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Aww @Akinna it sounds like you're really hurting right now, I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time. 

I can empathise with what you said about worrying your diagnosis/meds are wrong. I think that is a really common experience when trialing therapy + meds. All you can do is try to have patience with yourself and the process - we are here to listen as you go through this tough time. 

It sounds like you have a lot of love for your family, the fact that you are fighting for them shows that. Do you mind if I ask whether your family know what you're going through right now?