Nervous wreck
I've been quite a bit better lately, which is nice. Days are usually good.
But for some reason, most the time, when I go out, I'm an emotional wreck. Just got back from something. And I was happy before, but I felt like I was going to cry if anything happened. Like on nerve. But I don't really have any reason to be.
Like I'd probably cry if anyone looked me in the eyes or asked how I was.
And it wasn't just today. Same for the other day. And I don't know why.
My social battery has dropped down so much in the last week. Just a short time out and I'm already waiting to get home and put on my music, block myself from the real world.Like, I have no idea what's the matter. I'm fine most the time at home. And it used to be the other way around. Desperate to get out of the house, away from family. Now, I just want to hide in my room all day.
And I'm safe.
Comments
Hi @Lemon_Dolphin 
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. It must be challenging to navigate this. Feeling emotional is okay and is a strength it means you can be in tune with your emotions but also understand other's emotions.
Could you think of any reason why maybe you are feeling like this? Any changes in your life that may have happened or what you were doing when all of a sudden these emotions came forward. I know this is a lot of questions but do you have any coping mechanisms when these occur?
I have felt like this in past that I would often focus on my breathing and muscle relaxation or if possible listening to music to calm myself down.
You mentioned that your social battery dropped. Sometimes when our social battery drops it can lead to feeling emotionally vulnerable and increased stress. Do you have some ways that you replenish your social battery? If not could you try a creative outlook to recharge painting, drawing, colouring and journalling could help or even a form of movement can help. Sometimes our social battery dies when we are around certain people, who maybe take advantage of us or not respect our boundaries is there anyone recently in your life that you could create more boundaries with to help avoid this?
I know I have asked a lot of questions and its okay not to have an answer to all of them but I hope some of these question help figure out what might be causing this.
Hey @Rara
I just haven't had much energy. I had a lot to deal with about two weeks ago, and I still feel like I'm recovering from it all. But I'm slowly getting there.
Yeah, I do deep breathing and some other things I found helps me focus on the present more. Like trying to notice things around me instead of getting overwhelmed by emotions.
I've been doing quite a bit of writing lately. So many started projects now. But I keep starting new ones or just short ones. And I've been doing some poetry writing too.
Well, I feel like the only people who really drain me are my parents and my siblings, mainly my parents though. But I live with them, so I don't think that has heaps to do with it. I mean, they frustrate me which does drain me emotionally. But I don't really hang around with them when I'm out or even go out with them that much anymore.
I think it's probably because I'm just so low on energy. And emotionally exhausted and recovering from last month.
I am so glad to hear that you have been feeling better lately and that overall your days have been good. Progress is always wonderful and you should commend yourself for taking such positive steps forward.
I know you mentioned being an emotional wreck lately, but don't be too hard on yourself, it is a lot more common than what you think. While at times it's not ideal, expressing emotions is our body's way of coping with the events happening around us. Whether it's happiness, sadness, fear or something completely different we react in a way that feels appropriate to the situation. On top of this, there can be other external contributing factors that may be draining your social and emotional battery without you even knowing. Have there been any big changes in your life recently or have you experienced anything that may have altered your perspective about things?
Another element that could play a role in emotional swings are fluctuations in hormone levels. This can leave you feeling extremely happy one moment and very sad the next. So acknowledging that it's a normal part of life can also help you understand why you might be feeling that way.
You said that despite going out being tiring at times you would be scared to limit these interactions in case you fell into a downward spiral of not wanting to socialise at all. I think that level of self awareness is great and maintaining catch ups with your friends is a good idea. Maybe shortening the time you spend out could help balance this while you work to build your battery back up. Another strategy could be to just take a step aside, regather your thoughts, do some breathing or mindfulness exercises and then reconnect with your friends. I think that over time you will gradually be able to get a better understanding of where these emotions are coming from and what techniques work best for you 💛
Thanks.
Yeah, I guess there have been quite a few changes. It makes total sense I'm so emotional, but I also hate it. I need a hug, but I'd also start crying.
Well, I know I'm low on some of my minerals. I forgot to have some last night and didn't sleep, then I was a bit nauseous, so obviously it makes a difference. But I could easily be low in other minerals too. And that could easily affect it too.
The problem is most the things I go out for are like things that go for a certain time. And I wouldn't want to leave in the middle. But the other idea sounds like it could help. The amount of times I hide in the kitchen with one or two other people. I'm an introvert so what can I say? 🙂
It's also hard because I feel like I'm the third in a group of three. In most groups. The one that gets a bit left out. But that's ok.
Hey @Lemon_Dolphin 
I am sorry to hear that you have been feeling this when you have been going out. That must be an awful feeling to be experiencing and it is understandable why you want to go home.
I know you mentioned that you used to love getting out of the house but now it is the other way around. I was wondering if you think it might be helpful to take small steps when going out until you are feeling more confident being out and less emotional. Perhaps even doing some of your self-care strategies whilst being outside like listing to your music outside?
I was also wondering if you have any coping strategies for when this happens when you are out, or if you think this might be helpful?
How are you feeling tonight since being back home?
I don't know whether going out less would be that beneficial. I'm a bit scared I'd close off and stay at home, then get depressed. I don't know, just the idea of staying home seems bad.
I walked with some friends and we had the UE Boom playing music as we walked. Then later while we were packing up after some stuff. But it didn't really feel like self-care. I think a part of having music as a coping strategy is being able to be mostly by myself, in my room, almost blocking everything out.
I've focused on my breathing a few times. I also found this thing where you try to find every color around you, so you are focusing on your surroundings. Like you start at red, going through each color of the rainbow, then pink and brown and grey. Anyway, I've been doing that a bit. So mostly anything that calms me down.
I wasn't that great before, but I'm feeling a bit better now. I've been writing some poetry.
Hey @Lemon_Dolphin
It is good to hear that you are feeling better now and have been writing some poetry. This sounds like some really positive self-care that you have been doing!
It is also really great to hear about your coping strategies when you are out, the finding colours sounds like an awesome way to stay grounded and focus on everything around you. That must be really helpful. It also sounds like focusing on your breathing is helpful which is great to hear. I can see how hard you are trying to take care of yourself and you should be really proud of all the steps you are taking.
I know that you mentioned that part of the reason why music is a good strategy for you is because you can be by yourself and block everything out. Have you ever tried doing something similar while you’re out? Such as finding a quiet space where you can be alone like in the park or in a nice sunny space and listening to your music?
As you mentioned that you were with some friends today, I was wondering if you would feel comfortable telling them how you are feeling? It is okay if you aren’t and very understandable.
Take care tonight💜
I mean, I could probably. Usually when I go out though, I'm with other people, so that wouldn't be the best.
I ride to work in Friday and listen to my music as I do, which is good. So that's kind of the same.
Not really. I find it so hard sharing stuff like that in person. I did have another friend ask how I was on Messenger, which was nice. So I got to talk a bit about it. But I can't really tell her everything either. It's hard.
Thanks
