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I can't seem to do anything. Starting to really dislike myself.

I am at UNI and I legit can't do anything right. I am always handing things in late and I know I am going to fail at least one of my exams. I have had mental health problems before, but I have never had this real dislike almost hate of myself. I'm starting really hate myself. I hate how I look, I had that I'm dyslexic. I hate pretty much everything about myself. I can't seem to get over it. I honestly feel like I'm drowning.

Re: I can't seem to do anything. Starting to really dislike myself.

Hey @RubyR, welcome to RO Smiley Happy

 

It sounds like you're in a really difficult and overwhelming place at the moment! Sometimes we can feel pretty hopeless and unworthy when we're struggling with something in our lives, and uni is definitely one of those things which can be hard going. 

 

You mentioned that you have dyslexia - have you ever spoken to a Disabilities coordinator or taken out special consideration for exams or assignments for it? Most universities have some kind of disabilities support unit for students with physical or mental illnesses that can have a significant impact on a person's ability to study. Having dyslexia doesn't make you any less worthy of being at uni, it just means you might need to work on assignments a little differently to someone who doesn't have it.

 

It also kind of seems like your struggles at uni are starting to affect your mental health - especially since you mentioned that you've never experienced this kind of self-dislike before. What do you think about talking to someone about how you're struggling? Most unis will have a medical service on-campus with a counsellor or psychologist, so you could always start there.

 

 

Also, I just wanted to add that just because you're struggling at uni right now, doesn't make you a terrible person. Uni is hard (this coming from someone who also went to uni - and also struggled academically at one point), especially when you have mental health issues or learning issues like dyslexia. From experience, having support can really help you with uni.

 

Hope this helps Smiley Happy

Re: I can't seem to do anything. Starting to really dislike myself.

Heya @RubyR I'd have to say I've definately felt the way you are feeling at the moment - exams and exam stress at uni has a way of doing that to us. I remember it would be so easy to get lost in the "dislike" of myself when I was overwhelmed with what had to be done in this time of the year.

How are you doing this morning?

Re: I can't seem to do anything. Starting to really dislike myself.

@Sally-RO @safari93 Thank you for just saying something. I think I really needed to see that other people go through this. I am feeling better today. I had a very dark moment last night which is what prompted me to write something. @safari93 I have been to the disabilities coordinator and have everything sorted out for my dyslexia. Sometimes just living with it gets really hard. I have also booked in to go and see my doctor next week. Really though thank you for taking the time to say something nice. 

Re: I can't seem to do anything. Starting to really dislike myself.

@RubyR good on you for reaching out (pardon the pun) when you were struggling. And then again for speaking with your disability coordinator and making time to see your GP.
It takes courage to get the ball rolling when you're super down because it involves being vulnerable - something I know I often struggle with.
I just want you to know that you're not alone. Most people I know have gone through times in their life where they didn't like themselves. What I've noticed made the best difference is telling people - obvs people that you feel safe with.
I wish you all the best and i hope you're able to work past your struggles soon.