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Medication Motivation

I’ve been on psychiatrist medication for almost two years now (seeing a psychologist too). Currently for bipolar, as I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 July last year.

 

I’m feeling very frustrated with medication right now. I feel like I’m strapped on a roller coaster but don’t know where it’s going.

 

I’ve changed psychiatrists. Just had another medication change. But I get more disappointment and side effects than wanted results. Which has led to me being very skeptical whenever a dr/psychiatrist/psychologist says something will/should help, because it often doesn’t.

 

I saw my psychiatrist this week and unfortunately, like normal, a lot of it is wait and see. See if the side effects from the change go away. See if an extra dosage change makes some side effects go away.

 

I’m just currently finding it really mentally hard to take my medications (currently on 4 different ones).

 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for medication. It’s currently a bit scary being on it, but life without medication was terrifying. I know they keep me alive. I have no plans on stopping taking them, and I know it can be really dangerous to do so. But I’m just so sick of it being so complicated and difficult and kind of scary sometimes.

 

I was wondering if anyone had any advice for staying motivated about taking meds. Because I’m stuck on them and it’s feeling really mentally hard lately just to take them. So any advice would be appreciated thanks

Akinna
AkinnaPosted 06-11-2022 01:13 AM

Comments

 
Dasperedyn
DasperedynPosted 26-01-2023 10:42 PM

Medication can be a tricky thing and it can be hard to find the right balance. It sounds like you've had a lot of changes recently and it can be hard to keep up with all the adjustments. I totally get it, it's hard to stay motivated when things don't seem to be working out. But it's important to remember that medication can be a lifesaver and it's important to stay on it. You can also try to find ways to make taking your medication more manageable, like setting reminders on your phone or using a pill organizer.

 
Akinna
AkinnaPosted 02-12-2022 09:56 PM

After an opinion kind of unrelated to this thread, but don't feel like making another thread…
I am safe. But this is just something I have been wondering.
When can you call a helpline? Like, how do you know you should? What type of reasons can you call a helpline for?
Whenever I’ve thought about ringing one, I second guessed myself because I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time. I have actually rang one in the past, but that was over a year ago.
Again, I am safe!!!!! Just wondering what someone else has to say 🙂

 
 
Dem--RO
Dem--ROPosted 02-12-2022 10:14 PM

Hi @Akinna and thanks for letting us know that you are safe 💜

 

Great question!! This How To Call A Helpline article will be a really good place to start to answer these questions, and for more info there are links at the bottom of the article if you want to take a look at what Kids Help Line and Life Line does, and how to access their services, which can be done via phone or webchat, and they're available 24/7.

 

You're not wasting anyone's time, if you're upset or struggling or not feeling ok and need to talk to someone, help lines are there to listen, offer support, and potential resources 🙂

 

If you have any more questions about this or need more clarification, just reach out, we're happy to help.

 

 
Dem--RO
Dem--ROPosted 06-11-2022 11:19 AM

Hi @Akinna,

 

It's understandable that you're feeling frustrated, and its very unfortunate that these kinds of things take time, but you're doing really great at being so patient with all the current changes that you're having to deal with.

 

Your commitment to maintaining your mental health speaks volumes to your strength and courage, and we're really proud of all the efforts you're making 💜

 

I remember you had mentioned about getting a new psychologist, and you were now doing the sessions on your own, do you feel comfortable talking to the psychologist about your frustrations?

 

How has work been going for you? Did you end up helping your boss with the admin and social media?

 

I've also sent you an email, so please keep an eye out for that.

 
 
Akinna
AkinnaPosted 06-11-2022 12:45 PM

I’ve replied to your email @Dem--RO thanks I’m safe 🙂

 

Thanks for your encouragement, I don’t really have a choice except be patient and put up with it.

 

Yes I’m seeing a new psychologist. I feel like I’m developing a good relationship with her and am getting better at talking. I’ve been sending emails before our sessions with is a good start.

My last session was Thursday and I was just asking about increasing my sessions, which should work for the rest of the year while I have leftover Medicare rebate. Which I would like.

My parents have agreed to let me drive myself to my psychologist appointments, which I like. It gives me a chance to not be around people straight after that type of appointment.

Haven’t talked to her about meds yet because that’s started since our last app. There’s always lots to talk about!

 

Work is going alright thanks. Been a month now. My boss is nice and understanding (living with multiple chronic illnesses herself). I’ve told her about my bipolar.

Just been a MASSIVE trigger for anxiety. Anyway that’s what psychologists are for. I’ve been talking about it with her.

Lotsss of learning + imposter syndrome + perfectionism + fear of being a burden + sooooo many cognitive distortions= anxietyyy!

But I’m determined to deal with it because I know that avoidance only makes anxiety worse. And I don’t really want my mental health problems to stop me from having an interesting life.

I do feel fortunate to have found this boss.

 

I left high school early because of my mental health. So I have friends who are graduating right now but I’m not. Which is a little bit triggering. But it’s nice that I do have something cool going on, a new job.

My mental illnesses are really messing with my life and have given me a few ugly chapters. But they haven’t ruined it. Just changed it.

So even though this still sucks it’s nice that time has allowed this viewpoint to develop. Just have to keep reminding myself

 

And I’ve super recently changed psychiatrists. Which is good. Someone who is younger than my grandparents lol! There were many more reasons for changing. My parents are definitely happier with him. I like him but like I said, I tend to be skeptical.

My most recent appointment was Thursday (booked back to back apps which was full on). He said my newest med should also be helping with anxiety, so wait and see!

 

The only thing I’ve never really mentioned to a psychiatrist before is dissociation. I have pretty much constant derealisation and depersonalisation. Wake up with it, go to bed with it. My psychologist encouraged me to talk with my psychiatrist about it, but I definitely procrastinated. Haven’t even talked about it with my parents. And Mum sits in on psychiatrist appointments.

 

i”m good at journaling, but really trying to keep track of how I feel through this med change. Because I need all the ammunition possible in those appointments!

 
 
 
Dem--RO
Dem--ROPosted 06-11-2022 02:46 PM

Hey @Akinna,

 

It's good to hear that you've put so many great strategies in place to take care of yourself, like journaling, emailing before sessions, and driving yourself is a really good idea. I'm totally with you on needing some quiet time after a session, just to be able to mentally digest and process what has just been discussed 💛 I'm so glad that your new psychologist is a good fit for you, and that you feel that you are making some progress with her. It also sounds like you have really developed some good insight, and are making positive changes to have more control over your life and your direction going forward.

 

I know you have mentioned before that it can be tricky to open-up when your mum is present in the sessions with you. Is there an option to either have just one session on your own with the psychiatrist, or can you email them in advance to let them know that you would like to talk about the dissociation?

 
 
 
 
Akinna
AkinnaPosted 08-11-2022 06:06 PM

I was actually just talking about this with my psychologist @Dem--RO

I probably could see my psychiatrist by myself, but I think my parents would be hesitant. It took them a while to even just let me commute myself to and from my psychologist appointments. I don’t even see my GP by myself.

Mum is handy because she might bring up/remember things I don’t. But at the same time, my psychologist pointed out I probably don’t say as much with her there, so is it worth it?

My psychiatrist has said before that if my psychologist has any questions, to let him know. So I always have the option of my psychologist emailing him or something if she feels it is important.

I don’t know. Thankfully I have until December to decide!

 

I think I’m finding my meds hard at the moment because after what I’ve just been through with this most recent change, I’m scared of side effects. I don’t have strong trust in doctors saying how meds should help me, because there’s not a great track record there. And it’s a frustrating trial and error process.

I do get a bit nervous when there's gaps between appointments (this one is going to be almost two months)

 

And yay for increased depression again 🙂

I’m ok. It’s just annoying to deal with and experience doesn’t make it less painful. I kind of just roll my eyes now whenever I feel the depression getting worse again (it’s almost a permanent background thing, varying intensities).

But I’m ok. It just still sucks.

 
 
 
 
 
Walter-RO
Walter-ROPosted 08-11-2022 08:10 PM

Hey Akinna

 

Its good to recognise that your less talkative or open when mum is present with the psychiatrist. Do you think thats because she takes over? Like you mentioned, is that helpful and worth it?

 

Sounds like youve had a lot of hit and missed with your meds, so i can see how you would find it difficult to be consistent.

 

You mentioned a big gap between your appointments. Its normal to be a bit anxious not having the regular support you may be used to - what do you think you can do in that time if you do feel like you need some extra support?

 

I love that your way of approaching things - that you sort of just sit with the depression when it comes up and roll your eyes but try to accept it and ride out the wave. It does suck for sure nevertheless.

 
 
 
 
 
Akinna
AkinnaPosted 08-11-2022 09:41 PM

I think @Walter-RO that it just feels different when Mum's there in apps. She's a great Mum. But it's just different.

 

Thankfully I see my psychologist in between psychiatrist apps, so hopefully she can give a bit of guidance if I want to contact someone. Just have had bad experiences with big gaps between psychiatrist appointments. But that was with a different psychiatrist, and I was seeing a different psychologist. So hopefully things are different now. I trust this psychologist more than the last one. Time will tell with the new psychiatrist, although I think he will be better than the last one.

 

Well you only get so many choices when the depression flares up. It’s stupid but can’t change that much. You can often do everything right, and it still not makes a difference🤷‍♀️

 

I have a daily med organiser which makes life so much easier. I'm on four different meds but it ends up being multiple tablets for some meds to get the right dosage, and morning and night doses. So it gets messy. But the med organiser makes it so much easier. Just annoying to fill up, but worth it.

 

Don't really have an issue with swallowing tablets (although there is one that dissolves quick that tastes gross. Alright just off-putting). Nothing new as I used to take heaps for physical health issues that were dominant in the past.

 

No good option really, but tablets are best with me. But taking any form of med for an extended period of time definitely gets mentally tiring. I know I don’t have the option of stopping, but it’s just tiring and frustrating.

 

Thanks for your suggestions and encouragement!

 
 
 
 
 
Blake_RO
Blake_ROPosted 09-11-2022 02:42 PM

Hey @Akinna 

I just had a read through this thread and wanted to quickly chime in. I’m sorry that you’ve been finding it difficult with medications. It is very understandable that you’re feeling this way – especially since it has been such a journey for you.

I’m so happy to hear that you are seeing a new psychologist that you’ve been able to develop a good relationship with. I know you’ve mentioned in the past that you would send emails before your sessions and it’s so great to know that you’ve continued to do this!

I know you mentioned that you are also seeing a new psychiatrist which is so positive. I know that you had some concerns with your previous one so it’s good to hear that you are seeing someone new.

It is understandable that you feel anxious about having gaps in your psychiatrist appointments. I was wondering if you had an appointment with your psychologist before your other appointment in December? I know you mentioned that your psychologist could email your psychiatrist if they have any questions or concerns so if you were beginning to feel worried or had some concerns, would you feel comfortable talking to your psychologist about it in the meantime?

 

I know you mentioned that your depression has flared up and was wondering if you’ve been using any strategies to help with this? I know that journaling and listening to music has been helpful for you in the past, has this been helpful for you recently?

 

I also wanted to let you know that you should be really proud of yourself for how far you have come. Your strength, determination and attitude is really incredible. I know it has been a challenging time for you recently, but I was so happy to hear about all the positive new changes in your life – especially hearing that you have a supportive new boss and new a psychologist and psychiatrist.

 

We have also sent you an email, could you please keep an eye out for that?

Remember that we are always here!

 
 
 
 
 
Akinna
AkinnaPosted 09-11-2022 04:35 PM

Yeah @Blake_RO  thankfully some medical stuff has improved. Hopefully more does.

 

Yes I’m seeing my psychologist a few times before my next psychiatrist appointment and it’s definitely a topic I’ve already brought up.

 

These last few months I’ve been really aware of how my behaviours affect my mood. Choosing to see a friend instead of isolating. Choosing what content I look at on social media. Choosing what music I listen to. Choosing to pat my dogs instead of stay in bed. Choosing to do another activity instead of just staying on my phone.

So that’s something different I’ve been focusing on lately. 

I have a bipolar workbook and one of the things it said about depression, is that the more you practice doing enjoyable things, the more you will enjoy them. It’s frustrating to realise I have to practice enjoying things, but I figure I may as well try.

 

And yes, thankfully some life stuff is improving too. It sounds corny but it’s true, the only way for things to get better is to keep going. And leaving school was so good for me because I got some freedom, a change of environment, a fresh start, and a bit more control in my life. For me, leaving school early was one of the best choices I ever made. I’m not just a mentally ill kid stuck in high school with no idea what’s going on. Thank goodness I’m not stuck in that time period anymore.

 

You’re complimenting my strength, determination, etc etc (thanks)… my inspiration really is Jazz Thornton. She says ‘hope is real, change is possible,’ and she is living proof. She was the first recovery story I ever heard of. And even now, just looking at her smiling face makes me feel hopeful that enjoying life beyond survival mode might be possible.

 

I read a really good quote by Michael J Fox recently, ‘acceptance doesn’t mean resignation.’ I find acceptance of my mental health issues and the past it has created really hard. But I thought it’s a really thought-provoking quote.

 

Thanks to everyone who works hard to monitor the forums and keep everyone safe! 🙂

 
 
 
 
 
Walter-RO
Walter-ROPosted 09-11-2022 09:31 PM

Hey Akinna

 

Sounds like a good plan to bring this up with your psychologist when you see them next for sure.

 

Its really great that you are more mindful of how much our behaviour does affect how we feel. Do you have any plans to catch up with a friend soon? What kind of music is more helpful to listen to? Patting your dogs definitely sounds better than just staying in bed.

 

I love that you give things a go despite them being frustrating - practice enjoying things so that you can really enjoy them again.

 

Really glad that things are improving and your thankful for some of the big decisions youve made.

 

We can all do with inspiration. Sounds like you really connected with Jazz Thornton - i was not familiar with her so i googled - its amazing to see how uplifting and encouraging her own story is for you and i can see why. 

 

Love that Michael J Fox quote as acceptance for sure doesnt mean resigning to something, its letting it be and making the most of what we do have i think. (ps. back to the future is the best).

 

Hope youre doing something nice for yourself tonight.

 

🙂

 
 
 
 
 
Walter-RO
Walter-ROPosted 08-11-2022 11:04 PM

Sounds like mum is really supportive which is great to hear.

 

Ah yeah - must be really put off banana smoothies then for sure! 

 

Cant imagine how mentally exhausting having to take various medications is for so long, but its great you are mindful of how important and helpful it is - that its benefits outweigh the costs. 

 

I really admire youre perserverance and strength - i hope you remind yourself of that too! 

 
 
 
Akinna
AkinnaPosted 06-11-2022 12:46 PM

*figurative ammunition as in evidence, just realised that could sound weird in this sort of communication setting lol

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