TW: Life

@Red_Flamingo 

This week has been good! I was finally able to spend time with my SO and my friends, and besides that just doing some studying and preparation for a possible interview. I've also just commented on our previous conversation, it took me a bit to reply 😅 I'm mostly active on Sundays.

It's really important that you set and maintain your personal boundaries. I'm also glad to hear that you are looking forward to going back to uni! 

Who is your SO@Anzelmo 

Hey @Anzelmo 

Will you be around during the week at all with the temporary changes? I know you're mainly here on a Sunday. 

Hi @Red_Flamingo 

The changes have made it a bit difficult for me to be active lately, but doing my best to adjust. This time of the year is so busy for everyone and I have family visiting too which has made me tired and overwhelmed at times 😅.

Hope you are doing well 💙

Hi @Anzelmo 

That's okay I understand. Not long left anyway.

Is someone visiting today of do you mean at Christmas time? 

I going to my parents on the 20th so I'm trying to hang in as best I can. 

I'm alright today. I've been to an art shop to get some supplies. 

Family from overseas are staying here for 2 months so it's always busy when I wake up. It has been nice as well though, just a bit tiring. 

Do you have any art projects you have in mind coming up?

Oh wow, two months that's a lot. 

I would like to do some flowers and another like the green one. 

Art is such a great way of self-care and a way to express our emotions or creativity. They can also be a great way to just turn our brains off and relax. Feel free to update us with any art you are working on! 💙

Yea, it's so good. I've run out of paste so once I get more and make my next one I'll show you. 

How are you going with family down@Anzelmo 

Hi @Rara @Anzelmo 

Hope you're both having a good day. 

Hi @Red_Flamingo 

Sorry for the late reply, I've been super busy, I worked over the weekend and then yesterday I went into the city to run some errands. Other than that they were pretty good days. 

How's your studying for your exams going? I remember you saying you have a few coming up. 

That's good to hear. I'm happy you've had a nice weekend. 

Yeah, I had one on Friday. I have two next week @Rara 

Hi @Anzelmo 

That's nice to hear. It's lovely weather here today. 

I wish I could say the same, but sadly no. 

I've come home from Bunnings. I needed to get some things for my textured artwork. I sat down and started crying. I don't know what's wrong with me. I wish I could have one day where I don't get upset, sad or need to cry. It's not very fun, and I want my depression to go away. Why do I have to be depressed? I was bullied for 13 years. Isn't that enough torture to then sit here torturing myself emotionally? 

I'm not sure if you know, but I'm back home from being inpatient. It's been a hard adjustment getting into things again, but slowly, I think I'm getting there. It didn't help with what happened last week seeing someone I really didn't want to see. I'm not sure if you know about that, but I've posted about it somewhere, I'm sure, many times. It's been hard since then, but I think I'm getting past that as well now, so that's a good thing, I guess.

I might post a photo of my artwork tomorrow if it's any good. I'll wait and see. I'm very judgemental, and if one thing is wrong, I won't show anyone what I did. This probably doesn't help with the other 50 million things I don't like about myself or whatever else is wrong with me because what isn't wrong with me at this point? I have no clue. 

Sorry, that was probably a bit too much info for you. 

Do you work? Since uni has finished with your thesis, what are you doing now?

Hi @Red_Flamingo 

Thanks for the update and for opening up about your experience, and there is no need to apologise for sharing 💙 This is a safe space and an outlet for us all. 

Adjusting back home does sound like it could take some time and effort, and I'm proud of you for pushing through despite the bumps you have experienced during that transition. It also must be tiring having to feel the need to cry and be in a lower mood so often. We are here for you, and your mental health is so important. I also saw your post about your textured artwork and I think it looks amazing! Maybe art has been a good outlet for you?

I am currently not working, but I am doing a lot of volunteering work lately, and also taking care of my other responsibilities that I had to unfortunately neglect during uni and exam season. Been trying to take care of myself more and see family and friends. That said I am waiting to hear about my results for my degree and If I get an interview offer for further studies. I've been preparing for that just in case I do get an interview, so fingers crossed!

Thanks again for updating us and for also checking in on me. Hopefully, this weekend was nicer than last week 💙

Yeah, it took a while to get back into being on my own again. I think I'm used to it now. However, I've gone back to my parents how and it's good and bad. They don't respect my boundaries and we seem to get in each other's way. This week is okay as they have work and I'm busy too. I've got two exams tomorrow and one on Tuesday. I think it's the weekend when things are worse because we are all together and it gets too much. 

Yes, maybe it has been, but it's an expensive one, hahaha.

@Anzelmo. How are you today? 

One question for you. Do you know how I could release my emotions while being at home, but without my parents noticing? Right now, I'm sad, but I can't cry because my parents are in the room with me. I sold my car a few months ago, so I can't just go for a drive, listen to music, and cry. I feel that once I go back to uni on the 20th, I'll have a lot of suppressed emotions. I'm unsure how good that will be for me. I might have a lot of crying to let the emotions out. 

I still haven't had any SI thoughts, so that's really, really good. I think this new medication has really helped in that sense, though I'm still sad a lot of the time. 

Hey @Red_Flamingo 

I'm doing well today! How are you?

I'm glad to hear you haven't had any SI thoughts and that the medication is helping. It's ok for your mood to fluctuate as well - definitely a journey to heal.

I usually go for a walk to a nice quiet place and just sit there in my feelings alone. I know that can be hard though unless there's some sort of a nice park or something close by. Another thing that could be helpful is writing in a journal and putting all your feelings onto a page. You could also do that on your phone so that it's easier to not have your parents notice if they're in your room and you want it to be private? 

What else do you think you could do?

Yes, it's good. I still haven't had any so I'm happy about it. 

I go back to uni tomorrow so it's been okay. I am looking forward to getting back into my routine. I'm a little concerned with being alone and how I’ll feel. I hope I won't go downhill @Anzelmo 

@Red_Flamingo 

It's been a minute since I was on RO, but I wanted to check in on ya! I'm hoping that your experience with Uni has been going alright and that you found a nice routine that works well for you!

Hello @Anzelmo 

Nice to hear from you. 

I'm doing alright at the moment. I'm just taking each day as it comes. I would say overall, I'm a lot better than, say, September. I've been going to the gym a bit as well. I need to do more exercise. I wanted to go for a bike ride today, but it's raining, so I'm not sure that will happen. I need to take a jumper back I got and get the right one. I want to make some muffins and overnight oats for breakfast for the week. 

What are you up to?

@Red_Flamingo 

Thats amazing to hear that you are taking up more physical exercise. Great for the body and the mind! 

As I mentioned in my other reply, I have family visiting from overseas so I've been doing my best to be a good host whilst also ensuring I have me time for self-care. 

Yeah, that's fair enough. 

I wanted to go for a bike ride yesterday, but the tiers were flat, and I had a two hour plus drama fixing them, so I gave up on the ride. 

The weather isn't very nice here today. I’ll go to the gym tomorrow.@Anzelmo