TW: Not knowing what to do anymore
Hi
I need help.
I am currently feeling depressed 24/7 and it is affecting the way i think, the way i d0 things and the way i interact with others
I am autistic so there are only 1% of me in the world but i always feel like a freak and outcast, i always feel like god made me with no purpose and i have to suffer through life
I have a girlfriend but i feel like a burden towards her because of my depression and i don't want to be that burden towards her since i love her so much, i don't want her getting hurt because of me
I see a therapist and psychologist but nothing helps anymore, i don't feel happiness anymore.
I don't know what to do anymore, i have no purpose,
Comments
Hey @thek0ala_guy626 
I am sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time at the moment and that you are experiencnig this. I just wanted to acknoweldge how much strength and courage it takes to share this with us and to reach out for some support so you should be really proud of yourself for taking that step. We really appreciate your honesty in sharing this with us and want you to know that we are all here to listen and support you as much as we can.
I can hear how much this has been impacting you and it is very understandbale how difficult this must be for you. I can also hear how much your girflriend means to you and how much you love her and don't want to hurt her. I was wondering if you have spoken to her about what you're going through and the thoughts that you have been having?
It sounds like you are trying really hard to get through this and you don't have to do this alone. Even by reaching out to us shows just how hard you are trying, which shows a lot of a strength.
I know you mentioned that you see a therapist and a psychologist but nothing helps anymore and I am sorry to hear this. I was wondering whether you have any upcoming appointments with them and whether they, or anyone else was aware of the thoughts you have been having?
I wanted to share a collection of articles that we have which you may find helpful to have a look through. It includes some articles about what to do when you are feeling this way and shares some stories from other young people who have also experienced thoughts of suicide. We also have an article about creating a safety plan which you can access here.
I know you mentioned that you don't feel happiness anymore, and was wondering if perhaps there was anything in the past that has made you feel happy, or whether you have any strategies to help you when you are feeling this way?
I am sorry to hear that you feel like an outcast because you have autism. I wanted to remind you that you are certainly not alone and we have a strong neurodiverse community on the forums. We have also had some events in the past about Autism which you might be interested in having a look through or perhaps connecting with other young people who are also neurodiverse.
By the way we have had to make some edits to your post so that it aligns with our community guidelines. We have also sent you an email to check in with you. Can you please keep an eye out for that and respond when you can? We just want to make sure that you are safe.
Take care and remember that we are all here for you.
Hope to hear back from you soon.
@Blake_RO 
Hello, thank you for replying back and i am sorry for replying late have been dealing with school
Unfortunately my mental health issues have been getting worse, my depression is worse and now i have Schizophrenia,
My Girlfriend Dumped me which has made my mental health worse and i haven't been getting well enough sleep, i have been getting at least no sleep to at least 2 hours of sleep and i start seeing delusions and hallucinations of people i love, i have split personalities now and i talk to myself.
I now see a social worker to help figure out what my life is like with Autism and how it is not a bad thing, it helps a little but it's not the same with what i am going through right now
I also no longer have friends anymore, they all ditched me because apparently i make them uncomfortable and no longer want me to be around them anymore, i am so lonely i don't know what to do anymore
Hey @thek0ala_guy626
It is good to hear back from you. I am sorry to hear that you have been going through such a difficult time recently. It sounds like things have been really tough for you since you last posted and I am really glad that you were able to share this with us.
You mentioned that your mental health has been getting worse which must be really hard to be dealing with. I know that you also mentioned that your girlfriend has broken up with you and I am sorry to hear this. It is very understandable how upsetting this must be for you. I know you've previously shared how much she meant to you and it is very clear how much you care about her.
I know that you also mentioned that you haven't been getting enough sleep which must make things even harder for you to manage and that you have been experiencing hallucinations of people that you love. It sounds like this is a lot to be dealing with. I was wondering whether you have spoken to your psychologist, therapist or social worker about this and if they, or anyone else is aware about your difficulties with sleep and the hallucinations and delusions that you are experiencing?
I was also curious about what other supports you have at the moment and whether you have any support from a GP or perhaps family members? Are they aware of what's going on for you at the moment? I can hear how much of a difficult time it has been for you lately and it sounds like it has been a lot to be dealing with which is why it's important to remember that you don't have to go through this alone and that you deserve all the support available to you.
I wanted to let you know that we have sent you an email to check in, can you please have a look for it and respond when you can?
Also I have made some small edits to your post so that it better aligns with our community guidelines. It is important that when discussing any risk, that we do so in a safe way and make sure that we let the community know that we are safe.
Thank you again for being so honest with us about this, we want to remind you that you are not alone and we are all here to listen and support you as best as we can.
Take care and I look forward to hearing back from you soon.
