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First ever post !! TW
Hi everyone I’m a bit nervous to be writing this as my first post , but well here I am. I am a 19 year old female struggling with severe anxiety and moderate depression as well as family issues at home. I live with my mum and brother. I have been seeing a psychologist but they haven’t been very helpful so far 😞 they tried to tell me I have ADHD on the first visit , however I do not believe this is the case as I don’t run around a lot or become hypersensitive. I was then recommended to a specialist but the cost was going to be over $1000 and due to financial issues I can’t afford the assessment. I fight with my family almost every day and I often cry a lot , I find laying down on the ground helps me regulate my nervous system (especially after physical fights). My dad left when I was 2 , he sexually assaulted me but has now passed away. I’m also grieving the loss of my grandfather which makes matters worse , I felt he was the only one who understood me. My family is toxic they just tell me to put up with it but I know that’s not right at all. My goal was always to have a good relationship with my mother but I don’t think she feels the same way. She always tells me I need mental help but unfortunately isn’t aware that she too could benefit from it. I have no license so I always have to catch the bus to appointments as she never gives me lifts or gets me there on time and recently her friends have turned on me as I have been expressing that she was physically abusing me. I’ve had some dark thoughts lately , I could never self harm. A few days ago I ran away , I have never done this or ever felt like this before the only person I told was my Aunty and she then dobbed to mum but apparently it was for my safety and wellbeing but it really broke my trust. I have been kicked out of home in the past but been allowed back. I don’t have a lock on my door and can’t afford to move out or rent at the moment so any advice or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much if you actually read my thread and I have all the phone numbers I need from kidshelpline , headspace , beyond blue , the dv line and housing assistance as well as refuges and link2home within my area. Just wanted to add - Yes I work full time and pay $70 rent a week. (Expected to pay all other expenses myself)
Comments
Hi @babygirl2003 and Welcome to the online community! 👋
Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing a little about your situation with us. I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this right now. It sounds like an incredibly stressful and difficult situation to be in, especially without the support of your family. I can only imagine how hard it must be while also grieving the loss of your grandfather. It sounds like A LOT to be dealing with right now but I really admire how much strength your showing by just reaching out here today. Do you mind me asking if anyone else is aware of what has been happening at home?
You mentioned that you have been seeing a psychologist, do you mind me asking how long you have been seeing them for? Is there someone else that you might feel comfortable talking to about this?
I am mindful of the impact all of this must be having on you and wonder what kind of supports you have around you right now. You mentioned having the numbers for a few different services, do you mind me asking if any of these services have been helpful for you? If you would ever like to talk to someone, we encourage you to reach out to Kidshelpline as they are available at all times and can be reached via phone and by webchat. We also have a great article on Family services that might also be worth having a look at.
Just a little note to let you know that I have had to edit your post a little to fit with our community guidelines. I'm also going to send you an email, so please keep an eye out for that 😊
I just want to remind you that you're not alone and we're all here to support you.
Thank you for the reply Courtney. Not many people are aware of the situation as my mother is quite narcissistic and likes to keep our business "behind closed doors". Her friends have all sided with her and so has my family including my Aunty and Grandma. I have received some shocking messages from her friends saying I need to be kicked out. The only people I have right now to speak to are 2 close friends , my other Aunt and my cousin. It is really hard but I'm willing to seek help for myself which I believe is the right step. I have seen the psychologist for about 3 months now. I have spoken to the police and the other people I've mentioned. That is really the only support I have as the mental health team in my local area has closed my case and headspace turned me away due to a high demand on their waiting list. I'm trying to seek a cousnellor I have a very helpful gp and link2home was also excellent as they were able to provide me with temporary crisis accomodation and prove a $25 gift voucher to go towards food. Womens court advocacy service and the mental health line have both been good too 🙂 my kind aunt is trying to help me and she suggested I try ReachOut !!
Hey @babygirl2003 I'm sorry to hear that not many people are aware of the situation and that you have recieved such horrible messages. I can't even imagine how hurtful and horrible that must have been for you. No one deserves to go through this and to be made to feel like that, especially not by a family member.
I'm glad to hear that you have found support in link2home and your GP, among others. That is so lovely to hear! Do you mind me asking if you are currently in crisis accomodation or was this an offer that you have recieved previously?
I also want to say that I think it is so brave of you to have reached out for support and I think you should be so proud of yourself.
I hope you know that we're always here for you and we look forward to hearing more from you 💜