About gotchi101

gotchi101 · ‎28-12-2013

Hey JJR, Yeah, I think I might just have to try the sock thing. I sure am looking foward until she moves out, then not having a doorknob will really matter too much anymore :P And I do use earphones, I only ever play my music out loud when I'm at home by myself. And just the fact that I listen to different music than everybody else is bad enough to them. Apparently my music is 'dark, emo, meaningless' etc. Although, some songs are a little dark, but only because its trying to convey a message or something. And I'm not the only one who gets it too, my sister's boyfriend gets it too because he likes metal music. Which is pretty ironic because she goes around saying 'everyone can like what they want'. What a hypocrite -.- And to be completey honest, I don't think things will get much better until she moves out. I know she's my sister and all, but I just want her gone so I don't have to be scared virtually everyday of my life and I can actually leave my room without worrying something will go missing etc.

gotchi101 · ‎28-12-2013

Hey Myvo, Well everytime I try to talk to my parents, they always tell me to keep away from her (which I do, but it doesn't really matter cos she just keeps coming to me, stealing my stuff etc.) and that if I didn't slam my door I'd still have a doorknob, even though I don't anymore. She only likes stealing my stuff because I react to it (kinda hard not to when your phone goes 'missing' and your sister has a tendency to take the sim card out..). I guess I should of expected it, I did leave it out in plain sight after all :/ And when I ask my mum if she can help me find my phone, my sister always seems to find it, but only after going into her room first. Yeah, thats not suspicious at allll. And its usually somewhere like 'hidden' in my bed or under the sheets, in the vanity, the linen closet or hiding under a blanket or something. And she always gets away with it too because she makes it sound like I put it there and forgot about it. And I've kinda done something like that, but nothing has worked. I guess I just have to wait it out and hope she moves in with her boyfriend soon. And I haven't found anybody to talk to really, aside from a friend or two, but they don't really know what its like. My mum also said to just wait until she moves out and don't try to get in her way (which I have been, although she's always the one who starts all the fights). And my dad, well, he thinks it's all my fault and never really says much about it. And the stealing isn't even the worst part! As well as being a theif, she's also abusive too. Even though she says that what it is is 'sibling rivalry'. Which it's not, me and my friends all agree on this. She's always been fighting with me, but it turned into abuse around 5 years ago when she realised she could do a lot worse and get away with it. I have been looking around, but everytime I ask my mum if we can go into town to hand my resume in, she always says something like 'its the wrong time of day' or 'they might not have any positions'. Although I only really ever get to go into town about once a week. And all the good jobs are half an hour away and mum said she'd rather me get one in town, which is about 5-10 minutes away which is understandable. Buut, on the upside I finally got an Xbox xD

gotchi101 · ‎01-12-2013

How would you feel if everybody around you was getting everything you've ever wanted? For as long as I can remember, I've only wanted two things: an xbox annd a kitten. And then there's my sister. She wanted a keyboard for about a month, she got one and only used it for a month. My family hasn't got a lot of money, and yet we still can afford to give hundreds of dollars to my sister to go shopping where I'm lucky to get $10 a month.. My sister says I'm a pathetic 4 year old just because when she fights with me, I get upset and because I defend myself when she tries to hurt me. She always seems to get what she wants and I rarely do. She's always complaining about how she never has money and barely has anything, but she has so much more than me. She has a doorknob, a good phone, a good laptop, all these good things.. And then there's me. Everything of mine has been stolen by her at least twice, I have no doorknob all because of her, she wreaked my necklace which I got for my birthday and loved, and there's just so many other things. I have to hide food in my room just so I can take something to school, but then she just comes in and steals it so I'll often have nothing. And my dad won't put my doorknob back on because apparently I keep slamming my door, but its her. I've only done it once this year, all the other times its been her. He won't even tell me how to do it so I can do it myself :( I can't even play my music out loud without getting shit. (Okay, so I used to listen to country, but now I'm into bands like Rise Against and The Amity Affliction etc. which she says is all 'emo and meaningless' which is bullshit because if you've ever heard a Rise Against song, then you'd know none of their songs are meaningless. And everyone else only listens to country, so I'm kinda the outcast in the family. I hate sport, I think country music is depressing, I love gaming and I Oh yeah, and then there's the whole job thing. I've been trying to get a job for the past 4 months with no luck all because she keeps saying things like 'they won't take you because you're too fat' or 'they won't take you if you act like a little bitch all because they told you to do something'. Annd also, nobody really is helping me because everyone else seems to have better things to do. Everytime I print out my resume, it 'magically' rips itself up and somehow travels into my room or on the dinner table which I get blamed for. Heh, and she calls me the pathetic one. But then again, she calls me so many bad names so it doesn't really hurt me as much anymore It just doesn't seem fair to me. "We've all been sorry, We've all been hurt. But how we survive, Is what makes us who we are" -Survive - Rise Against

gotchi101 · ‎29-03-2013

It's sad but true. For a lot of people, home isn't safe at all.. Its actually pretty scary when you think about it.. Anyway, long story short, I have a reallllyyy abusive sister. Well, I know that to some people what I'm going through isn't as bad as what someone else might be going through. It's not easy, its definitely NOT FUN and I guess the mental pain and scars will never go away :( Along with that, I have lots of other issues, but I'm only focusing on this at the moment. Unlike most people my age (I'm 15), I never have friends over. I'm just too scared to. My sister always embarrases me, lies about me and starts fights with me everytime somebody comes over. She even fights with me when she has her boyfriend over. I've been putting up with her shit since I was 10 and it just gets worse and worse. She's told me to kill myself 3 times and told me i should self-harm (not her exact words) multiple times.. Yea, what a great sister I have :( I barely even get to go out because everytime we go out as a 'family', se always fights with me. and its always over the stupidist of things. I spend most of my time in my room (it pretty much feels like the only 'safe' place in the entire house, even though its not really that safe at all) listening to music, talking to friends, watching movies or on this. And because I spend so much time in my room, my mum decided if I don't change my 'attitte' in 4 days, she'll take my phone, ipod, laptop and dvd player off me. And to be completely honest, I don't think that kind of thing can happen in 4 days. Hell, most of the time I'm scared to leave my room because of my sister. And of course, my sister gets to keep everything.. All because of her, I don't even have a doorknob because she broke it and my dad refused to fix it because apparently I keep slamming my door. Well, I admit that I do, but most of the time its my sister slamming the door and blaming it on me. Once again, my sister is just sooooooooooo nice :( So if i don't want my stuff to get taken away, she expects me to stay out of my room pretty much all day and night, but put it this way. You would have more fun in a maths lesson then at my house. There is virtually nothing to do here. Unless you want to stare at a wall for hours on end or read (i know it doesn't sound so bad but I don't really like reading as much as I used to anymore). And of course, if I don't somehow change in 4 days, I'll be spending the rest of my days bored out of my mind while my sister gets to keep everything and knowing her, she'll shove that right into my face. So yeah, I'd really appreciate any help, and I'm pretty sure my friends would too considering the ones I talk to the most know pretty much everything about what im going through.

gotchi101 · ‎06-03-2013

Life just sucks at the moment. But I'm not the only one who feels like this :( Anyway, here's my story of why my life just sucks. It's not very pretty either :/ Anyway, in December last year I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 months.. He lied about trying to kill himself 3 or 4 times and cheated on me. He was the first person I ever loved and he made all that up in an attempt to impress me and to make me worried about him. Yeah, he's a jerk, but somehow I still love him :( He was always there for me when I had nobody else, and now he's all gone. He won't even talk to me, but I don't blame him. Annnnd then there's the issue with my sister. I can sum her up in two words. Immature and abusive. Oh, and she's 17. She's been fighting with me ever since I was ten. Made me believe I did certain things all the time, made my life hell, stole anything and everything I own. And it just gets worse and worse. All because of her, I have next to no privacy in my room. I had a door with a lock on the doorknob which meant so much to me, but she broke that and I haven't gotten a new one ever since. I just have a hole in my door and I try to keep it shut with whatever I can find. I have a toolbox with a lock that i use as a safe. Problem is, it's not enough. It's never enough. And either way if I get my doorknob back, she'll break it again. I wonder what she's going to say then? Last time apparently I left the hair straighter on, or I was locked out of my room when in reality, I was in my room the entire time. She's broken my door twice, left scars, lied, hit me, embarrased me in front of my friends, starts fights in public, she steals my things, breaks my things, pushes things over, the list goes on and on. She starts fights over virtually nothing. She even started a fight over pizza just yesterday. She's the whole reason I started self-harming, but I stopped. Hopefully for good. She calls me a three year old, immature, slut, whore, metal-face (because I have braces), i think she called me canopener once ( I had buck teeth and everyone called me that, hence the bullying for 9 years), bitch, worthless etc. The list just goes on and on. She thinks I'm gothic because I don't like the music she does and because my favourite band is Rise Against. I'm even scared to go to a friends place because I don't want to do something stupid and because I'm scared she'll go through my stuff and steal even more things. And my parents go out to archery for a few hours every Sunday which gives her the perfect opportunity to ruin my day. She even fights with me when she has her boyfriend over and she always makes it seem like its all MY fault when its not. I've tried pretty much everything to try and get it to stop. I've tried talking to her (which is only good for a few hours), staying away from her and trying to like similar things. It just won't work. So yeah, abused for 5 years and bullied for 9. Oh what a pleasant life I have -.-

gotchi101 · ‎11-12-2012

okay, i finally have some good news :D i just got a message from him and he's okay :D and he also said his dad was lying, which didn't really surprise me. Put it this way, I don't really like his dad. But oh well, all that matters to me is that he's okay and that i finally heard from him after a week and a few days >.< i really appreciate all your help and i hope that this helps others that are going through a similar thing :3 hell, not even my sister trying to fight with me can bring me down right now :D

gotchi101 · ‎11-12-2012

Well, nobody ever said long distance relationships were easy :/ Actually, some people think I'm crazy for still being with him, but I don't care. Sure, it would be a lot easier if we were closer, but we can't have everything we want. And I have been listening to music, its just there's so many songs that remind me of him and I've been trying to kinda distract myself from it all. It just feels like a bad nightmare :( And like I've said, I have been talking to a friend about it, and I guess talking to a counsellor would help, I just don't want to tell my family for a few reasons. one, there's no way I would tell my sister because she wouldn't care and she would just use the fact that I'm more depressed than usual to start fights, two, i've only told my friends and nobody else because I can't really trust anybody in my family, and three, everytime I try and talk to my mum, I just don't talk about it, i just change the subject so she doesn't find out. We barely even are a family anymore. And it feels like he's the only good thing in my life right now :( and he's always there for me when I need him, I just feell awful that I can't do that for him now because I can't talk to him for a while which hurts more than anything to me.

gotchi101 · ‎11-12-2012

Yeah, its not very fun at all. And the only thing stopping us from legally being together is the fact we've done things we probably shouldn't of done >.< And his dad is a nice guy, but it just seems like he doesn't really like us being together :/ And that's a great idea, but the problem is that I don't know his address. And I haven't heard anything from him or his dad for a few days so I have absolutely no idea what the hell is going on :(

gotchi101 · ‎07-12-2012

yeah, i have told two of my friends, but i just feel like im making them feel like crap too :( and no i don't, all I know is that he's unconcsious and in hospital and I can't do a damn thing about it :( and i know, there's just another issue. His dad said that he "has been forbidden by the police right now that he can't date out of state OR country people due to previous incidents." which I don't really believe because his dad has said that once before. and even so, its not against the law to date somebody out of the country, unless there's a restraining order in place or something. and he hasn't done anything wrong that i know of. and I know its important to be strong and all that, but without him, well, its really hard for me to be. i feel even worse because i was talking to his dad because I wanted to know if he's okay, but i was just completely numb i guess. i kinda just went along with it because i know his dad wouldn't care if i was upset. But i sent him a reallly long message on meetme (which is the website on which i met him) explaining everything so he won't freak out when he reads his emails.

gotchi101 · ‎07-12-2012

I really need help right now. My boyfriend of four months and eight days (yay for being with him for that long :3) is in hospital after a failed suicide attempted.. The night his dad emailed me telling me that, I just didn't know what to do. I was shaking/crying/feeling really sick for around 4 hours :/ and I wanted to stay up because I was scared if I was going to have yet another nightmare about him. I just don't know what to do.. I would go and see him, but I can't. He lives in South Dakota and I live in Australia. One of the downsides of long distance relationships :( And I feel horrible because he is always here for me when I need him, but I can't be here for him right now... I want to be more than anything, but its impossible. And I can't talk to him like I usually do.. And I'm just so scared because if my sister starts to start a fight with me.. Well, I'm just scared of what I might do.. Everything reminds me of him and how bad I feel because I'm not right beside him like I want to be..

gotchi101 · ‎01-10-2012

i have to agree with you midnight sun. I'm 14 as well and, as a lot of people, have been bullied. I think around 9 or so years. With the campaigns, people don't know what its actually like, and how hard it can be. And sometimes, telling a teacher might make it worse. My school is like that too, they make us fill out this form and then the bully or bullies are supposed to stop. But, that rarely ever happens. Scary thing is, that sounds like exactly what would happen at my school. They pick on the seemingly weak, the ones with flaws, like bad teeth, stutter, sexual orientation, clothes etc. Its horrible and nobody should have to go through that. To be always living in fear of bullies, its no way to live life. I recently found a song to do with suicides from homophobic bullying, and im kinda obsessed with it :P i don't think its like all the other songs about bullying, the message is clear and easily understood.. aannndd its got some awesome guitar in it :) if anyone wants to listen to it, its called 'Make it Stop (September's Children) by Rise Against. I think there should be more info about it. Sure, most people have been through it and know just how bad it is, but some people dont. Maybe they mind find out about it and realise what they're doing. I believe bullying can't be stopped completely, but it can be reduced. I guess after a while you learn to ignore it. Sure, it still hurts a lot, but you just pretend to.. Hide it I suppose. Keep other's from noticing what they did or said hurt. And often its hard to trust anybody when your being bullied, i couldn't even trust my favourite teacher because i was so scared that if i told anybody, the bullies would find out. I just wish it would end. I wouldn't wish what I'm going through on my worst enemy. And yeah, I've been some really hard stuff, and somethings don't go away in a instant, even though we'd love it. Life is hard, and some people say that bullying is a completely normal part of school life. And when people say that, well, I get reallllyy annoyed. Its not normal, and its not fun at all.

gotchi101 · ‎10-09-2012

thank you everybody for the help, and i'm really happy to give you all some great news :D It turns out the hospital made a mistake, he's not going to die. He told me that his upper half of his skeleton is messed up, but all they need to do is pop it into place. And we're just going just fine, that whole incident just brought us closer i guess :3 Its such a good feeling to know he's not going to die anytime soon, its just like a huge burden has been lifted off me :D

gotchi101 · ‎06-09-2012

Its just so hard.. I've been crying for around 2 hours now.. i dont want to lose him. It seems like everything in my life is all dark and gloomy, and then there's him, all bright and colourful, if you get what i mean. he hasn't told me whats wrong with him, he probably doesn't want me to get upset again.. its so hard to be positive, it feels like my whole world has just tumbled to the ground.. I just wish that a miracle would happen so he doesn't.. Die.. i know that death is a normal part of life, but he's only 15.. its too young.. too young to die.. I don't want to lose him..

gotchi101 · ‎06-09-2012

I just found out that my boyfriend, who i love, only has 3 weeks to a month to live.. Its a long distance relationship, but i trust him completely. And when he told me.. I just broke down.. I didn't know what else to do. I can't lose him.. I need help getting through this, and hopefully i'll be able to help him.. its like my worst nightmare coming to life.. One of the few good things in my life, gone. I've never seen him before, only pictures. But its all I need. Sure, it would be amazing if i saw him, but he lives so far away.. He means so much to me, he's always there when i need him the most, even staying up late just so he can make sure im okay. It just feels so unfair, he's the nicest, sweetest and kindest person i know, and i might lose him.. So if anybody knows anything that could help us, please tell me. it means to world to me. And if the time comes where he's gone.. I'll need even more help than I've ever needed before..

gotchi101 · ‎14-08-2012

it really sucks to get bullied, as i should know.. The second I stepped into primary school, I've been bullied. And if you saw me, you'd understand why. I have a 9mm gap between my two front teeth. Thats the only thing wrong with me. I know people say things behind my back, and i guess I've kind of gotten over it. But i still get called horrible names, like 'can-opener' and 'hilbily'. And I'm in year 9 now.. So in other words, 9 years of torture, and 4 of hell.. I also get shit from my 'loving' sister. She's the worst bully I've ever been forced to know. She abuses me, and thinks its okay. I have a scar on my arm from her from when she dug her nails into my arm.. I told my mum it was my cat, missy.. She wouldn't of believed me anyway. Because of the bullies, I've suffered so much for someone my age. Its horrible, I get so scared that I hide in my room and pretend to be sick so i don't have to go to school. My mum has no idea how bad it really is.. I pretend im okay, but really, im anything but okay. I barely even get to talk to my parents any more.. And barely anybody ever talks to me anymore. I miss being able to talk to someone all the time :\ I pretend to be happy, I put the masks up, layer by layer, hoping that everybody is fooled.. The worst thing is, its working.. I'm going to get braces now :3 but i'm so scared that the names will get worse.. Its so scary.. But I guess there are people out there that have it much worse... I've let the bullies pretty much rule my life. I'd do anything to escape the torment. I can't even remember the last time I was truly happy.. Yeah, I'm one messed up girl.. I just wish that this could end. I'm sick of being abused and bullied.. But I'm too scared to do anything about it. It would mean the world to me if someone could help me with this.. There's no way anybody could go through that alone. Wait, no. There's no way anyone who has been bullied or abused could face it by themselves.

Date Registered	‎14-08-2012 05:09 PM
Date Last Visited	‎28-12-2013 07:17 PM
Total Messages Posted	15
Total High Fives Received	3

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Date Last Visited	‎28-12-2013 07:17 PM

Re: It's just not fair..

Re: It's just not fair..

It's just not fair..

home isn't always a safe place..

Hard times getting even harder.

Re: I don't know what to do..

Re: I don't know what to do..

Re: I don't know what to do..

Re: I don't know what to do..

I don't know what to do..

Re: BULLYING.

Re: devestated..

Re: devestated..

devestated..

Re: Bullying

Re: I don't know what to do..

Re: BULLYING.

Re: Bullying

BULLYING.