ADHD?
Hello, hope everyone had a good Christmas, Kwanzaa and any other holidays you celebrate if you do?
So in my last psychologist session, my psychologist suggested that maybe it might be worth seeing if I have ADHD. They said that since me requiring so much focus and effort to plan/do things and inability to relax has been a reoccuring pattern in my sessions that might contribute to it. I agreed cos there have been multiple times where I wonder 'maybe I have adhd...nah probably not' and just want a clarified answer to it. We haven't done anything official yet but we brought in my mum near the end and explained it with her cos we need her consent. She was a bit reluctant cos she thought this was brought up cos a few days prior I had been looking through an old school report from primary school and doctors notes from getting funding to go to school and was worried about how I feel like I only got through school by masking my autism and following the rules 24/7. It took a lot of time (and an arguement about how teachers attempts to console me in meltdowns by DRAGGING ME TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE even though they were intended to be a nice place to calm down TRAUMATISED ME I think/how I still think about how hard school was despite it being over) Mum agreed to the process and will look through some files to find the relevant ones to kickstart it.
Ok firstly I think I remember my psychologist saying for my mum to do that WITHOUT me cos reading past reports (some about 100% rule following, some about meltdowns) caused me a lot of distress. I disagree cos in order to cope through things I gotta feel uncomfortable, right? And is this not a way I can just consolidate the past to help get the answers and reasons needed for this process? (sorry it just feels like whenever I'm an emotion other than happy my family goes to great lengths to help me ignore and shove it aside instead of helping me deal with it while being patient)
And secondly, I remember someone who came to speak at school at the start of year 12 giving us heaps of focus tips. And suprising absolutely no one, the main one is stay off your phone at all costs. They gave good reasons such as it'll improve focus BUT they also said checking social media 24/7 will give us ADHD and that it happened to them. I went cold turkey on most social media in year 12 and have being trying to reconnect with them...with varying results. So is this claim true? And if so, does this mean the increase social media use this year was me self inflicting ADHD on me?
And what do I do if I DO get diagnosed with ADHD? What do I have to change in life to accomodate it? Can I even call myself a hard worker if I get distracted or struggle with focus?
GAH sorry just a lot to process.
Comments
Hi, happy holidays to you too~
I'm sorry to hear school was an unpleasant experience. It's honestly frustrating and pretty inconsiderate when teachers don't try to understand students' needs and end up doing something inappropriate and unhelpful when trying to manage the situation. And it's totally understandable that you're still thinking about it - there's no pressure to force yourself to forget about things that are still bothering you. It takes time to move on, and it seems like you've left school recently (?) I hope you're experiencing/ will experience a better post-school lifestyle and freedoms that eventually take up more space in your thoughts to bonk away the bad memories.
It's so right that discomfort and facing challenges head on is part of growing, learning to cope with stuff and being stronger. Like Amelia said, it's nice to think that family members go to lengths they think will help you feel happy and comfortable, but more so annoying, when they don't take your perspective and strengths into consideration. You know best about your own experiences and most importantly this is about you. And yes, like you mentioned, it's a nice opportunity to reflect and consolidate/ get some closure about things if need be. So if you're feeling up to it, sounds like the right call for you to be involved.
I'm definitely no expert, but I haven't heard much about this social media causing ADHD claim - kinda sus ngl. I've looked online where there's some studies about it. As far as I've seen, there's more of a correlation rather than causation thing. I really like what Quietfocus has said about ADHD, it seems more legit and a more realistic approach to using social media. In any case, I'd say it's very unlikely that you caused anything major by using socials more often. If socials are what you enjoy and help you connect/ socialise with others, it seems like a more of a positive impact on your life and there's nothing to be concerned about.
Don't worry, you seem like a really hard worker and a mature and capable person. It's great that you have an idea of how you'd like to approach things in the way that's best for you, and that you're holding firm on being involved throughout the process. We're here if you'd like to keep chatting
wishing y'all happy new year ❤️
*Side note that isn't rly relevant, just putting it here in case someone finds this relatable: My school also gave the Y12 talks this year about how to stay focused when studying, limit distractions etc. I know from experience that having my phone next to me while studying was rly distracting (I kept my phone next to me anyway bc otherwise I was too bored/ stressed, and decided it was worth the effort of resisting the temptation to pick it up). But I feel it's a bit disproportionate to say phones are the main distraction. I would procrastinate for hours by eating/ watching YouTube, sleeping, or just I'd zone out and stop using braincells if it got too boring or stressful - like sometimes taking a fun little phone break to chat with friends or watch something helped me revive & reset/ put things into perspective again.
Hello @AcidMonster55 ! It’s great to meet you.
Thanks for sharing all of this—it sounds like a lot to process, but it’s amazing that you’re taking steps to understand yourself better. I can see how revisiting those past reports feels like an important part of getting clarity. While your mum might want to protect you from distress, it’s valid to feel that working through those emotions could help you consolidate the past and gain closure. Maybe you could work together on this—she could review the files first and then go through them with you when you’re ready. That way, you’d have her support while still being part of the process.
About social media, the claim that it “causes ADHD” isn’t accurate. ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition you’re born with, although it can become more noticeable over time. Social media use can definitely affect focus and create habits that feel ADHD-like, but it doesn’t change the neurological wiring that defines ADHD. It sounds like you’re being really reflective about how your habits impact your focus, which is a great sign of self-awareness, not self-infliction.
If you do get diagnosed, it doesn’t mean you’re not a hard worker. Honestly, it just means you’ve been working even harder than most people to navigate things without knowing why. A diagnosis can be a tool to help you understand yourself better and make things a little easier going forward, whether that’s with therapy, medication, or strategies that work with how your brain functions.
It’s totally okay to feel overwhelmed right now. This is a big step toward clarity, and you don’t have to figure everything out all at once. You’re doing an amazing job by being open about what you’re feeling and seeking answers. If you ever want to vent more, I’m here to listen, and there are so many people on here who are also here to listen.
Best of luck!
Hey @AcidMonster55 I hope you had a lovely hoildays too! Welcome back to the community 😊. I see there's a lot to process about the possible idea of having ADHD and what it may look and feel like if you do get a diagnosis. I am glad you can use this space to do some of that processing here - the community is here for you.
It can be understandably be confusing hearing mixed info about ADHD especially if it has affected your social media use. I wanted to share with you our ADHD page, that has some informative articles on what ADHD is and may answer some of your questions. Sometimes it can also be helpful to ask some of your questions to a mental health professional like your psychologist, as they will have expert knowlegde in this area.
I also hear you are wanting to be more invovled in the diagnosis process but your Mum is worried it may bring up distressing memories about school. As this is a diagnsois that affects you I imagine you would understandably want to be invovled. It can be frustrating when our parents want to protect us from negative feelings when its our way of dealing with our experiences. Have you been able to share this with your Mum, that this is something you want to be apart of? Sometimes it maybe helpful to plan a few calming activities to do if those distressing feelings become too intense throughout this diagnosis journey. I wonder if you have any calming activties in mind that you could do? If you feel like you need a 1 to 1 chat, there's PeerChat (resumes on the 7/01/25) where you can speak to a Peerworker who may understand some of your experiences.
I hope you take care @AcidMonster55 as you embark on this journey. We are here for you, anytime you need it. All the best,
Amelia_RO
