gender and breasts
I am 19 years old and thinking about transitioning from female to male. I still have doubts though. To say gender confuses me is a HUGE understatement. And I've also wondered if maybe I'm gender fluid or something like that.
I have hated my body for a long time. In different ways and for different reasons throughout the years.The question I have is physical and sort of embarrassing but here I go.... I like boobs. Like, they're fun, right? Not even in a sexual way. They're just sort of cool and pretty and stuff. In the past its confused me that I sort like my breasts... just not on me. Like I've gone through whole phases of attempting to embrace being a woman, love my curves, etc. because I think those are good things to do. But I always end up feeling like... wrong or something. It feels like I'm pretending. And I feel like crap eventually. No matter how good I look for a woman, it's like being in drag for too long or something.
Do you think that what I described is something other people struggle with also? Am I just a weirdo? Am I trans or not? And can I be gender fluid but still want to transition physically? Any tips for attempting to explain and get help from my family? Thank you so much for answering.
Comments
It's alright to be confused be gender, it can be super confusing! There are so many different possibilities and while many people might share the same gender, how they feel about it isn't always exactly the same.
There are other people who struggle with the same thing you do, while not exactly the same, they still struggle with whether or not to fully transition or what they want to be. It's not weird to be going through these things, it takes strength and courage to confront one's gender and choose to change it.
And yes, you can be gender fluid and want to transition physically. What your gender is is completely and 100% up to you.
It's not easy to try and explain what your going through to your family but it's best to keep it simple at first. The link that @Bay52VU provided is the website I made for my own mum while I was overseas. You might want to get facts about gender in general and explain those to your parents first before explaining your own situation more in depth or you might just tell your parents straight up how you feel.
I suggest looking on the internet for resources based in your country or even your state might have resources closer to home as the ones here might not be as helpful to you. Just googling your state and gender help might give you a whole heap of suggestions.
Let us know how you go. 🙂
Hey @Al Skye, welcome to RO.
We can't say for sure if you're trans or not - only you can do that - but if we consider trans as an umbrella term then just the fact that you're questioning it might mean that you're not cisgendered.
I definitely think there are people who feel gender fluid that would prefer their body to have different gender markers. Here's a cool image that's been posted somewhere before, where it shows how gender identity and gender expression can be two separate things.
We've had a few discussions on gender identity on the forums so you might be able to find them in a search... For example, there's a post by DaniFC in this thread which has a lot of links. Although some are Aussie based, the youtube one has lots of other people sharing their experiences.
At the moment I'm trying to find an awesome thread by N1ghtW1ing where they decided to come out as gender queer to their mum. N1ghtW1ng made a cool website to help communicate it... Link: canipleasetellyouaboutsomethingimportant.weebly.com
How would you like the conversation with your parents to go?
Anyway, let us know if you have any more questions or more stuff to discuss.
Also just FYI, the "GR Sessions" subforum is about structured community chat sessions so this thread might be moved to a different subforum, but that's ok. 🙂
Hey @Al Skye, and welcome to RO!
Just a heads up, it seems like you're visiting this site from the US. This is an Australian-based website, so the resources we have here might not be too useful for you.
That being said, like you mentioned you've already tried to accept and love your body and identity as a woman, but if it doesn't feel right then perhaps it isn't the right identity for you. I'm sure you can't be the only person out there going through this same struggle, so perhaps finding other peoples' stories could be beneficial for you. It might also be a good idea to try and find information and services that can answer the questions you've posted. We have this resource here, but again because this is an Australian website the services that are linked in the resource might not be useful. It can be a good start though, and might answer a few of your questions 
