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Umm. Friends?
What's up chaps. I've never been on here before so I thought I'd try it... Um, I'll start with something a little lighter. I have this friend, well, I have a few friends. But something about one of them- let's call them peanut 🥜 , just feels... Off? Like, my gut is telling me she has a serious problem, and that she might be a compulsive liar? I still care for her, but it's getting harder to endure being around her. AND my other friends too
Comments
Hey there! I get what you're saying—sometimes you just get that gut feeling, right? It’s tough when you’re friends with someone and things start feeling off, especially if they’re acting in ways that make you question their honesty. You obviously care for them, but when someone's behavior starts impacting how you feel around them and your other friends, that’s a sign something's up.
If you're starting to notice patterns of lying or inconsistency, it can be draining. And it’s not just about them, it affects you too, right? Like, trying to navigate a friendship where you’re not sure if what they’re saying is true or not.
Have you had a chance to talk to her about how you’re feeling? Sometimes, just a low-key conversation can clear things up, or at least give you a better sense of what's going on with her. But yeah, if it's hard to deal with her and your other friends are picking up on it too, it might be worth taking a step back and thinking about what’s best for you too.
I'm here if you wanna chat more about it!
Hi @BonafidePotato 
Alongside @KaizerBiker and @Beach_enjoyer2101 's suggestions, it could be helpful to raise these concerns to other close friends who know this person. Sometimes getting a third-party perspective or just seeing if your gut feeling agrees with others can help gague the situation, especially if they are a frequent liar. And be vigilant towards how this person affects relationships with others, I'm not at all saying this is the case but as an anecdote I had a friend in high school who ended up bulling five of my friends because her lies made it really difficult for us to realise what was really going on until it was too late.
In any case, you sound like you care about this person and how she is doing which is great and hopefully some more open communication can help you figure out what is going on.
Hello @BonafidePotato
Sorry to hear that you are having a bit of a dilemma with your friend at the moment as well as your other friends.
In terms of some suggestions, had you have a chat with your friend about these concerns? Has this “lying” been occurring quite frequently? It might be good to set up like a non-judgmental conversation if it is putting some strain on you. This article: 6 steps to help you tackle difficult situations could be helpful if you are short on ideas on how you might approach this issue (which can also apply to whatever happening between you and your other friends as well).
I feel you as well, sometimes I don’t understand or even questions how some of my friends approach certain things or behave and sometimes just having a good well-structured conversation does the trick, even though the initial stage of approaching the issue is very challenging.
In any case, I hope this was of some help and I wish you the best of luck with conversing with your friends.
Hello @BonafidePotato,
Merry Christmas and welcome to the online community. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I would love to see you around on the community.
From what you've said, it sounds like you've got one of your friends (thanks for going with peanut) who seems a little off, and this makes sense what you're talking about. If you don't mind me asking, is there a lot of things suggesting she's lying about stuff like her personal life or grades or just overall things she's talking about. Only reason I mention is because I have known people who feel 'off' as well and would brag about a lot of things like grades (although those turned out to be lies).
Your gut feeling is, she has a serious problem, and I agree with that. Again, I too know friends who all of sudden would act really strange, and although they were good friends, they wouldn't act like they usually would. I think it's safe to say we don't know what's going on in peanut's life as much as she doesn't know what is going on in you and your friend's lives. I reckon she's going through something really tough right now, like parents divorcing or loss of a loved one, or breakup.
I get that it's hard to be around her sometimes and it sounds pretty frustrating. What I've done with friends who have gone through similar phases like what you've described, I've chosen a good, relaxing time to text or call or chat and go "Is everything good with you?". I hope that she would appreciate a nice check in from a nice person like you.
Hopefully this helps and all the best. Thank you for your kindness and empathy as well with acknowledging your friend may have a problem in her life. 🎄✨
Ah yes, merry belated Christmas too haha. Thanks for your reply. There isn't a whole lot suggesting this, in fact, it's majorly speculation. But sometimes you just get that feeling you know?
I just noticed the way she tells stories, almost like... Tacking things on the end to embellish it, it seems? Like she tells the story, pauses for a moment, and then suddenly casually adds something on the end that seems extravagant or like something you wouldn't typically experience. And she does it so frequently I started wondering.
All these wonderful replies did suggest maybe talking to her, and I would but her personality isn't one that would take this very well. Particularly, she seems to have a slightly obsessive nature? Like, a little bit of a loose canon, and I think she struggles with something like depression, and she is always confiding in me. And that's all well and good and I'm happy to listen, but when I mention her getting help, etc, she says no she's fine. But I currently struggle a lot with my own problems, so I can't really handle her always confiding, which makes me feel awful to say.
I have sort of mentioned that issue before and stuff, but there's only so much you can say about something that sensitive? Anyway, she just throws me off, like um. She has called both my older brother, and my crush attractive, which rubbed me the wrong way a bit I can't lie.
Especially because she had her own crush she was obsessed over, and even kept hurting him because she refused to listen or think before she spoke.