Choosing the wrong jobs over & over
I feel embarrassed to post this but ever since starting my new job I have been feeling really down, depressed & crying some times as I feel like I’m on a downward spiral in my life. I had a job I loved so much but then I made mistakes & i felt I was being targeted & then I resigned. I then got a different job & I wasn’t happy & now I’m in my current job and I keep feeling like I’m not happy & I’m failing myself. I feel like my mental health has been a downward spiral & I’ve lost control of myself. I’m eating fast food & drinking soft drink everyday to give myself that tiny bit of energy to get through my day when I’m at work. I just don’t know how I can get out of this mess I’ve created.
Comments
Hey @green_racoon,
Thank you for sharing your situation with the ReachOut community. It takes a lot of courage to do this. I really hear how much you're struggling right now, and I want to acknowledge how tough it can be to feel like things are spiraling.
It sounds like you're carrying a lot of self-blame, but from what you've shared, it also seems like you're doing your very best to push through a really hard time. I know it can be hard to see it in the moment, so wanted to say that. 💛
Maybe a small first step could be showing yourself some kindness. Whether that’s reaching out for support, taking a break when you need it, or just reminding yourself that you're not failing, you're just navigating something really challenging.
I'm sending you hugs wishing you the very best moving forward. 😊
It sounds like you are going through a difficult time related to all this work stuff. Starting a new job can often be overwhelming, but you mentioned making mistakes in a previous job which might be making this harder. Sometimes in beginning a new job there is often a lot of fear that could be adding to your spiral and that's okay, it can take time to adjust to new changes.
However, it is important to take care of yourself are there any activities and interests you have that you have been able to do to help you focus less on what's going on at work? These can just be small activities to do after work that are important to you. These could be listening to a podcast, going for a walk, reading, knitting, etc anything that can take your mind away from it. In one of your comments you mentioned you like going for drives to explore could you add this in for something to do on the weekend? You also mentioned that going for drives can be expensive would opting for a walk give you the same space of mind and be less expensive?
With the way of eating and drinking, do you have a water bottle that you take to work instead of a soft drink or at home? I always have my water bottle sitting near me so I never feel the need to drink something else. And with food are you having fast food because it's easy to get and you don't have the energy to make meals?
You mentioned in one of the comments as well that you talk to your family and that's great but Reach Out has a great service called peerchat. Also, have you thought about speaking to another professional or even your manager at work? I understand that at a new job, it can be hard to bring these things up with your boss and if you don't like the job they might be able to provide some clarity and expectation to the role and give small steps to achieve things at work.
Sometimes with a new job, it can take a moment to get your footing so don't be too critical of yourself, you're doing better than what you probably think you are.
Heyy @green_racoon
Firstly, I just wanted to acknowledge how brave it was to post about this. The conversation around finding, keeping and maintaining a job can sometimes be really overblown and overwhelming.
Of course, you need one to sustain a living but I don't think people talk enough about actually enjoying the work or the environment it creates. You acknowledged that one of your jobs didn't make you happy - which is a great example of establishing those boundaries.
You mentioned in the comments how you loved your previous team - which is so special! Sometimes it can be really hard to form that relationship with co-workers. Are you still in contact with the ones you had a good experience with?
If you are, or want to reach out - maybe you guys can plan some movie catch ups? Its a great hobby and it can give you the energy to get through the day because you have something to look forward to :))
Please let me know 💕
Hey @formulafrenzy,
Thank you for your reply, unfortunately my previous team was told inaccurate information about me & no longer get in contact. Being completely honest I don't have any friends, not even one & I believe that and also now after resigning from my job is causing me to feel lonely & isolated. I don't have anyone to talk to but I am trying to work on my social skills & build up my self confidence.
Hey @green_racoon
It sounds you're really overwhelmed by this situation at the moment, and I hear your efforts. So do the people on this forum - it may feel like you're venting into the void but you absolutely have the support and people to talk to online.
It sounds like you're frustrated because you've been misunderstood which may lead you to feel stuck in other areas of your life. You also acknowledge your efforts to want to work on this which is arguably the most important thing!
It seems like you want to work on: employment, building your support network, health and confidence.
Maybe we should focus on one of these areas at a time. I would personally start with the job. Just getting somewhere and building a routine might unconsciously build your confidence and social skills back up again. Retail or fast food for example. From your initial post you expressed employment to be a pretty pivotal aspect of your mental health - which is understandable, its an environment you're in often!
This isn't to say making friends is now on the backburner - but trying to a balance these goals at once may feel very exhausting and lead to feelings of discontent, discouragement and feeling down. Personally, making friends is always the hardest, but building up to that goal and then fully pursuing it when you're feeling more like yourself is even more rewarding.
I hope this helps 🫶
Hey @formulafrenzy
That's exactly what I want to work on, good news I have found employment & currently in process of completing onboarding/modules. I still want to work on building my support network, self confidence & health.
Hi there @green_racoon
It sounds like you're going through a really hard time right now with this new job. From what I can hear, it sounds like you wish you didn't have to leave your old job because you loved the old job. I can understand that feeling of getting a job and absolutely not vibing with it, and falling into a cycle of not taking the best care of yourself as a way of coping.
Is there any activities you like to do that could give you some energy throughout the days at work? Maybe going for a quick walk, or listening to a song that makes you happy?
What's your routine for winding down when you get home? Do you have any self-care in place? 🙂
Hey @green_racoon
it is so sad to hear to hear that you are suffering from a rough patch at work. I appreciate you actually posting about it and asking for help, you don't need to be embarrassed about asking for help. starting a new job can sometimes make us feel like we don't belong here and are not happy with how everything works especially if you were happy with previous work and you were required to resign due to specific circumstances. I hope you will get used to the new system and work eventually. I know such situations about not being happy can take a toll on mental health.
Also, you always take a break from things they get overwhelming, I would like to ask you here do you have a self care routine that could help you relax for a bit after a stressful day? If the job is too much to handle for you, itis always good to look for a new one which you like while continuing the present job for the time being.
sending you virtual hugs🤗
take care💜
Hey @Figuring_out, I really appreciate your response & tips. I find going for a drive really helps but also can get expensive doing it every day. I am currently looking for a different job & definitely in a better head space then yesterday.
Hey @green_racoon
Starting a new job is really difficult. It’s so easy to feel like you don’t know what you’re doing or what the correct thing to do is. There’s a whole new system to learn and new people to meet. It’s a lot and it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and even depressed. Hopefully, in time things will start to feel easier as you gain more confidence in your abilities. But the job may also just not be the right fit for you, and that’s okay. It may take some time to work out which option is the correct one.
What did you love about your previous job? Is there anything similar in your current job? How long have you been working at your new job? Would it be possible to give yourself a timeframe to see if things can improve? Feeling like you’re in a downward spiral is tough. It’s really important to continue looking after yourself. Your mood can be reliant on how you are physically. If you can, prioritise your physical health.
Ultimately, it’s not worth sacrificing your mental health for a job. In saying that I recognise it’s not that simple to find another job. It may be beneficial to focus on your life outside of work. Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy?
Hey @Lapis_Anteater, firstly thank you for your comment & helpful tips. At the start of my original job I loved it cause of the team I was working with at the time. The job after that I was only in for a month, then I got accepted to my current job first week this week. I just find that it's different to what it advertised & not what I was wanting or expected. I don't have any hobbies currently but I like going for drives to explore.
Hi @green_racoon 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing. Please never feel embarrassed about reaching out for support with what you're going through - you're doing great by speaking up, even when it feels tough. Well done for hitting that post button despite feeling uncertain!
I’m really sorry to hear that things feel like they’re spiraling right now. It seems like you’ve had a rough time with work lately, starting with stepping away from a job you loved, to having a hard time settling into new roles where you don’t quite feel confident yet. It’s completely understandable that you’re feeling so impacted by this. We spend so much time and energy at work, when it's not fulfilling us or we are feeling overwhelmed, it really can take a toll on us.
If you’re comfortable, I’d love to hear a bit more about what you do for work. When did you start your new role? What aspects of it do you enjoy, and which parts are more challenging for you? Feel free to share as much or as little as you like, getting a clearer picture might help in understanding what you’re going through.
I’m also curious about your support system right now, both at work and in your personal life. Do you have anyone at work helping you adjust to the new job? And outside of work, is there anyone supporting you with your mental health?
You’ve probably heard this before, but having a self-care routine can really help you decompress after a challenging day at work. Is there anything you’re already doing to take care of yourself on those tough days? Or perhaps something you’d like to try next time to unwind?
Thank you again for reaching out and sharing what's on your mind. Take care and go easy on yourself 😊
Hey @Lily_RO, thank you for your response & helpful tips. So currently a car washer/detailer, started this week but I soon realised after that it's different to what was on the job advertisement & not what I was wanting or expecting. I don't have any work friends or friends in general, I have no social skills & I really want to improve that. I do talk to family though and that does help. I dont have a self care routine but I find going for a drive helps but I would like to develop one.
Hi @green_racoon ,
It’s very normal to feel socially awkward sometimes. It sounds like you’re open to meeting new people at work, and had a good experience working with your previous team before the situation that led to your resignation. You probably have more to offer than you give yourself credit for. In case you find this helpful, I’ve linked a guide here too.
It’s encouraging to hear that you’re already looking for other job opportunities and you’ve found it helpful to talk things through with your family. Going for a drive sounds like a great way to help clear your mind. Here are some additional tips for self-care you might be able to consider. Hope the job hunt goes smoothly and looking forward to seeing you back in the community 🙂
Hi @Ripple_RO thank you for for those helpful tips & I have read through the links provided. Is there anything else I can do to find it easier to make friends & socialise?
Hi @green_racoon , it's great seeing how enthusiastic you are to find tips and strategies to help you build friendships. If you'd like to hear more suggestions and discuss some options, we have a free one-on-one PeerChat service where you can talk to a peer worker who may have had a similar experience. In the meantime, the community is here to support you as you build your social skills too!
