So my anxiety is still taking its toll on my body and play games with my mind. But at least now i know what is going to happen and how best to aproach getting better.    Headspace where really nice, they were a bit dissapointed in the way i was handled at community mental health. I see the doctor at Headspace she is very nice and welcomeing. She had decided because nobody else wants to take on my case they will. So she will see me every 2 weeks and she has written up a care plan for me, i am yet to know what that care plan is i think i see a psygologist or something she did mention that. I just hope this is the last of it ive felt like a ping pong ball gettin batter around all while im trying to deal with the change that have happened in my head.    I just have to try and keep up with my exercise.....i went for a walk today and i havnt been for like 2 weeks so that a good thing, but i still feel horrible. Whilst im walking i feel kind of ok but it hasnt lasted very long. At least i went!  ... View more

I guess i should have put more background i am currently on medication called orlanzapine at the moment to help with some other issues that i had going on for awhile and not feeling like myself and always feel like i was fighting other people in my head. I had anxiety then but they said this medication should help calm me down, and i think it did for awhile because it wasn't as intense. I do still get out of bed because i know i have to fight it because if i don't i will bed up living my life in bed like i did back in 2009. As much as that is the life i want right now because i do no want to face anything at all, i know deep down its not normal for me to live my life this way. I am due to go back to my local headspace this week, she sent me off for a psychiatric assessment before they wanted to handle my case i guess. I try and exercise every day of the week or at least 2 hours because i helps with my head, i managed 3 days last week. I still attended the 2 days that i am sure to go to TAFE, Its just the anxiety destroys things so i can not enjoy them. I'm trying to win the battle against the anxiety but it seems to be stronger than me at them moment. I just have to find a happy medium. thank you so much for all your suggestions and support i greatly appreciate them!!!! <3 ... View more

Thanks for all that information i will cheek it out when i get a bit more time on the computer. Shopping last night wasn't as bad as it could of been the shop were very quiet i am so glad we have 9pm trade here!!! I try my breathing and sometimes it just does not work no matter how hard i try, and other times it works like a treat but i can never pick if its going to work or not. I'm starting to dread going out at all... i need to fight this as i need to continue with my life and study but it seems each day it gets harder for me to fight and more and more of me just want to stay home in bed away from the world =\. ... View more

Thanks MM   my experience was great with headspace everybody was really friendly to me and very kind about my anxiety as it was very very high when I got there.    The doctor was so friendly and kind to me I couldn't believe it, she has organized a  referral for me to see a psychiatrist for now and then once my medication has been settled and organized headspace will then pick me up and send me to a normal psychologist.    I had a really positive experience and felt very welcomed and safe there. I am glad I went, no matter how bad my anxiety was for the day in the end it was all worth it. I would highly recommend them to my friends or anybody who needed them. ... View more

So after yesterdays  phone to to headspace from my KHL worker, Headspace called me and arranged an appointment for today at 2-2.30 with a doctor and then from 2.30-3.30 with a lady that i will be seeing  from there i think.    I am glad i know whats going on now and what headspace need/want I am ver nervous and scared about these appointments but i know its going to be for the best intrest to tell them everything i can and be as open as possible with them no matter how scared i become. Being honost is the key , it just hard is all! im scared what they will think and that they may not understand me when i express these things are not comeing from me =\.   I will just hope for the best =) thanks for all you support and kind word to help get me though this. <3 ... View more

Dear Brain   Please be quiet for at least a few days i need to get some study done and not sit there listing to you all talk! I would greatly appreciate it if this would be a possiblity in the future say the next few days. I need to finish this unit for tafe so please get motivation for study also thanks =)   ... View more

Thanks for that information i will def keep it in the back of my mind if i need it.    Today hasn't been as intense so im thankful for that so far. My KHL worker has be such a great support though this she even called headspace for me and then called me back to let me know what was going on and hopefuly they will call me at some stage today. Hopefuly by the end of the week i will have a bit more of an idea about whats going on inside my head and how they can best supprt me to gettin healthy again.    thank you so much for you time and replys with advice i truely appreciate it. ... View more

Thank you inspireAll for those websites that I am able to just click on and find some more information out =) its a great help!    As for how I am feeling I am super tied today yesterday was a long day the tears started whilst talking to the lady on KHL and they seemed to be on and off all day after that. I am however not feeling as bad a I was yesterday I am feeling a little better and definitely a lot stronger than yesterday so that a good plus I guess =)   Are you aloud to use eheadspace? If you actually waiting for the local headrace office to get back to you?? Im not so sure as I am waiting for Perth to get back to me. Hopefully it will not be to much longer now   thank you all so much for you input and idea's I truly appreciate them. ... View more

I do have relaxation things that i use to help me when they are at a stage where they work.    I'm trying my best to do all i can for myself yet it still isnt enough. And it is true people are over it my partner told me the only reason he asked me to move with his is because his daughter wants us together not apart. So really all he is doing is for his daugther. That makes me sand he no longer wants to be with me because of me, its for other reasons.   I'm still struggling its getting harder everyday i feel if i start the tears they wont stop. Even the real me amonst all this its begin to become sad and feel like giving up, I can NOT have them all on the one page because it will be just to risky for me.    As for calling i find it extreamly hard to call people when i need help, I guess if it gets to bad i will call but i find it so hard to make that actual step. Becuase the words will prob fail me again, I'm going to try and talk to the ladt i speak with on KHL today and see if this can help hold me together for the next few days i guess.   All  i can do is try my best but that just isnt seeming good enough right now ='(   sorry to be such  a downer and everything......Sigh......... ... View more

unfortinatly when my partners dad came over, i just felt more dissconected from the wold more than i already did today. Im living this life but im not acually in it, im not sure if this makes any sense but im at my wits end. Im trying to stay storng and hold it together. Im trying not to show other the way i react and feel out in public becuase they are already sick of my behavious.    Im trying my best i just feel its not going to be good enough =(    sorry to keep whining and complaning i just am lost. ... View more

Maybe i should just keep writing but it became distressing to me because i couldnt understand what i wote down and it just confuse me even more because i was acually trying to write something out that made sense.   Today has been hard. I ad to go out. I have seriously had enough of people. and i am about to have to cook a roast dinner for 4. Im am exhausted and its not even late afternoon. I don' want to have a house full of people i just want to be alone. ... View more

If only i could draw- then that would be a great option for me but i am hopless with a drawing!  the words use to flow out so eary i use to write all the time,  but there is just so much crowding going on that i can not write becuase my sentences are all jumbled and make no sence what so ever =(   Things have been rough last night was really hard, i had to take my medication at like 8.30 because my head was becomeing so unsettled. It frustrating to have to rely on medication to help calm my head =(.   I just need to remind myself i am trying my best and that is all i can ask of myself.    thanks for the replys and time. ... View more

thanks for your responses. Im glad to know that i am not as alone as i think in  all of this.   Headspace is ment to be the best place as aparantly they are a one stop shop for younge people. I did have a appointment last week but once they had heard back from Community mental health they changed my worker who is sick at the moment so im just waiting. i don't mind as long as i know whats going on. Plans changing on me in the last minute or at all cause a lot of anxiety and distress at the moment.  I am glad that community mental health rang them as they would have given them a run down of whats been going on so that will help me.    I think about writing it down but the words just don't flow because everyone just shots and carrys on over each other its mental! But i guess i just have to try my best its all i can ask of myself.   im just getting really tied of this fight always.Im back to the doctors today maybe she will be able to help me a little bit more until i am finally able to see headspace. ... View more

Each of us are angel with only one wing, Its only when we embracing another that we learn to fly.    I got told this y a very beautiful lady when i was in a horrible dark place a good few years ago! I remeber it to this day and will hold it dear to me and i just got this tattoed on my back to remind me not to be afraid to reach for help. ... View more

I am sorry things have been so tough with your mum. I can inagin how hard that is for you. Especially when she isnt say very nice things to you. YOU have done well you took the steps to move out and take care of YOUSELF. that is a huge step.   I am sorry i do not have much to offer i just wanted you to know i was thinking of you! and sending you support! ... View more

WOW thank you all so much for being so understanding at this time.   I just felt ineeded to let everybody know how much i apreciate the advice and support i have recieved. And at the moment i am unable to provide the same thing back so i just though this would be the best way to show my appreciation. And i am holding on to the fact that once things have calmed down for me i may be able to help others or at least just let them know there is somebody who will be thinking of them i guess.....   Thank you so much for the links i will cheek them out when i get a bit more time on the computer.   thank you thank you thank you! ... View more

So yesterday was very confronting for me it was a room with 3 chairs a phone and a panic button for the workers.    I had to tell them basicaly whats been going on recently. It was really hard i didn't know these people from a bar of soap! But i did the best i could and hopefuly i was able to spit out most of what needed to be said.    They were bot quiet nice and basicaly on the man spoke but she mentioned a few things.    The verdict is they are just an assessment team and they asses what needs to be done now they said they think i need more psycological help and they will go back to their team and discuss what they think the best plan of action is. Im not sure if they are going to get in contact  with me about this or weather it be my doctor. SO i may find out monday but i also may find out today i don't have clue at the minuite.    I just need to take this as it comes  i guess im doing it for all the right reason thats just what i need to keep telling myself because its hard. I feel like im getting the others in touble for things they havnt yet done but they may do.    anways thats the lates thanks for you concerns =) x ... View more

Well i never knew that! why didnt she just tell me that though when i asked her? she just said it was because it helps them to know what part of the brain to look at.   Anways Community mental health rang me today..........I have an appointment at 2oclock with them. IT all happened so fast i was expecting to wait at least a week! There is going to be 2 people in the room. 1 man named Ben and 1 lady named Edwina.   I do not know these people from a bar of soap and they expect me to go and tell them whats going on? Im not sure how im going to get though this appointment. I am going to be by myself my parter is at work and will not be able to make it home on time. I am terrafied right now!    I can not begin to express how frightned i am about all this i wasnt expecting it all to happen so fast i though that it would be a slow ongoing process. Im scared.   I need to remind myself i am doing this for the best reason to help myself get better.   i have no idea how i will make it though this i just have to hope i will be ok!!!!!!!!! ... View more

Hey benny!   Im not so sure i trust this CT scan.......i read the form that i have to hand to them when i go and it says ?psycosis. How is that cheeking for physical causes?   i guess i will need to bring this up with her tomorrow, if i am able to stay focused when i am there.   Thanks for you concern.     ... View more

She was nice enough to acually call my doctor for me and give her a run down om how things have been for me recently. So that was super nice of her a KHL for letting her do  that. She was even kind enough to call me back after she had spoken to my doctor so i knew what was said and what the outcome would be.   I went to see my doctor today. The outcome is she is going to call the compunity mental health place today and talk with them to try and get me a pshycitriast to see with them or something.  She also has given me 2 tablet/wafer thingys for the night to take called olanzapine im not sure if i will be staying on the medication or not she said she wish to speak with the mental heath workers. I have to go back to my doctors tomorrow. She also wants to get a brain scan to make sure its nothing physical.   Its all so much so fast im a bit overwhelmed but i will just take this all as it comes i guess.   Thanks so much for everything. ... View more

Hey JAY-DEE    I plan to tell my doctor soon. I am talking about ways to tell her with my KHL worker today because its been horrid while ive been away but its also been fantastic.    I have had some sleep while i have been away so that has helped....but there is a new problem i have somebody in my space and i can not relax into myself now i am back its not cool.    I just hope all goes well. thanks for your time.  ... View more

It's not just sleep i am missing out on. It almost everyday my body and brain go into overdrive.  I tried these relaxation tips and they worked semi ok. I mean i got more sleep than i have in the last week but it was still broken and each time i woke up i had to do it again to put myself back to sleep.  The Progessive muscle relaxation was the best one so far for me. I try and exercise atleast 2 hrs a day ( soft walking) so thats ment to help me.    Yesterday i ened up having to medicate myself because i was so unsettled and my partner has had enough. He said when we get back he want to give me a stint in a hospital, but i think he was just sayin that to see if ill snap out of it or atleast i hope thats what his plans where. I also had one before i went to sleep so that i could finally get a semi decent night sleep and i did i only woke up twice, But i am feeling groggy this morning and i have so much to do before out plane leaves tonight.    I don't want to go on holidays i want to stay right here but i can not='(   I will take these relaxation tips away with me in hopes they help. I am gettin more nrevous and scared about my holiday and being in an unfamiliar environment where i tend to not have as much control as i wish. I guess ill just have to see how it goes!!!!   Thank you so much for all yout time and support. ... View more

Thank you so so so much for all of these! I am going to read them now and try them and see what works best so that i can hopefuly get a nice sleep tonight.   It is rough well atleast it feels rough to me. Anxiety and being paranoid are not fun and not at this intense leves i am getting now. Its really taking it toll on my body i am so tied. So much is happing in such a small time its crazy!   I am so glad i found this webpage!!! I think my best plan is to try all of those relaxation suggestions because im in such overdrive!!!!   thank you yet again it means a lot! ... View more

Hey fosterthepeople   Im so overwhelmed at the respones, i really wasnt expecting this! So thank you so much!   I dont have many friend acually i have one friend, and i will not share with her its not that kind of friendship.   I have spoken to KHL before and there is a lady i speak to, they are acually very nice and it can help! She wants me to call her today or this week when she is on but i will see how i feel because today so far hasnt been so bad.   Thanks for the warm welcome.   (sorry didnt realise that when i hit reply to each it went down the bottom)   So as for that story i had a quick look on my phone, and will have another look now. But it seemed to ring quiet true to me. Although i know others can not hear whats going on. So its not like im 'hearing' things.   As for other stresses there are plently about to happen and im trying my best to deal with them all. But its hard. The massive thing is my partners daughter will be living with us as on tueday next week!   As for how i am feeling. Today its still around, he is not so loud or strong today. I am still extreamly tense and adgitated. I am still unsettled but its not as bad as yesterday today i am atleast doing  things and out of my bed.   My partner because frightened last night beause of my mood, but hopefuly i talked him out of worrying. He also mention that when his daughter is here he and her will live somewere and i can stay here becuase im gettin so stressed out. But i feel thats backwards in our relationship and ill loose him if we do that.   Anyways all in all i tried to speak to my doctor on monday but i shut myself down like i tend to do.    Im still scared of myself but its not as strong today lets just hope i can keep it this way for the next few days.     Thank you all so much for you kind words and support right now it means a lot! ... View more

Hey Michine   Thank so much for your reply!    I have tried to comunicate with other but i still cant get it out somehow. I try my best and i guess i get a bit better each time.   I acually have/ do talk to a lady on KHL and she has asked me to contact her today or sometimes this week when she is working. I will see how it goes i guess.   Thank you so much for taking the time out to respond to me! ... View more