Some Advice
Hi,
Feel like I'm back at square one again with making friends, I've made so many travelling all over the world but I've gone straight back to them not responding and not agreeing to call. Like I really wanna go out and meet new people in my hometown but idk if its worth it because the patterns are repeating again
Comments
Hello @anonymous45 ! I feel you on that - I grew up moving around the world and have experienced the amazing and not-so-amazing parts of having friends all over. It can be frustrating when it feels like you made such great friends but can't seem to get in contact for one reason or another. I am here to remind you, this is not your fault at all - sometimes people are too focused on their own busy lives to realise they are neglecting their friendships. It sounds like you are keen to go out and meet others, and I really support that! You don't have to go from 0-100 instantly, you can always start small and join an extracurricular activity or go to an event. You've got this :)))
Hi @anonymous45,
I'm sorry you feel like you are back to square 1 and this pattern is repeating after you have worked so hard to make changes.
These friends choosing not to communicate with you or keep your friendship is not a reflection of you but it actually shows their inability to keep meaningful relationships. These are friendships we do not want to maintain. I have had many friends that showed no effort and I was constantly the one reaching out. It felt one-sided and I realised, I don't want these unfulfilling friendships. It is a good thing to not have people like this in your life as you deserve friends who will reciprocate your effort and want to share a pure relationship.
The fact that you were able to put your self out there and meet people in the first place is fantastic! Please don't feel discouraged as we have many seasons in our lives and people will come and go. You will find your people, but the only way for this to happen is if you keep trying and making those connections.
All the best on this venture and never give up💖
Hi@anonymous45 
I really hear where you’re coming from. I’ve moved around a bit too, and making new friends has often felt like trial and error. A lot of the friendships I formed were based on proximity or shared environments, and while they may have been temporary, they still mattered and taught me something.
I wonder if you’ve had the chance to gently share how you’ve been feeling with your overseas friends? Sometimes people aren’t intentionally pulling away, but if it turns out they’re not reciprocating the same energy or investment, that’s not a reflection of your worth. It just means they may not be the right people for this chapter of your life—and that’s okay, even if it hurts.
I do think it’s still worth trying to meet new people where you are now. There’s something really special about forming connections with people nearby, even if it feels uncertain. You never know who you might come across—there are still so many wonderful people out there who could end up being truly good friends.
Hi @anonymous45,
It sounds really tough to feel like you're back at square one, especially when you've made connections in the past that aren’t turning out the way you’d hoped. It’s frustrating when patterns repeat, and it can make it hard to put yourself out there again. But even though it feels like things aren’t going the way you want, it doesn’t mean it’s not worth trying.
Sometimes it just takes time to find the right people who click, especially in your hometown where things might feel more familiar. You deserve to have connections that make you feel supported, and it’s okay to keep looking for that, even if it’s a little slower than you’d like. 💛
Given how much this is weighing on your mind, I'm wondering if there's anything you can do to take care of yourself? I find that small acts of self-care, such as going on a walk outside or spending some time reading, can help put me in a better mindset for the day ahead.
I'm sending you my very best! 😊
Hey @anonymous45 ,
I'm sorry to hear that your friends aren't keeping up communication with you, that must be upsetting. 😞
You mentioned that you have made so many friends while travelling - that sounds like it was a great experience! However, I think it can be especially hard to keep in contact with people overseas when so little of your lives overlap (both in terms of common activities, spaces, and even time zones), which sucks. Hopefully you guys will connect every now and then and remember your time together fondly, but it sounds like they aren't really going to maintain enough contact to be your 'main friends', for now anyway.
Making friends in your hometown sounds like a good idea, especially if you will be staying there for a while. It sounds like you have been discouraged by you previous experiences, but I think it's always a good thing to keep meeting new people, and meeting people in a place where you are likely to spend more time in can be helpful for keeping the friendships alive. Could you join a social sport team/art class/club/volunteer organisation/other social activity that meets regularly, so that you can see the same people on a regular basis? I've found that super helpful for developing my friendships. Do you have any old friends from your hometown you could reconnect with? That can be a good place to start sometimes too.
Don't give up - you'll find some more consistent friends! In the meantime, take good care of yourself. This article has some nice tips for when you are feeling lonely if you are interested, and remember that you can always post in the ReachOut community. 🙂
Wishing you all the best 💛
Hi @anonymous45 
Thanks for reaching out :))
This definitely sounds really frustrating, especially when friendships are like 2 way relationships. You expect both people want to invest equally and reach out, engage, make calls, etc.
It also sounds like you've experienced a lot of different environments by travelling all over the world! That sounds like a really, really immersive experience!
Understandably that physical distance may create a strain, but in my experience it usually boils down to just *life* getting in the way. Being busy, school, work, etc.
On one hand, you're relieved that it's not you. On the other hand, you might also have responsibilities but still make the time to reach out.
In my experience, I didn't realise how essential time was until just recently. Last semester I had a perfect block of time I could see my friend in every week. Unfortunately this semester our timetables don't merge at all and I haven't been able to see them or really text because of our responsibilities. When we can we send each other encouraging messages, not necessarily expecting a reply, but knowing that without seeing each other we're still supporting each other and investing in our relationship.
I would absolutely not be discouraged to continue to meet new people. That's always a lovely experience and you sound confident in those skills!
You might meet people who naturally like to stick around more than others and either are fine if you're both confident in the relationship. Should they reply less it might be worth supporting them from a distance.
Otherwise if you're confident in your feelings and concerns - maybe send them a message expressing your feelings. If anything, they don't remain boiling up inside you and it also tells you what actions you could take going forward.
Let me know what you think?
