my chest. (As it happened, they replied, and were very confused why I was contacting them.)   A few people mentioned earlier about attention seeking. After some reflection, I realised that it's easy to adopt that attitude even subconsciously. When someone, particularly someone you feel you know well enough to have an obligation to help, expresses a serious problem, it can be really challenging to step up and be the support they need. Especially if you're blindsided at two in the morning, and you really don't want to deal with it right now. I think "attention seeking" is a way many people justify not having to deal with the discomfort they feel when confronted with someone's problems.   Pretty much all human beings want the same things- to feel loved, accepted, supported, safe etc. When a person doesn't have access to these, they might (very reasonably) try to reach for it via social media. This doesn't always end well, but there is potential for some of their needs to be met online (especially if they're directed to sites concerned with their mental health and wellbeing). ... View more

The only social media platform I really use is Facebook. Occasionally one of my friends will be going through some hard stuff. I'll give you three examples of the sort of posts I've come across: 1) "I've recently gone through [a challenging experience] and I think I have [this mental illness]." (Later, in the comments section...) "Turns out that [these symptoms] are all common with [this illness]. Now that I know what it is, I'm okay."   2) "I'm so frustrated that [my circumstances are limiting my life choices]. I have trouble imagining a positive future." 3) "I'm so sick of feeling [upset, angry, hurt]. It's so frustrating that my mental health is affecting me so much and preventing me from being happy." In each of these cases, I (and a one or two others) encouraged the poster to get help or talk to a counsellor about what they were going through. They were all reluctant for various reasons. Although their message was public, they didn't seem to be getting a great deal of support (though I'm glad that I was at least able to be there in these three instances). But I wonder why, with hundreds of people on their friends lists, not more people expressed concern. Perhaps the message wasn't showing up on their newsfeeds, the post was late at night or they just didn't want to get involved. As to other ways they might be approached... I really wish that everyone had a friend or organisation (like ReachOut, for example) to comment on such messages and just let them know help is out there. I've started making more recommendations to ReachOut, but as one person I can only do so much! I think changing the collective attitude of people is what's needed here. I'd love to see a post where someone says "I'm struggling" and dozens of friends comment expressing support and with ideas for help. ... View more

MM, it is so incredibly awesome that you have colouring-in on standby. I'm particularly grateful that we're free to leave the conversation whenever we need. I was feeling pretty drained and I didn't want to do this thread injustice, so I got out some manga (One Piece) to read between posts. Awesomesauce. ... View more

Hey Lauren! I'm here too! I'm a member of the youth brains trust for the Young and Well CRC as well. Good times about to roll! ... View more