Hello @Bean99 

Sorry for coming into this conversation out of the blue. I am so sorry about what you went through and what you are feeling. Family and academic burden can be very heavy.

As an International student myself, I also feel the pressure and need to be successful (for my family). One of my biggest motivation in life/uni is my family as I really want to repay them and make them proud. I don't know your situation that well but for International students (like me), money can also be part of the problem. It is expensive to study abroad and I feel like if I fail, there is no coming back and I will disppoint my parents. I wonder if you feel something similar?

I also understand the situation with crying and vulnerability. When I talk about my problems I also tends to cry which sometimes can be an inconvenient trait. If you want to talk to counsellers and other people for advices without crying, maybe have a list of things you are concerned about? I find having something in written form helps me run things through my head so I am more prepared to talk about them.

Hope this helps and hope you feel better soon. Don't hesitate to reach out, sending virtual hugs.