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School Stress
Hi,
I have my Y12 history exam in a couple days and I'm feeling really stressed about it. I'm a Y11 accelerator so it's my only exam and I'd been feeling "normal" levels of stress for the past week and a bit but now that it's in a few days, I feel sick with stress. It doesn't help that I also have a cold and I'm crossing my fingers that I'll be well enough on the day to actually go.
I'm feeling stressed because I feel like I haven't done enough and that I've wasted all my time, especially on weekends. I also feel like that all the practice questions and tasks I've done and given to my teacher have been progressively worse but I have no evidence to support this. My teacher's been really supportive and willing to mark any work I give him but he doesn't give scores except for practice exams, which I haven't gotten back yet. I'm feeling overwhelmed by everything I don't know or can't remember exactly and getting frustrated and sick with myself. I think I'm just stuck in my head and don't know how to break the cycle.
My mum is also frustrated with me because this usually happens before an exam, no matter how big or small. Some exams I don't feel like this for, like Literature of Maths because I know there's only so much you can do to help. With subjects like the sciences or history that are content based, I keep mentally beating myself up for not doing more. Because this is my last history exam, I'm really feeling the pressure and mum got frustrated with me. She said that if I can't handle the pressure, I should drop out at the end of the year. I told her i didn't want to do that. She said that's fine but that I should call it quits after that then because I clearly won't be able to cope with University.
This really hurt my feelings because I really want to go to University after school and found some courses that sound fun and are in areas I'm really interested in. Also, everyone I've talked to said that University is easier in terms of stress than high school because it's much more flexible. It feels like my mum doesn't believe in me and that she thinks I should just give up but I don't want to. I want to keep trying. Deep down, I know I'll be okay for the exam because I got a predicted score I'm proud of, but at the same time, I can't stop thinking about what if I don't get the score?
I'm stuck in my head and spiraling and my mum made it worse by hurting my feelings. I don't want to quit but now I feel like I'm not allowed to be stressed or mum will use it as proof that I'm not capable.
Sorry for the rant,
Bye
Comments
Thank you everyone for all the support, it's been really helpful ❤️
I completed the Exam on Tuesday and I truly believe I did as much as I could. My teacher was happy with the work I put in and I spoke to the school counselor about managing Exam stress as well, which helped.
A lot of you mentioned being kind to myself and I've really tried to not do too much after the Exam and take time to focus more on hobbies like reading and writing. I've got an Exeat this weekend and I'm planning on not doing any school work and just enjoying myself.
As for my mum, I'm not too sure what to think because those comments still sting. Her argument was something like that I should be feeling confident because I'm good but everyone else I speak to says that Exam stress is normal, so I'm not sure. I still want to go to University and really grateful to all the people who told me about their experiences and it's still something I really want to pursue after school. I think my mum would also like me to go and is sort of contradicting herself after the Exam or something but I'm a bit confused at trying to read her mind. As some of you said, it's possible she was just frustrated in the moment.
To answer some questions, there isn't really a specific reason for not achieving my study score other than a "what if" spiral and also the misbelief that it was a fluke. I still have that fear now even after the Exam as I'm waiting for the results to come out so I was wondering if anyone had any tips to take my mind off it because it's even more out of my control than before. I don't want to spend every moment between now and then agonising over every possible mistake.
I'm trying to tell myself to be proud of what I've done regardless of the score but I'm getting mixed messages from some people at school that's just weird. Like, having people who didn't even take the exam say that it was really easy? Cause some random teacher (not MY teacher) said so? My teacher said that the Exam was challenging in the Essay section but that there were opportunities to make up marks in the Short Answer, which is much more positive than demeaning the exam to "easy".
Anyway, i just wanted to say thank you to you all!
Best of luck x
Hello @Lemon_Fox
Good to hear that you got your exam settled now and found everyone’s comments very helpful 🤩.
Also I feel you as well, I just finished my Honours Thesis a while but I still get jitters and some stress over how it went as I wait for the grade to eventually come out. In regards to how I’m handling it at the moment, I’m trying to just keep myself busy, which seems to be the trajectory you are going with reading and writing.
However, I agree that sometimes in the midst of doing some of this hobbies, the thought still comes to mind, which is not particularly great and it could lead me on a spiral in that case. Some way I would mitigate that would be to either go out for a little adventure ( so a walk, a run, hike etc), as it really freshen your mind and exerts your energy in something else other than your worries
Another option I would do when I can’t do any physical activity would be to listen to music while engaging in my hobbies as it drowns out my worries and allows me to concentrate on my tasks
In any case, congrats on finishing your exam and I hope this was of some help ☺️, have a good weekend!
Hi @Lemon_Fox! I am so glad to hear that the responses you received were helpful.
It sounds like you have been doing a lot of reflecting about things which is really impressive! It is so great that you spoke with your counsellor and found hobbies after the exam. That is an incredible accomplishment and you should be proud!
I hear that you’re waiting for results and it is completely understandable that you are feeling this way. It is tough when things are out of our control but I think focusing on what we can control at this moment can help. This might involve taking time to relax which you plan on doing. This is great!
Here are a few ideas you might like to try that I personally find helpful:
1. Relaxation and breathing exercises. I personally use apps such as smiling mind!
2. Keeping a journal. I hear writing down your thoughts especially about what you’re grateful for or proud of can be great positive thinking!
3. Stay engaged in your hobbies which you are already doing! Reading and writing is great or even trying things like exercise or drawing.
4. Talk to people you trust and who may understand what you’re going through. These might be family, class mates or friends.
What matters most at the end of the day is that you did your best, and your teacher’s feedback is positive. Whether the score is exactly what you hoped for or not, your effort and growth throughout the process are what matters. It's great that you're keeping that perspective in mind. Your aspirations for university are something you can continue to work toward no matter what the results are!
Enjoy your weekend and give yourself the time to relax. You've earned it! Take care 😊
Hi @Lemon_Fox!
Thank you for being so open and sharing this with us. I am really sorry to hear that you have been feeling stressed about your upcoming history exam. It sounds like you have been working hard but it is completely normal to feel stressed or overwhelmed during this time. It is okay to feel this way. It just shows that you care about doing well. You said your teacher has been supportive. That is fantastic and it’s great that you have someone who is willing to help you with this.
Remember to take deep breaths, focus on what you’ve learned, and believe in yourself! I always try and remind myself of things I am proud of no matter how small. This can be motivating. Positive thinking can really help so be kind to yourself 😊
You’ve got this 💪🏻👏🏻
Hey, no need to apologise—you're dealing with a lot right now, and it’s totally understandable to feel overwhelmed. First of all, I really hear you. You're under so much pressure, and it's clear you're putting in a lot of effort to do well. It's also really tough when stress starts to affect your body, especially when you're dealing with a cold on top of everything.
It sounds like you're feeling like you're not doing enough, even though you’ve been working hard. That “not doing enough” feeling is a trap many of us fall into, especially in high-stakes moments. But from everything you’ve said, it’s clear you’ve been preparing, doing practice questions, and seeking help from your teacher. Even if you don't feel like you've done enough, that doesn't mean you haven't been working. Trust that your effort has value, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
The stress you're feeling now, right before the exam, is really common, especially when you're so close to the finish line. And the added pressure of worrying about being sick on the day is enough to make anyone spiral. It’s tough when your mind gets stuck in that “what if” cycle. It's easy to imagine the worst-case scenario, but try to remind yourself that you’ve been preparing, you’ve got support, and you’re capable of more than you might feel in the moment.
As for the situation with your mum, I’m really sorry that her words hurt. It sounds like she’s frustrated, maybe from seeing you in distress, but her comments about quitting university don't reflect what you’re capable of. I’m sure it’s hard when someone close to you doubts your ability to cope, especially when you're already feeling uncertain and vulnerable. But your desire to keep going, to try your best, shows real strength. You’re allowed to feel stressed, but that doesn’t mean you should give up or that you're not capable of succeeding. It’s a sign that you care and want to do well. The fact that you’re still pushing through, despite all the stress, shows your resilience.
You’ve got this. You're doing your best, and that’s enough. Don’t forget to be kind to yourself.
Take care, and I’m here if you need to talk more.😊
Hi there @Lemon_Fox
I'm sorry your mother made those hurtful comments, it sounds like it really affected you. Having just finished university, I can say that university and high school don't even compare. High school was the most stressful time in my life, and the work load was burnout-worthy. University has many options for you. You can do university full time or part time, and choose how much work / stress you want to handle per semester. I chose full time for all of my semesters and the workload still didn't even compare most of the time (though I can handle a large work load, this is subjective). University is so flexible, it's excellent.
Please don't give up. You are so close to the end, you've just got that much more to go. It sounds like you are proud of your predicted score. Is there is a reason why you think you couldn't get roughly similar to that score in the exam?
Remember also, you are allowed to be stressed. Exams are inherently stressful. It sounds like you're being really hard on yourself for not 'doing more' and this is causing some overwhelming feelings for you, mixed with the comments your mother made. I'm wondering what that's like for you at the moment? Is there anything you could do to look after yourself during this time? Such as, maybe studying at a library away from your mother for the time being? Breaking down the study load into reasonable, manageable amounts per day? (Think S.M.A.R.T goals). Is there any self-care activities you can make time for in your schedule? For instance, my self care involves making time to watch my favourite show or buying myself a little snack I love to motivate me or reward myself for the amount of effort I've been putting in. It could also be things like making time to meditate before bed or in the morning.
I'm wishing you all the best of luck for your exam, don't hesitate to reach out again 💜
Hi @Lemon_Fox
Thank you for opening up. I completely get it as a person who also accelorated year 11 and did a 3/4 subject it is extremely stressful.
If I am being honest it sounds like you have done a lot of study and practice questions which is great! I know it can feel like its never enough but you will surprise yourself at how much of it you have absorbed once you get into the real exam. You are doing the best you can and that is all that you can do. Don't beat yourself up for taking occasional weekend breaks, thats called self care! You would probably burn out if you just studied all day everyday!
I am really sorry about the comments your mother has made. That is really disappointing to hear as form my perspective you seem like a highly driven and motivated academic! Don't let her words get to you. Do what you want to do. If you aspiration is to go to uni and study something then do it! At the end of the day if you end up not liking it you can always withdraw. Don't let someone elses opinion change your decisions though.
You are doing so well. For relieving the exam stress I would reccommend timetabling exactly what tasks and study you want to do each day and try to tick them off as you go. I find my anxiety goes down significantly when I an visiually see the completion of tasks. Makes things feel less overwhelming. It is hard to not feel stressed or guilty when you are trying to relax and unwind instead of study but it is so important. Just remind yourself that the time when you aren't studying are actually giving you the ability to study more consistently and avoid burnout and are therefore super necessary and helpful. Hopefully it helps a little.
I wish you the best of luck! It is so exciting getting towards the end of VCE exams. You got this!
Hello @Lemon_Fox
Looks like you are having a difficult time now and feeling quite stressed over the History exam that you have coming up.
I’m also sorry to hear that your mother had ended up hurting your feelings as well, it must be especially hard to take in at the moment, especially since you are stressed and sick as well.
In any case, has there been any known strategies you employ when you are feeling especially stressed before an exam, personally when I’m having unimaginable stress, I typically stop doing the subject and simply go out for more physical activity, as a means to sorta “expel” the pressure a bit
I’m in University now and have just finished my Honours Year, and would say that the stress for my Bachelor was quite relaxed and the work load was distributed quite well, my Honours Year was a tad more stressful but even so you are able to adjust your workload or how you approach Uni however you like, you can go Part Time if you think Full Time is too much workload to handle at a time after looking at the units, and you can always readjust how you approach Uni (e.g. Full Time to Part Time, if life circumstances creep out)
Overall, you get to control how you go about Uni and get the most out of your favourite subjects 🤩.
In any case, I hope that this relief you a bit of what is to come for Uni and hopefully you get to readjust yourself for the exam coming up ☺️
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