im proud that i help a friend in need and that i might be geeting my first job!  ... View more

i just got i message from her! shes doing better *breaths out*    that would be amazing. i dont always trust my own brain when im tired or stressd so other opions and soures of infomation would be really awesome! ... View more

thank you so much *internet hug* its hard to rember that i matter when faced by somthing this huge.    its more adjusting my views and coming to terms withit. i guess i nver thought that i could have a personality dioreder. thats i thing that happens to other people, not me. and also tryin to figure out what exactly it means  ... View more

thank! im doingh my best.   and yeah i do. its reaaly scary to go from a disorder to a personality disoreder and im not quite sure what it means and its kinda hit me me in the face ... View more

im feeling betterish. i got some hard news today speficaly that i dont have OCD but insted i have OCPD so im still slightly out of it. i havent got in touch with her today yet but ill let you know the second i do. i really hoping shes safe and calm.  ... View more

i might do that soon but for some stupid reason my brain doesnt want me to do that. if anyone one know how to help uncontalable shivering that would be great  ... View more

its just so scary cause im useing the same arguments to tell her shes worth it that ive used on my self and other friends. im trying not to have a panic attack. alos ill be foreced to get off line soon and i need contact with you guys rigth now and im scared and barly cohernt im sorry  ... View more

she is a close internet friend who i talk to over fb. she has the suicide help line and self harm number i made sure to send her that. im slightly calmer now cause she sent me another message but im still really scared. she has good and bad days but i can normaly talk her round but today just felt differnt and she was talking about really scary things inculdeing killing herself and i jsut dont know how to be there. ive alredy lost someone to sucide and refuse to lose her  ... View more

actully im gonna join today. someone let me know exactly what im doing?   ... View more

sorry havent been active. im gonna sit out tonight, im in a very pessamistic mood and have not been doing well. ill hopefully be ablle to join in soon, most likly wednesday.    ... View more

oh thats awesome! i get that now! ... View more

mum confiscated my phone so ill have to wait :(. i really wanted to join in :( :(  ... View more

at the moment im fine. ii havent misplaced anything recently. and it switches alot. like i could lose a pen and cry my eyes out and i could lose my phone with all my writing on it and not care at all. or the other way round. or i cry over both. or none. but which ever it is, its an extream emotion. like nooooooo the world is over or meh devil may care zero f**ks given. uhgggggg i hat emy brain ... View more

one of the reason i continued SH after i started was taught myself, pain is bad if i do something wrong i cause myself pain. therefore i will associate pain with the wrong thing teaching me to stop.only problem here was i got addiceted to pain. i use the same pricible with my overeating. i hate my fat and food makes me fat, therefore food makes me hate myself teaching me to curb my eating. im not sure if this is SH but i use the same pricable in my thinking. if someone is angry or upsaet with me i respond with anger. i either get angry at them or me. and i have taught myself that if i blame myself and convinece me that it was my fault, i wont react outwardly reducing conflict. it make everything so much easier. i have mentalyt taugth myself so many things, i would say but you guys dont wanna hear me complaim, and i hide behind these and its almost like i dont wanna come out from behind them. if i really let anyone in, they would probaly write me off as a lost cause. i also really want to take medication to make day to day easier but apperntly im *too smart* and can *learn it* which pisses me off.  i know all of this is flawed but when your as fu*ked up as i am, you pretty much go for anything that can can make any easier to adviod the world  ... View more

im doing okay at best. mums asked recently why i wanted to wear short and i think shes kinda supisios but i just told half the truth. at the moment im sinking but its amazing how many people can be fooled by a smile. thank you for that. sometimes it hard to remember im alowed to be nice to me as well  ... View more

I'm not sure I can tell her yet, because at the moment we are trying to work though a funding programs for me and we are doing our best to avoid any tension. We had another argument only today😞. I'm definitely going to use that fact sheet thank you so much! I see nothing wrong with wearing shorts indoors and intend to do so. I believe my self confidence and comfort is more important than my mum's anger or opinion. Whenever I challenge or have to broach a serious subject with my mum, I'm mostly focusing on trying not to show emotions and to not let her stop me from showing my opinion. She's normally pretty good after I manage to communicate but my communication isn't 100%. Also due to a couple issues I struggle to read body language and expressions. I also don't understand when to leave a issue alone and don't stop. I'm pretty sure that we aren't going to swim this time tho. Also, my mum is the only thing keeping me clean. The thought of her questioning me is the only reason I haven't relapsed. (I'm about a month clean). This is scary because I don't see a risk in self harm. I'm medially trained and know how to prevent and treat infection. The likelihood of permanent damage is very slim. This is bad because I won't and don't see a reason to stop. Uhhhgggg being me is hard ... View more

hey. so far we havent gone swiming yet. im hoping that the surf will stay flat enough that we can stay outside and i can wear a wet suit. its just that my mum is scared of SH. i dig my nails into my forearm which she knows about. and whenever i do it, shes more angry and disapointed than concernd for me. so if she sees my thigh she will deffinatly take me to the hospital and ask questions i cant awnswer. im just not sure how i can hide them for ever. im not ashamed of them and i dont care if the world sees. they are the marks of the wars i fought and show that im still here to fight those wars. i jsut dont know how to tell my parents that. ... View more

Hey! @RubyTuesday19. You sound like me! I have a under cut, I hardly ever take off my docs and I love death metal and screamo. I'm not your typical girl. I also struggle with self harm. I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone. You are never alone. Keep smiling! ... View more

Hey @Kit Kat. I just wanted to reach out as a fellow arachnophobic. I'm no where near a severe as you, but spiders cause me severe panic and distress. I wanted to let you know your not alone and your phobia is most definitely not trivial or silly. You are a strong, brilliant person and you got this. Keep smiling! ... View more

Yeah I'll definitely talk to her (my psychologist) I'd love to join with that thread, I'll install the app soon. I always love it when I get to read a response from you guys. Getting a email alert is one of the few things that makes me smile every time. I'm not entirely sure what mindfulness is but I'll give it a try ... View more

you guy are actully the only ones who know about this. im kinda embarrsed to tell people....  ... View more

im not 100% sure. it just a really strong feeling of lose and attachment. its not alway regular but i im not sure if its linked to times of stress but ill check. also, if i put down my glasses on desk at school, and walk like two meter aways and already im really anxious and start to freak out and i need to check them. repeately. i cant even feel confident with my wallet in a zipped pocket in my bag that is on my shoulder. its really anoying.  ... View more

at the moment all i can do, is try really hard to resist. i just do my my best to stay calm and not given and just wait for it to pass. i also do my best to distract myslef with a object or talking to someone. its exausting and i hate it. im currently working to convince my phsycologist (cant spell sorry) to allow me to take medacation for my angxity. i mostly recharge with music. you hardly ever see me with out headphones. im also a rockclimber and have been for 5/6 years. i love it! this sport has earned me the nickname brickwall XD. if its okay, i might share a piece of writing i did, lables.  ... View more

thanks, im really glad i was able too. its taken off a lot of stress. i would love to share some of my stuff. where should make that thread?    with OCD im very luck to only be mild. but my OCD manifests in buttons, doors and very particular ordering. for example, I ride a bike to school and take a lift so i dont have to carry my bike up the stairs. so once on the lift, i must hold the door open button till everyone is on, even though i KNOW the sensor wont let door closes. then, i press the door up button so it beeps twice, or else i feel i need to ride the lift again or something terible will happen.i also feel like i must press the button more than once.  In my rational thoughts i know nothing is going to happen, but that dosent help. when ordering a table or a stack of books, it must be in decreasing size order. this also occours when i wash the dishes. prior to washing i must order like with like or i am deeply uncomfortable. if the clock is a time such as 3:33, or 5:55 i stare at the clock till it changes. if i dont do this i am on edge for quite a while. if im stressing, i will often randomly organize things in size order. i could go on and on. at the momnet, im working very hard to not give into certain behaviours and hoping to learn my way out. its exausting. it really frustating  ... View more

you are enough. you are worth it. you are a amzing person. its okay to not be okay. it's fine to feel like shit. just breath, and take it day by day. take care of yourself. not every treament works for everyone give your self the time. and please please keep fighting. please. i know your in a dark place and its so hard to get out. im in there too. im fighting everyday. i can't say it will all be fine, but please please dont give up. please.   ... View more

hey!  I'm not hugely experianced but what you could try is drafting what you want to say before you do so that you dont have to think it up on the spot. if you and your crush hang out alot you could try saying 'hey could i talk to you for a second over here?' and do your best to explain how you feel. above all, do what you feel is right. i really hope all goes well!  ... View more

I'm doing better today, I mangegd to comunicate to my mum that what she was doing was making it really hard for me. im still along way from fine but im facing the right way. writting is my passion. i write poetry mostly. i would love to comunicate mostly via writting but that would take a while to implement as i am working to best my dislexia disgraphya and visual processing disorder. at school i struggle to comunicate on the spot and often need time to calm and be able to formulate a response. at the moment im just trying to get through exams at the moment. i have a slew of mental issues which i am trying to combat after my recent diagonsis. at the moment im basicly working on exams, and beating OCD.   thank you so so much for taking the time to help.   ... View more