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Confused
I had a situation happen where one of my friends parents called my friend me, and then apologised when she realised she called my friend by the wrong name.
My friend then told her that people get me and her confused all the time. Something along those lines. Apparently we look like sisters so I guess it does happen often) One of the girls sitting next to me said “what a sad life” super nonchalantly. Not necessarily looking for a reaction but it was sort of out of nowhere.
My friend also told the parent that me and her often get told we look like twins. The girl did not comment on this - if she did I would of been more upset I feel as that’s obvious
Immediately my stomach drops and I think oh it must be because she gets confused for me and she must think who would want that, who would want to be me 😞 the girl next to her didn’t laugh so to say but was kind of stunned by her comment I guess. And did one of them giggles like what just happened awkward. But I mean it was so random and saying someone has a sad life is a little random even if it was just a off the tounge comment. Which I have to admit this girl can be rather blunt sometimes not necessarily meaning she has a sad life but meaning like that sucks sort of thing. My sister is like that aswell and so are her friends.
My friends pointed out to me and they know me and this girl very very well. That they think she was just meaning the fact that happens often sucks and must be annoying. I don’t think she cares that it’s me. Just that that happens in general. The inconvenience of it all and she herself would not would find that annoying always being confused for someone else. They told me they have never heard this girl say anything bad about me. My sister too saying the same. It was all just very random?? A couple times I have been like oh I get what she’s saying. Given the parent had just apologised for getting us mixed up and the fact my friend said it happens often in the tone she did, probably just picking up on the energy in the room and this being an inconvenient thing that happens often.
If she was you know whispering to her friend or laughing whilst saying it I would be more suspicious but she really wasn’t? It was just like she was adding to the convo like you do when you talk about anything or tell a story
Anyway, I couldn’t sit on it anymore. I had to talk to her about it. She told me no, she did not mean anything by it at all! (Exclamation mark included haha) We had quite a positive interaction/convo aswell so I felt calm by it all and that she was telling the truth/being genuine.
I’m a massive overthinker. I can’t take a joke. I take everything so seriously and have major anxiety and social anxiety issues. If you laughed near me I would think you are laughing at me type personality so I think that’s why I’m having a hard time getting over
Comments
Hey there @Cinnamon_Moose ,
Thanks for sharing what happened, your thoughts and how it unfolded. It's been really great in reading your thought processes and the actions you took in making things better. Rather than talk about someone behind their back etc and how they hurt you, you were able to face the situation and talk to the person directly.
And, voila! Look at what came of it! You should be very proud of yourself in being able to do this. I acknowledge it is not always easy to face a situation.
Do you think you would be able to do this again in the future? That is, when something has upset you, you do what you can to resolve the issue and speak to the person directly?
Once again, we acknowledge your strength in doing this 🙂
Hey there @Cinnamon_Moose ,
Thanks for sharing what happened, your thoughts and how it unfolded. It's been really great in reading your thought processes and the actions you took in making things better. Rather than talk about someone behind their back etc and how they hurt you, you were able to face the situation and talk to the person directly.
And, voila! Look at what came of it! You should be very proud of yourself in being able to do this. I acknowledge it is not always easy to face a situation.
Do you think you would be able to do this again in the future? That is, when something has upset you, you do what you can to resolve the issue and speak to the person directly?
Once again, we acknowledge your strength in doing this 🙂
Thankyou! I enjoy this forum as it is nice to get everything out of my head and talk with people that can help!
I defintely feel like i can talk to the person directly if anything arises for sure. It felt quite good and not as scary as you think!
My issue is, I cant remember if i wrote in my original story above. I did reach out to her but via Instagram (i dont have her number ect. and we live in different towns now) So it was done over text. After feeling really calm and like she was being genuine right after speaking with her.
Hours later I started to overthink! I kept thinking what if she didnt even remember, what if she was just saying what I wanted to hear ect.
But I guess that is probably just me overthinking. Overall it was a positive messaging experience. What she said was short and sweet. But, and this sounds so silly! but there is no tone when you a reading text. The way she wrote what she did sounded like she was being really really truthful and she didnt want me to thinkmor be upset over it anymore?
She said when I asked if she meant anything by what she said : "No, I didnt mean anything by it, at all!" She could of just been like "No, i didnt" or even just a "No" lol so I guess maybe she was being genuine.
I guess its just whyyyyy did she say it in the first place? We were all sitting close in a car. Maybe she was just contributing to the convo? I mean being confused for someone is typically not ideal anyway so that may of been why she repspinded the way she did. It sjust that I have this idea that she doesnt like me is too strong and overpowers everything even though I have little to know evidence and she intereacts with me ect. like she does others so idk.
I have always found it strange that no one notices and or has ever heard her say anything bad about me, which is a good thing. So maybe due to my preconceived ideas I am just making this all worse
Our brains are often geared to catastrophising - as a protective factor. This dates back to the cave people who always needed to be on the lookout for danger. Unfortunately, we have inherited and continued with this way of thinking well into the 21st century which means we often overthink things!
As much as it is perfectly normal, it may not be so helpful at the best of times.
Once again, you ought to be congratulated on being about to talk about what happened rather than avoid it. It sounds like the responses from your friend are genuine.
Now that you see you have a tendency to overthink, maybe this is the work you can do with a professional in the future?
Good on you 🙂
Ah good to know. That makes sense I guess. Its nice to get someone elses opinon too.
Also, she is someone I know I do wonder if she would consider me a frined as you have put it. As the girl who i got confused with we hang out all the time. the girl that said everything was another girl I know in the class below. We have hung out before and again its a small school so im sure she would have
anyway it happened a little while ago now and I guess given what yourself and everyone has told me maybe I should just stop thinking that everyone is agianst me and take her word for it! I mean I seem to be the only one that notices and no one has ever heard her say anything about me to their knowledge (atleast my sister and frineds) which also brings me back to the fact that I mayyy be assuming when really what im seeing and shes doing has other interepretations and im just assuming ita about me due to my own beliefs
And yes I will be seeking a professionals help shortly
thnakyou !!
Just wanted to add that it's great that you're able to come back to that fact that it might be about your own beliefs and also that you will be seeking some professional support. I can be so helpful to have that support in identifying our beliefs and thought patterns so that we don't become stuck in them.
Well done for taking that step and all the best with it 🙂