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Never been asked out (Female)
I hear this view all the time: "Every girl gets asked out," or "Every female has to deal with a guy liking them" - maybe they get "checked out"? I find it strange that it's never happened to me, and while I should be thankful (at least that's what other girls that have experienced this, may think), I feel somewhat lonely. Not a single guy has asked me out, or even looked at me with sparkles in their eyes. I wonder what I'm doing wrong. I guess, I'm sometimes reserved, but with my friends, I feel outgoing. I have many academic goals, and I feel that I work on myself often - achieving what I set my mind on, and taking care of my skin, but it's strange that all of it seems unnoticed. I wonder if I'm the only girl that has never been asked out by a single guy. I don't hear about this situation often, so I keep wondering what I'm doing wrong.
Comments
Hey there @OneDayITellMyself
Don't worry, not being recognise in a more romantic way is pretty common. As I am also one of the many, just like you.
A reason why I think this hasn't happened is because of confidence and having somewhat of a goal in life that you are working on. If you are already proactive in developing yourself, some of the more troublesome people are more likely to avoid you as they would see you being a harder shell to crack.
Personally, I don't think you are doing anything wrong. You have academic goals, improving yourself, and do self care. I would think that you probably need the right time and place to get this opportunity.
Hopefully this helps!
From what you have shared, you feel like your efforts have not been recognised and that makes you very sad, is that right? I am sorry that you have to experience that and I want you to know that I am very impressed with your discipline and determination. You should first be proud of yourself, and I mean, celebrate your own goals!
And now for the other part, I want to let you know that you are not alone and I think it is more common than you might expect but because you don't hear it often, it might appear to be rare. I can relate to your experience and I want you to know that you are not doing anything wrong. Because there is no right answer! Throughout high school, no one asked me out once, and now that I am in uni, that still hasn't changed.
Every time I go out, even when I am by myself, my mind is so occupied with experiencing the moment and enjoying what is right in front of me that I never notice anyone approach me. And I don't mind it. The fact that no one approached me means I am content with my own company and I am having fun, so what else matters? I have never had a boyfriend before but I have had crushes, so maybe if you have a crush on a guy you can try to approach him first. I usually find that if I talk to a guy, I have a better feeling about whether we are more suitable as friends or lovers.
Lastly, I want to highlight that you are NOT doing anything wrong and I see the efforts that you are putting into yourself and your future.
Hope you are enjoying your long weekend, and if you want to share more, I am here for you too! 😁❤
Hey @Almond_Platypus
It's true...not being recognised has made me a little upset, but I'm relieved to learn that this experience is quite common - glad I'm not doing anything wrong 😌
I'm a uni student too! I admire your ability to be content after this experience. Hopefully, we meet our special someone soon haha! It's a great idea to first talk to a guy and figure out if we're compatible, but actually...I don't have guy friends or crushes at this stage 😅
Thank you so much for understanding where I'm coming from, and I hope you enjoy your long weekend too!!
I like how you're able to pinpoint your specific emotions and thoughts around this. I used to feel this way too. I remember feeling like the only girl in school who someone didn't have a crush on. I was reserved around most and very academic too. You're definitely not alone, I'm sure this is more common than you think. And yeah - it can feel like a lonely experience. Everyone wants to feel desired and important and having someone like you can fulfil that need.
I think being female sometimes can be difficult because we're more likely to receive unwanted attention, which is what those girls may be referring to when they discuss their experiences of being 'checked out' or 'having to deal with a guy liking them.' I've received a lot of unwanted attention since beginning adulthood, and it definitely feels different (in a more negative way) as opposed to having a genuine connection with someone and someone genuinely liking and respecting you.
Is there perhaps someone you might have a crush on that you could get closer with? Someone you have sparkles in your eyes for? Maybe you could approach this situation in the reverse, getting close to someone?
Hey @Green_Ghost
Thank you so much for understanding where I'm coming from, and I'm so sorry to hear that the kind of attention you experience isn't as genuine as I would think. It's tricky being a female, isn't it 😩
I'm not sure if I like anyone at the moment, but you're right...if I like someone, I could be the one to approach them and be the person I've always wanted someone to be for me haha 😄
Yes thats a terrific way of thinking of it - be the person you've always wanted someone else to be for you! Keep in mind that someone may come along and be that person for you, it just may take some time 🙂 remember to be kind to yourself during this time