Really proud of the chat here - very deep topic to dive into and I'm proud of everyone for being up to this level of self reflection
What is identity? Where does our sense of self come from?
Big question! I think identity and sense of self are influenced by a number of things. Your childhood/family, where you grew up, your unique traits/talents, your style, the kind of people you like, the way you see the world - which in turn impacts how you see yourself. Your experiences as you go through life also shape your sense of self.
My sense of self comes from my upbringing, being a person of colour, being queer, being a caring person and the things that make me happy - music, travel, community.
- How can someone explore or connect more deeply with their identity?
This probably looks different for everyone - I'd say don't be scared to explore your identity. It can feel very overwhelming but don't be scared to learn about yourself and why you are the way you are.
Also - it helps to have some solid people around you who will lift you up and remind you of your amazing qualities when times are tough.
- How would you describe yourself? What elements of your identity are important to you?
Ahh, I always find it hard to answer these kinds of questions. It's a good one to think about though.. I would describe myself as very sensitive to peoples feelings, social issues etc.. Someone who has a lot to say and is still working on the best ways of expressing it!
I think being a compassionate person is probably one of the biggest things that have shaped my identity and sense of self, however I am also trying to lean more into other parts of me - like being creative.
- What does self-acceptance look like to you? Have you ever accepted or embraced a part of yourself that you previously disliked or weren't comfortable with? Did you learn anything from this?
Self acceptance is an ongoing thing for me and what I find is that its a multilayered thing. I used to be realllyyy self conscious of my curly hair. It made me want to hide it away because unless I put effort into it, it can get a little out of control haha. Overtime I've come to be okay with it :) Even like it. What helped me was realising that it's actually a trait that lots of my family members have and it now makes me feel connected to my ethnic identity.
- What kinds of things can make us feel good about ourselves? What can make us feel bad about ourselves? How can we feel better after experiencing situations that bring us down?
I feel good about myself when I am being the most authentic version of me. When I'm expressing myself, challenging myself to try new things, when I'm at the beach - to name a few things.
What makes me feel bad about myself is comparing myself to others, that sends me down a rabbit hole! When this happens I just try to tread lightly, not get angry with myself for doing something I know isn't good for me and be mindful to do something nice for myself (like have a bath or call someone)
- What tips would you give to someone struggling with self-acceptance?
My advice would be that it's a very human thing to struggle with self-acceptance - you aren't alone and you will surprise yourself too! When I look back there are lots of things that just aren't an issue for me, that used to be huuuuge hurdles. So, trust that things get better
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