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- About jamijam
jamijam
Builder
since
08-09-2020
23-09-2020
22
Posts
27
Kudos
0
Solutions
23-09-2020
08:52 PM
Hi, I'm not usually one to post these types of messages, I'm usually the person trying to offer others support but I'm not sure what else to do. Kind of ironic I suppose! Anyway, I've been having these dreams about my ex for a few months probably around 3 times a week. He was a very very toxic person both emotionally and mentally, and a lot of my current insecurities stem from this relationship. In the dreams he's often just a person in the background or I see him with someone else (used to flirt/talk to other girls), sometimes he's even trying to work his way back into my life. I don't know why I'm having these dreams but I'd really like them to stop as they bring up some bad memories from how I felt when I was with him. I am in a happy relationship now and my new partner is the complete opposite. He's wonderful and so sweet and kind but I'm experiencing a lot of relationship anxiety. He knows I often experience general/social anxiety and is supportive. But I don't think he knows that I have frequent negative thoughts about myself, our relationship and why he would want to be with me. I feel like I need constant reassurance from him but don't want to ask. And sometimes his behaviour triggers the anxiety if I perceive it to be similar to that of my ex (even though its usually not). Which sometimes ends with me pushing him away. I know I should probably talk to him about this, but I'm scared he wont understand or that he'll think I'm not over my ex when I have no desire to contact him whatsoever. So I'm not sure what to do. I don't want my anxiety to come between us. I'm thinking maybe I have some form of PTSD? But I'm not really sure. I'd really appreciate some advice. Thanks!
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- Tags:
- anxiety
- relationships
21-09-2020
03:43 PM
1 Kudo
Hey @Sharnaayheey, Welcome to the ReachOut forums! One of the first stages in withdrawing from an unhealthy habit is acknowledging and recognising that it's a problem! So well done, it's incredible that you have identified how drinking is affecting your life. From what you've described, it sounds as though the drinking is making you feel guilty and maybe a little anxious about your behaviour whilst intoxicated? So I'm sorry it's making you feel that way! Perhaps you could talk to your partner about setting a limit on the number of drinks you have each day/week? That way you can both monitor your intake to a point where you are no longer binge drinking. I also know a few people who only go out drinking with a certain amount of cash. They leave their credit card at home so that once they've spent the cash amount they can't keep buying drinks. You could also try that out! I'd also suggest seeking help from a GP/psychologist as @Taylor-RO mentioned! That way you'll be able identify the reason behind your poor drinking habits which will ultimately help to resolve the issue.
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21-09-2020
03:12 PM
2 Kudos
Hey @wanderingwasp, I saw an art therapist when I was younger. From what I remember it was a lot more relaxing than the typical CBT appointments I was used to. I felt there was less pressure, and actually found myself opening up more. If you're interested I say go for it!
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21-09-2020
03:01 PM
Hi @NoEffortIncluded, I'm so so sorry to hear about what's been going on with you and your parents lately . It sounds as if it's stressing you out quite a bit, would that be right? I think a lot of the time parents don't realise how much we need their support especially during our teenage years when we are experiencing many life changes that can have a big impact on us. So I completely understand how hard it must feel being unable to confide in your parents. Do you have any other family members you could talk to? Or perhaps you could set up a meeting with your school counsellor? Even talking to a close friend may relieve some of the stress you are experiencing. It's important to not deal with your struggles on your own. I hope you find this helps you somehow. We are a very supportive community and will aim to help you anyway we can! Your problems are not irrelevant but completely valid
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21-09-2020
02:37 PM
1 Kudo
Hi @lavendertea I just wanted to congratulate you on seeking help! It can be an incredibly difficult task sometimes, so well done! I also really wanted to emphasise that what you're experiencing does in no way make you sound crazy, your experiences are actually rather common and completely legitimate. As @wanderingwasp mentioned, it sounds as though you are experiencing some type of dissociation. However, it is best to verify this with a psychologist as they will be able to provide you with the correct information and assistance on why/how you may be dissociating. Additionally, talking to a professional enables you to understand and further validate your experiences which I've personally found to be a big stress reliever! I hope this helps you to identify what may be going on with you! Usually identifying the problem is the first step to achieving a better state of wellbeing. Feel free to keep us updated on any other experiences/feelings you may be worried about
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21-09-2020
02:02 PM
2 Kudos
Wow I'm so impressed by everyone's suggestions! Great to see so many new and helpful ideas!
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16-09-2020
06:33 PM
2 Kudos
Hi @Hozzles, It sounds as though your pretty stressed out at the moment, would that be correct? Sometimes when our minds are overloaded with high amounts of stress we can experience physical bodily symptoms. Do you think that the jerks, nerve pain or numbness in your hands and feet could be stressed related? Perhaps as a result of your anxiety? I know from my own personal experiences, I have sometimes experienced shooting pains and tingling in my fingers during an anxiety attack. As for the MS, I think its important not to worry until you get a proper diagnosis! I understand this can be extremely difficult especially if you are already feeling anxious but try your best to push the negative thoughts out of your mind! However, if you find it is really affecting your studies, perhaps you could go part-time? This would significantly reduce your work load and you'd have more time to focus on fewer assignments! I went part-time during my honours year due to anxiety issues and it was the best decision I ever made. I hope this helps you somehow! And feel free to keep us updated with any thoughts/feelings
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16-09-2020
06:14 PM
Hi @indieinsanus, I'm a psychology honours student at university and from what I've learnt, childhood trauma can manifest in many different ways from various types of abuse (i.e., physical, emotional, verbal, domestic, etc). So it's definitely possible for people to experience trauma from their own perception of a situation. Especially since as children we are incredibly perceptive as we try to learn and navigate through the world! Ultimately, childhood trauma is a very complex psychological issue and affects different people in different ways. I also noticed you mention feeling guilty; often feelings of guilt can actually be a symptom of anxiety itself. And from what you've described I would definitely recommend seeking professional help, even talking to your local counsellor or GP is worthwhile! I've found GPs particularly resourceful as they can set up a mental health care plan for you and contact a psychologist if you feel like you need to. I hope this helped you in some way, and I'm sorry to hear about how you're feeling right now Feel free to update us on your thoughts/feelings in the future!
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16-09-2020
04:44 PM
Hey @lpdkojnkbhsc I just thought I'd check in to see how you're doing? It seems like a very awkward and distressing situation, so I hope things have improved for you. In cases such as yours it can be incredibly difficult to resist peer pressure, so well done for standing your ground and leaving when you no longer felt comfortable. From what you've described, it sounds like your friend wasn't really acting like a friend. So I completely understand why you got angry at her. Perhaps you could speak to another close friend or your partner? They might be able to help just by listening to you. I know that when I've confided in a friend I feel a lot more relieved as if the weight of the problem has lifted from my shoulders. Remember: What is best for you is all that matters, stay safe and stay strong!
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11-09-2020
04:56 PM
2 Kudos
I'm proud that I went for a 30 minute run today even though I really really didn't want to!
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11-09-2020
04:52 PM
1 Kudo
1. Went for a 3.5km run this afternoon 2. Practiced self-care by doing a hair mask 3. Caught up on all my psychology lectures!
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11-09-2020
04:50 PM
Taylor Swift's folklore album, I find it so beautiful and calming!
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10-09-2020
02:27 PM
Hey @Snowy_Triangle, Just like you I am also struggling to deal with the loneliness that Stage 4 restrictions have enforced. It's definitely not easy! However, I recently joined the headspace Youth Advisory Group in my area and have since felt a lot better. Although our weekly catch-ups at the moment are over Zoom its nice having people who care enough to ask how I'm doing. It's really helped to put me in a better mind set and feel less lonely. There are many headspace centres located around Melbourne so I'm positive you'll find one close to you if you're interested! I hope this helps you in some way or another!
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10-09-2020
02:13 PM
Hi @xraychick, I'm also new to ReachOut! Sorry to hear about your recent mental health struggles! But it's so great that you've acknowledged it and are seeking help. So well done, I'm very proud of you! I think "normal exercise" is different for everyone. It all just depends on what makes you feel good and healthy. For me, I like to spend 20 minutes every other day going for a walk. On days when I'm feeling particularly motivated I might for a 30 minute run, it really just depends on my mood as i sometimes struggle to get my body moving. I hope this helps you in some way, try not to put too much pressure on yourself and you'll find what suits yourself best. It's important to remember that exercise isn't just about losing weight, but its also a way to take care of your wellbeing and mentality.
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10-09-2020
02:03 PM
Hi @Tiny_leaf It's good to hear that you have recognised that you need additional help caring for yourself! It's not always easy to come to terms with such a thing. I just wanted to jump in and ask how your feelings? And whether things with your parents have improved at all? I understand how difficult this situation must be for you, perhaps you could even speak to a GP and they might be able to provide with some helpful resources. I've found GPs to be very supportive in the past.
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09-09-2020
04:54 PM
3 Kudos
Thanks for the cool ideas @Guitarman97! I think its very important to try and find the positives of lockdown, also gives us something to look forward to once restrictions finally ease. Learning new skills is also a good way to pass the time. I've taken up baking which I'm not amazing at but I'm learning, plus the extra snacks are always good!
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09-09-2020
04:41 PM
3 Kudos
Thanks Hannah! I've also found walking very helpful. But when I'm particularly stressed I like to do some deep breathing exercises and yoga which I find very relaxing.
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09-09-2020
03:12 PM
Me too @marlee! I'm so excited to be social and do the things I enjoy without restrictions in place.
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09-09-2020
03:03 PM
7 Kudos
Covid-19 and strict lockdown restrictions have in no doubt affected the mental health of several young people. In order to help those who are really struggling, what are some strategies or helpful tips you've used/currently use to help ease the worries and hardships surrounding lockdown?
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09-09-2020
02:54 PM
Hey @catcatchocolate, I just wanted to check in on how you're feeling now? Did you manage to tell someone what you've been experiencing lately? I think its important to remember that your friends and family will not think any less of you for speaking up. In the past, I've had friends come to me with struggles similar to your own and I was more than happy to help. I did not judge or pity them but was proud of them for being brave enough to talk to me. I'm sure your parents and friends will respond in the same way!
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08-09-2020
05:31 PM
3 Kudos
Today I practiced self care by taking part in a yoga flow and going for a walk. Helps to take my mind of lockdown and covid-19.
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My Recent High Fives Received
| Subject | High Fives | Posted |
|---|---|---|
| 2 | 21-09-2020 02:02 PM | |
| 1 | 21-09-2020 02:37 PM | |
| 2 | 21-09-2020 03:12 PM | |
| 1 | 21-09-2020 03:43 PM | |
| 2 | 16-09-2020 06:33 PM |
My Recent High Fives Given
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| Date Registered | 08-09-2020 05:26 PM |
| Date Last Visited | 23-09-2020 11:14 PM |
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