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Feeling Blah
Hey y’all. So it’s first day of holidays. Yay. And yesterday I made a list of what to do for exam revision over the holidays. I emailed this to my teachers to check if I missed everything and they were like ‘this is all good Acid make sure to take breaks but still good job.’ This gives me a MAJOR confidence boost and I then spend an hour compartmentalising each task for each subject for each semester this year to get even MORE organised to make this feeling last.
I then wake up this morning and think ‘yknow what, I feel SO confident in list I think I’ll plan an entire week instead of a day like I normally do (plus I read the other day that weekly schedules are more beneficial than daily/monthly schedules, is this true). So I try to find a good template and struggle for an hour to fit everything for each subject in it so it could meet my long list of goals before I graduate in a few weeks. So after a while I manage to create a rough plan and start my work day. First period is REALLY thorough English revision but I didn’t check the timer was on so I end up working for 2 hours instead of my usual 50 mins. I then have lunch thinking ‘oh god I was hoping to do a practise language analysis after this will I have enough energy?…better take half an hour to reset.’ And so I do.
So I start doing the language analysis doing the recommended time plan for reading/annotating/writing my teacher gave me because my time management this year has been shiiiiiit (which is why I am SO determined to be organised these holidays). But once I got to the writing part, my timer plays up AGAIN and I end up writing for god knows how long. And the worst part was 1. I realised how inconcise my words were (my biggest weakness in English) and 2. I was even MORE exhausted than I was before! So I panic a bit, dad sees me, I tell him what happened, he said it’s better to plan each day because weeks change (someone tell me if this is valid pls)
and gives me the typical but effective ‘keep going cos once u get to uni it’ll be so much better’ pep talk. So I take another 15 mins to chill, manage to finish the language analysis (but run out of time to double check) and spend 5 mins pacing cos I gave myself 30 mins working/5 mins break for rest of things on my schedule and it’s shorter like I usually do and I’m TERRIFIED of reducing my focus time and worried shorter periods will do that (it’s happened before-main reason why mental health this years been crap). I then practise my theatre monologue, mum comes downstairs, ‘hey we’re ordering takeaway, maybe finish studying for day.’ I respond ‘come on I just got a few things left 2 do.’
‘Acid NO you’re tired from the term and you launched right into your homework on the first day of holidays. Don’t put pressure on yourself. You know and your teachers know you need to rest a bit or else you’ll be stressed over homework for the entire 2 weeks.’
I respond do you think I should have taken today off, mum says yes, take tomorrow off to make up for it.
I mean in hindsight it’s probably best thing to do but I’m worried I won’t relax enough/cause brain to think ‘oh starting things and not finishing them is ok’ WHEN ITS NOT!!!! How do I prevent this from happening?!
I just wanna stay on top of everything. How do I do that.
And how do I not fall back into old bad habits?
Comments
Hey @AcidMonster55 
Sounds like you are organised and trying to stay on top of things as best you can. It also sounds like your putting a lot of pressure on yourself as well. I think it depends on the work and how you study best, I'm at uni and will often plan a couple of days at a time and dedicate one subject to each day. This lets me finish that subject without a time constraint, but if something changes that day, I have done a little bit, so I don't feel so bad.
I also think a balance is a good thing as well, especially when it comes to studying you don't want to burn yourself out. I will often spend the afternoon or the morning (depending on what else I have going on), so I can have it at some point during the day too. Sometimes I will even set my alarm earlier than what I normally do when I am under the pump so I can maximise my mornings. I also give myself a rest day and try to do something as well that looks after me, whether it's meeting a friend, watching a movie or just catching up on housework (I like a clean environment when I am studying). Finding a balance might help too.
It's great to see you are dedicated, and want to perform well. Just remember though burning yourself out and over studying can cause fatigue and when it comes to exams you don't want to be tired. Doing a little bit every day is better than nothing and you are always trying your best. Remember to relax, recharge and have fun as well though.
Things sound quite stressful for you currently. It must be very difficult. As for whether planning a week or a day is better, I think personal preference is important and often overlooked. What matters is doing the work not whether the way you are doing the work is objectively the most optimal way (optimisation tends to not include personal differences). It sounds like you’re super dedicated, which is honestly the most helpful thing. I personally find planning each day to be better as I can only ever have a rough estimate of the amount of time it will take me to do things. I also try to overestimate how long things will take so it doesn’t feel like I must rush to complete my work and it becomes a bonus when I finish things faster than expected.
When I’m studying, I try to give myself minimum one guilt free day off a week, given that it is the holidays you should try to give yourself more time off. This will allow you to rest and enjoy some of the other things you like. There’s no point burning yourself out during the holidays revising just to end up struggling when school starts.
Try to remember that something is always better than nothing. You might not be able to finish everything you want but that doesn’t negate all the work you put in. So long as you know you have put enough effort in, you’ve done a good job. Your brain is also always processing things even when you sleep, so even when you’re not actively doing work at a specific moment, you are still cementing your knowledge.
Hey @AcidMonster55 It sounds like school is causing you a lot of stress right now. Seems like you want to do well and are trying to put some systems in place to help. I think that's awesome you're trying your best and giving it all you've got, but yes remember to rest as well, it is meant to be a holiday after all so you don't return to school exhausted. What do you usually like to do in the holidays? Do you get 2 weeks? I'm wondering if you could rest and recharge in the first week and then maybe prepare yourself in the second week? What do you think? Sure, it's a good idea to finish things we start but that doesn't mean you can't finish it a little later and just take some time for yourself now.
When it comes to organising yourself, I'm wondering if this thread would be helpful? https://forums.au.reachout.com/t5/Study-stress/Study-stress-support/td-p/491416
And how to nail the balance here https://au.reachout.com/articles/why-you-shouldnt-always-put-studying-first
You're not alone AcidMonster55! I hope you can recharge over the holidays and please keep reaching out 😀