My life is a neverending spiral into nothingness (someone make that into emo lyrics for a song)
So i had a new gf for like 2 months and uh, you guessed it... SHE BROKE UP WITH ME!!!! We never even met, and apparently i freaked her out by saying I love you too fast???? Idk if that makes sense to you but she was in a previous relationship and apparently they didnt say I love you for like 3 months (why even be in a relationship if you dont say i love you like wtf?) Anyway, we never met, in the beginning we were so amazing and then she just stopped saying i love you back and i had to fish for compliments etc etc and yeah, this morning everything was fine, last night she was saying how much she missed me then this morning she messaged me saying "i have to break up with you because I dont think i'm ready for a relationship (which doesnt even make sense cuz she was in a happy relationship before me so idk) and i was shocked cuz it was completely out of nowhere, she had just been saying i love you but I guess people change. Best thing is she said she had stopped wanting to be with me a week ago, so why didnt she tell me then??? Anyway, this is the 3rd gf and I cant date cis guys cuz i'm not attracted to them, if youve seen my posts before you know my mum is a homophobe and doesnt let me go out and do my own stuff, and i'm not allowed to make new friends unless they're christian so I guess i'm just looking for some advice? thanks
Comments
Hey @SwiggitySwoog 
I'm so sorry to hear that your relationship didn't turn out the way you had hoped, that really sucks to hear. Especially when it seemed to be going relatively okay, and then out of nowhere she breaks the bad news.
I've found that some people are very quick to say I love you because they want to show their affection for others and are very passionate about it, and in some cases their partners are okay with it, while other people prefer to take things a bit slower. It tends to vary from relationship to relationship. Could her perhaps be being freaked out by this be due to the idea that you guys hadn't met (i'm assuming in person) yet?
Hope you're looking after yourself during this time, it's important to be kind to yourself and process things during this time. Do you have any activities you can do that will help you get through this?
Hello @SwiggitySwoog,
I seemed like you have go through quite a bit at the moment. It also seemed that you are rather upset over your recent relationship as well, as it has happened quite suddenly and without much warning
It also seems like your Mom has restricted you quite a bit on the choices that you can have in terms of friends and that seem to be taking quite a toll on you as well.
In terms of relationships, what I could say is that it is tricky, personally I have only ever dated one person, but have gone through quite a bunch of twist and turns of my friendships
As mentioned by @Marimo-RO, Q Life is an excellent place to start to have a chat. To really seek reassurance or advice on what you are going through.
As I am new and unfamiliar with your relationship and circumstances with your mom, have you had a chat with your close ones and friends about the matter? Or with her personally as well?
I personally have had heated discussions with my parents as well in the past, so having a chat has been a good starting point for me personally.
If you are comfortable or would like to give it a shot, there is an helpful article in reach out, which guides you on how to make your parents listen.
In any case, I wish you well and hope you are doing well.
Hi @SwiggitySwoog,
Thank you for opening up about what has happened for you. I can see that you're going through a really tough time with such a sudden breakup. Going through a breakup is never easy and I see that this is all quite fresh for you as well. It is clear that you cherished this relationship a lot and it's natural to feel shocked and heartbroken over what has happened. I understand that you're also feeling restricted by your mum's homophobia and this can make everything more difficult to navigate.
I'm wondering if you currently have any trusted supports you feel able to contact at the moment? If you feel the need for one-on-one support, QLife can provide anonymous support over the phone or via webchat.
Breakups can also be physically, mentally and emotionally draining. Are there any self-care activities you feel able to do?
You've also mentioned that you're looking for some advice and we have an article on coping with a breakup that may have some useful tips for you.
No pressure to check these resources out. You can have a look at them when you feel able to.
