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SO ANGRY!!!!!
Warning: really big and petty sounding rant. Feel free to tell me ACID STOP BEING SO WHINGY.
Ok so for months on end I’ve been working on an animated film for media and I’ve got SO stressed over it SO MANY TIMES due to my poor time management. I’ve done the rough animation for most of the scenes and I’ve started the lineart/colours but im still VERY BEHIND (I haven’t even edited everything together yet!!!!) And I’ve had heaps of extensions but now it is NON NEGOTIABILY DUE TUESDAY!!!! I DONT WANNA HAVE SOMETHING UNFINISHED BE SUBMITTED NO ONE AT MY SCHOOL UNDERSTANDS HOW LONG ANIMATION TAKES AND ITS FUNNY COS ITS ALL ABOUT ANXIETY BUT IVE BEEN SO DAMN TERRIBLE AT MANAGING IT I AM SUCH A HYPOCRITE IF I CANT FINISH A FILM AT SCHOOL HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FINISH FILMS AT UNI/IN THE INDUSTRY?!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA LIFE IS SO UNFAIR!
It seems like no matter how hard I try I can NEVER manage my anxiety and depression. I’ve tried everything: I’ve seen a doctor biweekly, I’m on medication, I meditate frequently, I’m thinking of taking up Hinduism, I see my psychologist in and out of school so much more frequently, I’ve got really close and understanding teachers and friends, I’ve been prioritising healthy eating, I’m BARELY on social media and I make sure to ONLY consume happy positive movies/tv/music/books (well, ok, maybe except in last few weeks but that cos I was desperate to cathartically release everything). I’ve tried to accept EVERY SINGLE DAY that stress is a natural/unavoidable life and it’s up to me to stay present in the moment but I’m at my wits end. I can’t do this. I can’t do school. I can’t do life. I can’t do anything.
And what’s even MORE frustrating is that everyone keeps telling me I’m doing well WHEN IM NOT!!!!
Don’t bother with replying. I know I’m a lost cause.
Comments
Ummmm hi update sorry for the huge rant the other week, managed to submit the thing I was stressed about (it was just the rough animation instead of the clean lineart/coloured one but still, managed to admit something, bettter than nothing).
Still really hate how I approached this. Wish I can do it again with the insight I have now.
Hey again @AcidMonster55, thanks for sharing an update about how your assignment went! There is no need to be sorry - it sounds like your 'rant' was much needed in terms of being able to express your emotional distress and get all the frustration out. It's what the community is here for 😊
Congrats on submitting it! It sounds like it was a big challenge, but it's all done now. I am really hearing that you feel some regret in how you approached it - and whilst that can definitely be frustrating, it is also just as much a part of the learning process. Perhaps you could even share your reflections on what you might have done differently with your teacher? It may not land you extra credit, but knowing that you have done some reflecting and that you have deeper insight into the process is always a positive, and perhaps could help you in whatever the next challenge is with this course.
How are you feeling now that it's done?
Hi AcidMonster55,
I know you said you didn’t want a reply but I really want to start by letting you know the ReachOut Community is all here cheering you on and wishing you success in your studies.
It certainly sounds like things are very stressful right now. Year 12 can be incredibly overwhelming when assignments are due and it probably feels like this will never end. It is clear to me you are doing all the right things to look after yourself and it must be so frustrating when it feels like this is not paying off. I want to encourage you not to give up and to keep going in the right direction towards better mental health.
I understand you are under immense pressure to get your assignment completed before the due date but I am wondering if you would benefit from taking a brief moment to reset. Perhaps stepping outside for some fresh air, putting your bare feet on the earth, or maybe blasting your favourite song and screaming along at the top of your lungs. Anything you can think of that will expel that nervous energy from your system and allow you to return to the task at hand with refreshed focus.
I also wanted to let you know about another service ReachOut has for young people aged 18 - 25, PeerChat. You can book a chat to text online with a peer worker, this can be a great opportunity to vent about what is going on with someone who understands life’s challenges first hand. I will also be sending you through and email to check in so keep your eyes peeled