Righto, I'm off to re-watch all the excellent gender diversity videos on the youtubes YAY XD ... View more

Thanks everyone! Loved stopping by for such awesome gender diversity chats :) ... View more

Another question we got sent in advance of tonight is:   "A lot of people seem to say that gender is binary, and that anyone who doesn't believe they fit within the two categories is deluded, sick, and/or just trying to be "special" or get attention. Are they right or wrong, and how do you know? "        The gender binary is certainly socially constructed – based on many stereotypes and cultural aspects.   Despite what we’re commonly taught, even physiological sex isn’t binary as intersex people make up about 1.7% of people. This makes intersex differences about as common as red hair. Find out more about intersex here: https://oii.org.au/allies/   But there are a range of gender customs across the world that are neatly illustrated with this fab map that I posted earlier   Even the British Museum has a collection that shows gender diversity throughout history     So yup they’re wrong basically ;) hahaha *cheeky* ... View more

Yeah Soz @Bay52VU - I have a lot to say on this topic if you couldn't tell ;) ... View more

Also, go easy on yourself - if you need to say something that isn't the whole truth or is a way of getting the situation over with if you're not feeling up to it, that's OK. Sometimes I've just said that cutting my hair was more practical, or that wearing a binder is better for my back. That's partly true but not the whole story, but it was all I could manage saying at the time and THAT"S ALL GOOD. We have to be kind and generous with ourselves and that means working with the spoons we have at the time :) ... View more

One of the anonymous qus we got sent for tonight is:   “I want to start presenting differently to feel more like myself, but I'm worried that people will make incorrect assumptions about my reasons for "changing" or about my sexuality. I don't want to 'come out' or start a conversation - I just want to feel like a more authentic version of myself. Is there anything I can do to combat those worries and just get started, and what should I say if/when people try to ask me about it?"                                                                                       My answer is: I know this sort of circumstance can be tough – when you want to affirm who you are without having to spend heaps of time explaining all of what it means (and doesn’t mean!) Feeling ready to make some changes like this can feel easier if you plan for a few possibilities. It’s understandable if people want to check in with where you’re at when you’re changing things up too, so having some really simplified explanations that work for you can be a good way to go. Some short responses like: “I’m just being a more authentic version of myself” “I’m just doing me” “I just wanted to express myself differently” /more freely / accurately/ truthfully” “I’m just exploring gender expression” “I just feel more comfortable this way”  …or that kind of thing could work for some of us. I know I personally vary in my responses depending on who’s asking, and the where and when of the circumstances. So have a think through who and what circumstances you might vary your responses to questions that you’re worried about and maybe have a few versions of answers to those questions. You might also feel like having some useful info resources in mind and at the ready to give to people so they can inform themselves and not have to rely on you explaining yourself to them. When I came out about my gender diversity more widely I used the following resource in particular: www.roostertailscomic.com/comic/queer-101-third-edition/ Reachout’s gender diversity info is pretty handy too: au.reachout.com/all-about-sex-and-gender au.reachout.com/wellbeing/personal-identity/gender And one of my other faves is Beyond Blue’s Families Like Mine resources which as a super good Gender Diversity section (pp. 28-46) J beyondblue.org.au/familieslikemine Aaaand then, once you feel like you’re as prepared as possible, you just have to jump in and do the things you want to do to feel more comfortable. Sometimes, after lots of preparation and anticipation, people barely notice or respond to the changes. Other times you’re really glad you thoroughly prepared yourself! Do any of you have anything you'd say to answer this? ... View more

Yeah that's a really good answer @Bay52VU ... View more

Some other placeswe can we learn more about gender diversity(including some I've already posted) are:    Reachout’s gender diversity info is pretty handy: reachout.com/all-about-sex-and-gender reachout.com/wellbeing/personal-identity/gender Other resources I think are useful include roostertailscomic.com/comic/queer-101-third-edition/ scarleteen.com/article/bodies/genderpalooza_a_sex_gender_primer everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/6-common-mistakes-trans-allies/  and other trans related articles by the folks at Everyday Feminism http://everydayfeminism.com/?s=trans And one of my other faves is Beyond Blue’s Families Like Mine resources which as a super good Gender Diversity section (pp. 28-46) J org.au/familieslikemine https://www.google.com/maps/d/u/0/viewer?mid=zR6XQGgU43Yk.kSOH_OQiDFGM -  map of world gender customs https://minus18.org.au/index.php/resources/sexuality-info The Minus18 Pronouns Resource pack https://minus18.org.au/index.php/resource-packs/pronouns This useful pronouns practicing resource http://www.practicewithpronouns.com/ The Ally Project from Victoria, Australia has great resources about how to be an ally to trans and gender diverse people allyproject.org The QLives short films that were recently released that are all on the QLife Australia YouTube channel. and pretty much all the videos on FC's youtube trans and genderqueer playlist :)   ... View more

What can you do to support someone else who might be questioning their gender or transitioning? Offer your support and affirmation. Use the correct pronouns and name and apologise when/if you slip up. Be informed and read up on ways you can be an ally and knowledgeable about the needs of trans people.  http://everydayfeminism.com/2013/01/trans-etiquette-101/ and the rest of the resources that I"ll post at the end /below are good places to start. ... View more

Good qu @Ben-RO - I agree with @Rainbow Lane and also having name and pronoun stickers in some group situations can be helpful :) ... View more

To learn more about using gender neutral pronouns i recommend these resources:   The Minus18 Pronouns Resource pack https://minus18.org.au/index.php/resource-packs/pronouns This useful pronouns practicing resource http://www.practicewithpronouns.com/     The Ally Project from Victoria, Australia has great resources about how to be an ally to trans and gender diverse people too :)allyproject.org ... View more

Addressing gender in social situations can often be tough. What can we do to make sure we are inclusive and make space for all genders? Easy first steps can include using gender neutral language such as they/them/their pronouns, saying people/friends/folks/everyone instead of “ladies and gentlemen” etc. ... View more

Maybe pick someone that you feel safe and comfortable to talk to about it and get support from before contemplating telling other people in your life. ... View more

Then start thinking about what you need, want and can start to do to affirm who you are safely. For some people it's to start exploring pronouns or what they wear. For some poeple it's to start an online profile that affirms their gender. For lots of peeps at FC, they start there by having a safe social space to use their preferred name and pronouns and dress how they feel comfortable. ... View more

I would recommend that someone inform yourself, find others who understand what you're going through (online or IRL or both!), be true to who you are, give yourself the time to figure out what things mean for you and what's right for you ... View more

Definitely @j95 although some of us would also say it's more about not being happy with how others see us too/instead   So next question:    What is involved in transitioning from one gender to another? Do all transgender people take hormones and/or have surgery?   There is no one (or two) way/s to transition and not all trans and gender diverse people take hormones or have surgeries to affirm their gender. Some people just take social measures like expression, name or pronoun changes. Some poeple just have hormones. Some people just have surgeries.   What do you all think? do you have any qus form that? ... View more

This is another video that is pretty useful for explaining the basics :)  ... View more

It is confusing @j95 - even to those of us whose experiences are non-binary. Just starting to get to know different perspectives and definitions is super amazing :) ... View more

Some common challenges include ignorance and misunderstanding of gender diversity is widespread so dealing with people who don’t’ get it can be frustrating and draining. BUT there’s also heaps of people who do get it so find them and spend time with people who understand you and your gender. Be informed and equip yourself with info resources that will help you when you need it. ... View more

Yeah all good @FootyFan26. Check out the thread later if you feel like hearing more for the other resources/links I include as we go along :) Thanks for joining us :) ... View more

for me my non-binary gender is about how my social roles don't relate to the gender binary, my sense of self doesn't relate to traditional concepts of gender, and that fact that I feel more comfortable being perceived as both/neither of the binary genders. eg. I wish I looked more androgynous ... View more

Binary refers to two – so the two legal and commonly recognized genders in our society. If your gender is non-binary, it doesn’t fit into one of the two genders that are commonly accepted. ... View more

This distinction is particularly important to some asexual and aromantic people which you can find out more about here:   but we digress from gender... :) ... View more

Yeah - for sexuality there are different aspects too @j95 - so romantic attraction might be different from sexual desires and attraction for some poeple ... View more

One cool way to see how gender is socially contructed is to see that there are a range of gender customs across the world which are neatly illustrated with this fab map     You can watch a short National Geographic clip about one of the examples on the map, from Indonesia in southern Sulawesi here too:    ... View more

Another aspect related to gender that some people feel is really relevant in their lives (especially trans, gender diverse and gender non-conforming people) is 'perceived gender' which may be influenced by your physiological sex characteristics and/or your gender expression. ... View more

Another of my fave ways to visually go through sexuality, sex and gender is this neat-o 'Queer101' comic by Roostertails :)   http://www.roostertailscomic.com/comic/queer-101-third-edition/  ... View more

some people like visual assistance in understanding these things :) Have any of you seen the Genderbread Person or the Gender Unicorn? ... View more

But being trans is about your sense of self, not about romantic relationships. But you're right that gender is relevant in relationships because of the need to feel like people see and understand you similarly to how you see and understand yourself. When our bodies and how others see us doesn't mathc how we see ourselves in regards to gender, that's what we call 'gender dysphoria' ... View more