@GioDes Thank you so much for the support! Things are going okay, it was my birthday last weekend so it felt nice to be surrounded by family for a little bit, especially at a time when I feel really lonely, and depressed. I'm starting my first full time job next week, I was doing it part time up till now so things have been a little bit intense at the moment, but I welcome the distraction. I feel like the more I wallow in my emotions  and the more time I have to think about them the worse they become.    If I'm being completely honest my ex and I started talking again yesterday. He sent me a birthday present so I sent a message to say thank you and our conversation has just kept going. I know I have to stop talking to him again at some point, but I'm just struggling to as it feels so nice and familiar like old times and tends to remind me of the good parts of our relationship while ignoring the bad.        ... View more

Thanks @Janine-RO it definitely has been emotionally exhausting and draining. I think sometimes I forget it's a process and think I should just be fully healed already. So it's hard to allow myself those sad moments where I miss it and grieve. I think the fact that we were still talking definitely did not help the healing process, not talking to him is probably the hardest thing I've ever done, it feels like losing a boyfriend and best friend all in one. I get very lonely and miss his company a lot. I'm really going to try distancing myself from him though as I know there's an unhealthy attachment there at the moment.  I've found this thread very helpful as I find it hard opening up to others and I appreciate the advice so much.    As for my self-care nothing specific. I'm still trying to establish a self-care routine I suppose. I try different things here and there; meditating, painting or journaling every once in a while, occasionally walking, reading is a big one for me. There's nothing particular I do on a daily or weekly basis, my motivation has been very low and depression very high so its hard to get in that self-care mindset.  ... View more

Hey @James99 I've never thought of that before but it's a brilliant idea. I do suffer from a lot of anxiety, especially lately so that's definitely worth trying.   Thank you for the list of activities, I've been feeling very depressed and lonely so when I'm not working I'll give them a go! Hopefully they can cheer me up   ... View more

@Bre-RO Thank you so much! I definitely struggled in my relationship with my ex meeting my emotional needs and still am now, but I'm just trying to take it one day at a time. Thanks for the advice, it's been hard motivating myself to try new things so far having been in a very fragile and depressed state, but I'll keep at it and hopefully it will get easier with time. Thanks again!      ... View more

Thanks @Hannah-RO I've always struggled with self-esteem and being proud of myself but I'm slowly starting to learn to celebrate accomplishments small and big.   I'm so glad to hear you have a job you're enjoying, the work you do is so awesome and important!    Yay kittens! I'm actually a dog person, but I'm all for people embracing what makes them happy :)  ... View more

@GioDes Thank you so much for saying that! It really was devastating and has taken so much out of me mentally and emotionally. I'm not good at asking for help so this was a big step for me.   What you're saying makes so much sense! I do feel like I became addicted and still am to the relationship dynamic even though it wasn't good for me.  Meeting my emotional needs is something I've always struggled with but I recognise it is necessary for a healthy functioning relationship. Thanks again!      ... View more

@James99  Hey you're so right! I haven't really been going out, I've just been stuck at home feeling very unmotivated to do things. Getting out and a change of scenery would probably do me some good. Thanks! ... View more

@Bella2 @squiggly @James99 @GioDes Thank you all so much for being so welcoming and for your advice, it really means a lot to me.   I completely agree with you all that some time apart is the answer. We've actually tried to stop speaking a number of times, I think the longest we've gone is 2 weeks though. The problem is neither of us tend to open up and talk to other people, so really only confide in each other.    I'm trying to spend some time alone to reflect but I can't help but feel lonely and isolated. Even when I know talking to him is a bad idea that won't end well I still want to. I suppose it's just a very hard habit to break. ... View more

I finally landed a job in the field I studied at university. It was a long road getting there so I'm super proud of myself for that.   This year has had a lot of downsides for me and mentally been very tough, but I managed to pick myself up time and time again. I've been reading a lot of books to change my mentality to a positive and peaceful one and I'm so grateful for them.   The current one I'm reading is called Think like a monk by Jay Shetty, it's fantastic!  ... View more