I get that parents have to set rules, they have to been in control, it's much better long-term for a child than parents that don't try as hard. I've just been wondering if my parents are a little too strict, I'm sure they mean well, I don't doubt that, but I do think they're going over the top. I guess it's been affecting my mental health, and it just adds to the overall stress already present in our home. My Dad isn't around, and my Mum has to take sole responsibility of us. That's really tricky in itself considering there's 14 of us. That would be a struggle to anyone, I really try to put myself in my mother's shoes, and I feel guilty that I hate being controlled so much, because I do understand where she's coming from. However, I just can't handle it anymore. I'm in Year 11, and the workload has increased significantly, nothing I can't handle, given the time and if I apply enough effort. I just have concerns that I won't be able to get my work done in time. I've got a 7pm bedtime, and computers are off a 5pm (school is out at 2:50pm), it just bugs me how literally everyone I know goes to bed at ~10, and it's a little depressing seeing your 6 year old nephew going to bed 2 hours after you. Another thing is that my Mum yells a lot. Yes, I know that parenting can get very stressful at times, and I can admit that I've been a handful at times, but I don't think it's okay to this degree.She'll yell about the fact that we're talking to each other ~7:30pm (where it's pretty much useless to try and sleep, it's impossible), she'll yell about us walking home, she'll yell about tiny things, that didn't warrant anything like that. Even a simple "where does this go?" or a "what is this for?" earns us a "are you fuc*ing stupid?". They're not really good examples, but good enough to get my point across I guess. She'll constantly question what I'm doing on my laptop, and get us to sit at the table where she'll watch our every move. I get that she wants us to improve, but it's almost like exam conditions, where she'll constantly tell us how much time we have left on our laptops before they go away. It's a point of pride of hers that we're not allowed to go on our computers except for schoolwork. I guess it's a little rich to call it "my" laptop, but I don't really "own" anything else, there's virtually no privacy in this house. There's so many things that we can't do that others can. It's not fair to compare families, every family is different, but I'll do it just for the sake of my argument.It's Mum's rules or out of the house. She's made that very clear on multiple occasions. There's never been any wriggle room to try and get some relaxed rules, I constantly feel like I've done something wrong. She threatens to kick me out when I do something as menial as check my emails early before school. That's another one of her rules, no laptops on before school. She'll end up taking my laptop for a week, or more. And with COVID, all our schoolwork has been migrated to digital, no matter how much I tell her I can't just get the teacher to "print out paper copies". It's like she severely distrusts me, which she probably does. I'll admit, I do go against her rules. I'm an excellent liar, and I constantly look for ways around her rules, loopholes and all. I don't think I would need to do any of this if she would just understand where I'm coming from. We often get into long rows about respect and rules, and it's just made me hate those two words even more than I already do. Respect is important, rules are important, but her strictness is driving me up the wall. I don't act kind on occasions, so I probably deserve the punishments. I'm not allowed to own a phone, even though I have my own job. I've offered to pay the bills myself, (which I've always expected). She's drilled into me from a young age that she can't afford phones for all of us, which I completely understand, but even now that I can, it's a no. I've asked for some reasoning, her response is "I'm your mother, I don't have to give you a reason". Which- probably comes down to basic respect, but it still bugs the hell out of me. - I know this is probably becoming a disjointed rant, and I haven't explained things as effectively as I ought to, if you have any further questions, just comment. This post probably sounds devoid of emotion lmao, I just don't want people to think I'm a teenager with typical complaints. I really want to change what's happening here. And sorry about the long post.
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