Nope, I'm not going to be on here much longer so there's no point. ... View more

Much the same. Not in an enduring way.  ... View more

Yeah sure </sarcasm> ... View more

Maybe it's because your safety is more important than your parents' opinions on you seeking help @loves netball ... View more

-  Still feel like I want to hurt people. + Watching The Force Awakens atm. ... View more

To be banned from the forums @Bree-RO. I don't necessarily want to break them, but can if it's the only way to resolve this. ... View more

If necessary, I can go one by one through each of the guidelines and break them if that's what it's going to take. ... View more

@ThinkerGirl28 thanks for your reply. I just get/stay aggitated as a pretty regular thing so it's that plus some other stuff. I think I'd be better off staying out of the Tough Times section here but I can't seem to do that.   Some things that make me feel happy/positive are gaming when I don't suck, singing/guitar when I don't suck, building stuff from lego... I dunno what else. ... View more

RNIA trying not to make things worse for myself but I've finished my lego and the book I was reading and I just feel like doing something negative. ... View more

No problemo @letitgo :)   Yeah that makes sense. If it helps any, I think you might as well call her. If it's not a good time for her to talk, she can always leave it and call you back later. And if she's in the middle of relaxing then hopefully can go straight back to it after the call. Plus the sooner you both sort it out, the easier it will hopefully be to sort out NYE plans again.   But good luck with whatever you end up deciding :) ... View more

Hey @letitgo thanks for sharing what's been going on recently. It's really strong of you to write it out here and I'm glad that writing it out made you feel better.   Those are some really great problem solving steps too! :) I really like how you've identified something to do about each of the things. Is there anything that you'd like some support with or extra strategies? ... View more

That does sound really hard @loves netball :( It sounds like it's really confusing and painful and I'm sorry to hear that today's call still feels like thing are unresolved. Can you think of a different way to diffuse the emotional pain rather than self harming? Anything from your safety plan? ... View more

I can see why you might feel that way @loves netball, and it’s definitely hard when you’re feeling that way about yourself.   If I may though, I’d like to offer up a different perspective. Punishment – although the idea behind it is to identify that something was wrong, and enforce that it won’t happen again – is kind of a flawed concept.   First up, what are you punishing yourself for? In this example, for yelling/losing your temper? You’re a human in an emotionally charged situation, and sometimes that happens. It’s not an ideal way to communicate, but it happens to everyone. In the grand scheme of things, it’s not great but it’s something that humans sometimes do on a pretty regular basis. It sounds like you’ve been under a lot of stress with family stuff and so it’s understandable that something like that could happen.   Secondly, does the punishment fit the ‘crime’? Yelling at someone, even a family member, is kind of low on the 1-10 scale of “behaviour that could hurt someone”. I’d put it at about a 1.5 maybe. But on a scale of 1-10 for “behaviour that could hurt someone” self harm is pretty high, much higher than 1.5. So it’s an unfair level of punishment to dole out for a 1.5-level issue.   Thirdly, what will punishing yourself achieve? As I mentioned in the first point, it’s normal human behaviour so a punishment isn’t going to prevent you from yelling in the future. It’ll probably make you feel more upset though, which could actually increase the chances of the behaviour happening again since you’ll already be feeling more stressed out as a result of the punishment. It also won’t make the person that you yelled at – your mum – feel any better about the situation. From what you’ve described, if your mum found out that you were thinking of punishing yourself for it then it might make things even more stressful within your family. So I’m not really seeing this as a good way forward.   But maybe instead, a 1.5-level thing that you could do is to do something nice for your mum. Something where you give up a bit of your time (which is equivalent to the idea of “punishment”), but also could increase positive interactions between both of you. I’m not quite sure what you could do, but maybe an extra chore, or make a slideshow for her about something she’s interested in, or get her a cup of tea, …?   What do you reckon? Do you understand what I mean about all that? ... View more

If you're already going to be in trouble, what does it achieve to hurt yourself as well? @loves netball ... View more

I guess that's one option @loves netball but maybe it could be a good idea to plan something nice for self care after the call, so that regardless of how it goes you have something to look forward to.  What do you reckon? ... View more

@loves netball a letter sounds like a good idea. Do you want some more ideas about what you could do today? That sucks that you got in trouble :( Do you reckon that they really meant for you not to eat anything today, or was it more about a specific thing right now?  ... View more

Well done on the positives @loves netball :) Those are really good. What are you up to today? ... View more

I'm not going to get a good support system anyway so there's no point in anyone waiting around for that to happen.   How I am at the moment is annoyed at most people even though they've done nothing to prompt anything, kind of tired, and a bit upset about nothing. Going to build some of my lego space shuttle to kill time and relax. ... View more

Nope I don't need other supports, I just need help to leave RO in the form of a ban. I tried changing my email to a fake address, setting the password to something I'd never remember, then cancelling my account, but still went through all the effort to fix it and return. The plan is "make it more difficult to return than it is to stay away" and so a ban seems to be the only remaining option if that wasn't enough difficulty.   And you know what, I tripped someone on purpose recently. I know I'm supposed to feel bad about doing that, but I don't. I remember the day when I realised that other people were 'real' and had feelings, and that I could do things that could influence them. I'm not going to forget that day. I'm not going to be underestimated. ... View more

This morning I'm more convinced that a ban would be the best thing. @Ben-RO please can you just make that ban happen? I don't want to create more work here, but this little thing now will minimise stuff going forward. ... View more

@N1ghtW1ng I'm level 25. They've increased the spawn rate for pikachu so it hopefully wouldn't be too hard to find one if you open the app every so often and check the nearby list. ... View more

I wasnt being sarcastic about that one @Sally-RO. I need to be gone at some point so why not now? Flight just landed, catching train to parent's place for the hols.   Within 5mins of getting there mum had managed to have a moan at me about letting moths inside,  touching a door, the clothes I wear (twice) and for playing pokemon go. Great start. ... View more

How about banning me from the forums @Sally-RO so that I'll piss off for good. ... View more

Super. I don't know. ... View more

@N1ghtW1ng yeah I went, and it turned out to be worthwhile cause I caught 2 xmas pikachus plus a charmander, bulbasaur and wartortle which was so close to being all the gen 1 starters. ... View more

F... flight delays, f... storms, f.... feelings. All of them can f.... right off. I don't want to calm down, I want to headbutt ...... ... View more

No problem, that was the most common thing people seemed to talk about when I googled the topic so it makes sense that you might have thought about it thay way too. I'm at the airport so tried playing PoGo but my gps kept glitching and my phone is about to die and everyone is using the power points. Supporting other people on RO seems beyond me atm because my first reaction is sarcastic jerk mode which wouldn't help anyone. You guys all deserve better than that. ... View more

I don't really find the idea painful or upsetting though. It's more like curiosity when I'm in that mindset.   I'm so fed up with this. Everything is annoying, especially me. And it's all the more annoying that no one gives a flying fuck whatI do. Why should I care whether it matters to anyone, why even feel anything at all ... View more