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I feel like an awful person
Lately my family have been calling me selfish and it’s really gotten to me now. I believe I do a lot to help out especially around the house. I think no one even notices anymore. For the past year or so, I’ve been mainly doing the chore work of inside. Where as my parents have been doing the yard work etc. But I don’t think they’ve done the dishes or even cleaned the bathroom area. It feels like it sometimes all on me. I sometimes feel unappreciated and I hate thinking like that because in my mind I know that they are tired from work. I mean they are adults who work 6-3/8-5. I sometimes feel like I don’t do anything good around the house and that my efforts aren’t enough. I feel selfish most of the time and that hurts me. I genuinely don’t know what to do.
Comments
I am so sorry that you are feeling this way and I want you to know that you are neither an awful person nor a selfish on from you you have shared. It is painful to not be recognised for your work and underappreciated so I hope that you know you are working hard and contribute your part to your family.
Communication is definitely a helpful tool to get your feelings across but I know it is not an easy step. I think your parents find it hard to understand and you can only try your best to explain from your point of view. Another thing you could do is to remind youself, like how me and others are doing right now, that you are doing your share and you can only do so much in a day as I believe that you also have other commitments. Self-validation is so important as you need to understand that you are being productive and trying to help where you can!
I would love to hear from you in the future regarding this situation. And I hope that you are taking care of yourself.❤️
you're not an awful person, it sounds like you're doing your best to help out and your family doesn't quite understand that. communication is key like i'm seeing other people say; tell them how you feel. wishing you the best and i hope they listen to you
Hey @Forest_lover111
Your feelings are very valid here. You have done your part for the family in a way that you are able to, you had cleaned the dishes, bathroom area etc.
While I think the problem of your family labelling you as selfish could be from that they are working most of the time and wouldn't have a clue on whose doing what chore work around the house. Maybe trying to communicate to them on what chores specifically you are doing as part of this family?
But remember, although you can communicate with them of the situation. It does not mean that they might want to hear it, which could lead to guilt tripping and continuing on interalising the idea of you being "selfish".
So remember, you have done your chores/parts around the house to the best of your ability. Don't let this situation belittle yourself!
Hey @Forest_lover111 ,
I totally get where you're coming from - it's so rough when you've been putting in consistent effort and being taking for granted.
It sounds like you're doing a lot for others (and even considering how they are feeling!) which is the very opposite of being selfish!
It can be hard not to internalise what others say even if you know it isn't the truth... I find this is especially the case for people who you care about.
You're doing the best you can and even if you aren't feeling appreciated right now, I hope you are able to see how lucky your family is to have you.
Best of luck with everything <333
Hey @Forest_lover111 thanks for reaching out, it's hard sometimes to let out frustrating feelings.
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling this way. It sounds like you've been putting in a lot of effort to help around the house and cleaning up, and it's awful to feel unappreciated.
Your feelings are valid, and it's completely normal to want some acknowledgment for your contributions. Have you had a chance to communicate your concerns with your family? Often being able to get these feelings in the open can help build some understanding around the way everyone feels and open a new line to talk through the household chores and maybe even create a plan with everyone to take turns around the house.
As someone with lots of siblings and having my parents work a lot, it's difficult to let them know that you're doing heaps around the house and not feeling the appreciation.
Remember to take time out if you need it, here's a link on communicating which might provide some ways to approach a talk with your parents 💖