Hey @foodismyfave   It must be stressful juggling all those responsibilities at once. I can't even imagine what that's like, I could barely manage uni and work at the same. But to your question, you pretty much answered it yourself with your last line. How can you help if you can't help yourself. You can't. We're not in a person to help others when we are not feeling the best. Would a heart surgeon perform an operation when they are unwell? Would a pilot fly a plane if they become anxious? I mean they can but the results won't be pretty.    We got to take care of ourselves first. If you get more stressed out you might find yourself dealing with the same stuff your friend is going through and now you both are in a slump and that's not helpful for either of you. You're very caring for looking after your friend and being there when they need it. It's okay not to be always there for someone because let's face it, that's rarely possible. We're just setting unrealistic expectations that can be hurtful in the long run.    You can try texting your friend less, being there when they really need it. Or you can tell them straight up you need some time to yourself. If they are ever in danger or things get too hard, suggest them to go see a doctor/psychologist because you are not equip to deal with that (no offence). I know it might sound selfish but sometimes you have to put yourself first.  ... View more

Hi @Brokengirl1234   Welcome to heartbreak. It's a shitty horrible feeling that you're dragging along wherever you go. Love is strange, weird, wonderful etc etc. But the most important thing to understand about love is that it's a two way street. Doesn't matter if you loved them infinitely but if they don't love you then there's no way the relationship can go ahead. You being so sure doesn't mean or suggest he was sure at all, especially since you said he was not great at communicating. Also love can be blinding, maybe you didn't see the signs or chose to ignore the red flags that the relationship was declining because you were just so in love.   You don't deserve it the hurt but it happens. We take the risk to fall in love and sometimes it bites us in the ass and we get our hearts broken. You didn't do anything wrong, sometimes love just fizzles out. Doubt there was anything that you could have done to save the relationship.    I'm sorry that you're not sleeping well and can't concentrate or be able to eat. Things will slowly get better in time. Try not to beat yourself up too much about the breakup. Negative thinking doesn't help and there's no point thinking about the what ifs. It sucks that your friendship circle is the same because my suggestion is to focus on your other relationship and hopefully forget about your ex. in time.   ... View more

Hi @Tashbear221   May I ask what you're wanting to talk to him about? Is he being too over protective?    Are you nervous because you think he won't like what you have to say or is it something else? ... View more

I mean if it's a dream then it's what we live for right @Blurryphaced? Don't we all want our dreams to come dream no matter how grand or impossible it may seem? Shouldn't we owe it to ourselves to at least try?    Maybe you can tell your parents that is it a new hobby, surely they would allow this? Don't have to tell your parents that you're giving up school to pursue this etc.  ... View more

Hi @Nightwing   I know that feeling of trying to hold on to the relationship anyway you can or make any excuse for your partner but at the end of the day that's unhealthy relationship.    Talking to someone isn't cheating but saying I love you is on the edge. Even though she didn't say it back, the fact that she didn't tell you about it is concerning. Personally I would break up with her due to the answer for your third question. I wouldn't trust her.    It seems like you are quite caught up in the relationship and might be ignoring the red flags. It might be hard to be alone/single but it would hurt in the long run. A case of ripping off the band-aid or slowly pealing away at it. ... View more

Hi @Me-know-it-all   That sounds like a great time! I would have considered that as a casual date as it wasn't planned or seomething. You two definitely have a connection.    I wouldn't tell him that you are falling for him since you two work together and that might make it weird. You said he had a girlfriend before, maybe try to see if he is bisexual and out him out on more casual dates to see if he feels the same way. Having crushes are great and sucks at the same time :( ... View more

Hey @redhead   Sorry that you didn't get into your desired course. Have you looked at different pathways? Sure you might not get there right now but eventually you will!   But I got a question for ya, those other people that failed to get into their course, are they worthless and useless too? I'm thinking your answer is going to a no. So why would you be worthless and useless then?   I think we disappoint ourselves more than we can disappoint any one else. There is no right way or one way to cope with disappointment. Time heals all wounds I guess. Hopefully after a while the feeling will go away on its own. What is done is done and now focus on the other ways for you to reach your goal.  ... View more

Hi @Miochi30   Of course it's okay! Feel free how ever you want to feel!   Although a word of caution since you did say your crush was straight. You may not get the result you are hoping for so try not to set any expectations.  ... View more

Hi @imsolonely   I know how that feels and it is soul crushing. I have slowly moved on for that, I think it's a negative way our brains think. I know my friends now care about me but they'll never message me first, that's just the way they are I guess. But I try to make the effort to message them just saying 'hey, what's up' and they'll reply with something stupid like 'the ceiling'.    Have you ask them to hang out or are you waiting for them to ask you? There's nothing wrong with you, and why do you say they don't like you? What isn't there to like?    Everyone feels content at different levels. Some people don't even feel lonely even when they are by themselves (those rare people out there), some just need the company of a pet animal while others need like a huge group for them not to feel lonely so it all depends.    Maybe volunteer at a place you're interesting in? Or get a job at a place that's fun, like a rock climbing gym or a book store? Remember that even if we don't have friends now, it doesn't mean we won't ever have friends.  ... View more

Hi @Tinkmatter   There's a lot factors that you have to consider here.    If you were to choose your partner, where would you sleep? If you guys break up, what then? Do you have enough money to support yourself?    If everything is good, in terms of you have a plan for everything then I would definitely suggest you go off with your partner. We have to remember that it is our lives we live. Our parents shouldn't be able to dictate our lives.  ... View more

Hi @SakuraN   Congratulations on your new job! How exciting! Moving out is equally exciting!   Each to their own. $850 per fortnight is plenty for me to live off of but it might not be for you. You might like expensive food, go out to eat or party that others might not do. Meaning you would need more money. If you just live a pretty modest then it should be enough if all the other bills are paid for.    I personally would save up more before I would move out. Two weeks rent saved is no way near enough considering they would be asking you for a bond and that would varies from a week rent to a month upfront.    Also another thing to consider is that how much money you would get if the shifts are reduced since you're a casual. You don't want to move back in with your parents after moving out haha. I suggest you save as much money as you can until you mum pretty much kicks you out. You would be much better knowing you have things covered for a few weeks or months than having to worry about the financial side of things!   Good luck! ... View more

Hi @Miochi30   I've got good news or bad news depending on how you want to look at it. You will get plenty of crushes in your life! It's a great and horrible feeling at the same time!    The most obvious reason why your friend is not talking about it is probably there's nothing to talk about. He knows you like him and he knows you know that he's straight. So nothing is going to happen. It is pretty awkward letting friends know that they aren't interested in them so maybe he's been avoiding that.   Luckily crushes go away in due time depending on how you approach it. The longer you linger on the idea or on the person, the longer the feeling will last. You'll have to some how move past him, stop thinking about it in that etc. It sucks but they'll be other people in your life so try not to be too down on it. ... View more

Hi @Dleehy2002   In my experience, I believe if you ever question your own sexuality then you're not straight as you thought you were. You don't necassarily have to be bi- or gay, it could just be that you're open to experiences which is 100% fine! A lot of people question their sexuality so it's actually more common than you might think. ... View more

Look @Taffu, if you hang out with extroverts they are going to attract extroverts of the opposite sex. And most of the time.extroveets won't like introverts. That's just how it is unfortunately. I'm not saying to ditch your friends but you are looking for a partner in the wrong place. Maybe expand your activities to where introverts would likely go to for example book clubs or art galleries/museums.    Let's not go down the ally of the whole 'nice guy' situation. Everyone should be nice to each other. Simply being nice to the opposite sex doesn't mean anything because it should be a common practice. ... View more

Hi @lc_5704   Memories are great to have. The good and the bad. Obviously we like to have more good memories than the bad. At the end of the day these are just memories. I'm sure a lot of people in the forums go over our own memories wish we did things differently and wonder how things would have turned out. But we can't live in the past. Like you said, your friend moved on to better things and so should you. Keep the good memories of your friend, and makes new memories with new friends. Don't be stuck in the past and get left behind.  ... View more

Hi @Jaredlange1   It's very nice of you to be caring for your friend in times of need. Sometimes people just might not want to speak about things and we can't force them to. All we can do is to offer our support and if they want to talk then they will reach out to you. If you keep on pushing she might respond however the more likely result is that she will withdraw even further. Let her know that you're there for her and check up on with a simple how are you every couple of days.  ... View more

Hi @Taffu   Relationships are great, until you have to break up with the other person ha. You develop a strong bond with another person and connect both on a spiritual and physical level. Someone that just completely understands you. It's great fun. Of course, like I said there a break up. Most younger relationships tend to end up in heartbreak. The 'high school sweet heart' rarely happens, only in movies are those a common occurrence. Most people develop love relationships from university, work or a friend of a friend.    Try not to feel like a loser. Being in a relationship does not define who you are and what you are worth. Many are in and stay in abusive relationships just because they don't want to be alone. Try to think of being single one experience and being in a relationship another experience. Right now you're just experience one part and soon you'll be able to experience another.  ... View more

Hey @dragon3   Things sound really hard for you, those negative thoughts are eating you alive. Try not to feel stupid because all your thoughts are valid. You know right from wrong but something our urges get the better of us and we can't help that. Try not to be so hard on yourself.    I'm sorry about that loss and your situation. Life is very unfair but we have to make the best of it. Stick it to the man. Can't let this thing called 'life' beat us, can we now? ... View more

Hi @dragon3   Love is complicated, everyone will tell you that. I don't think there's such a thing as 'love at first sight', that's just lust. I mean how can you possibly love someone you have no idea about? Just because they are super attractive you fall in love?    What I'm going to tell you, you have already said. One day it's going to come down to this. The fear being in love or the fear of being alone. Which would you rather prefer? The feelings you get when you fall in love or when falling in love are what makes love exciting and an experience nothing else can replicate however it does sound like it's a bit too overwhelming for you. Next time, go with the flow. I know you're over thinking a lot of this and probably can't help that but try to empty out those thoughts. And take things slow, maybe that will also help with the emotion overload that you experience. ... View more

Hi @TaeTae   Relationships are hard, there's always risks to going in a relationship. Like if you break up, your previous friendship with them might be lost etc. The fact that you're doubting your potential romantic relationship with said person already is not a good sign. I guess you already have an idea of what you really want (being single during Christmas) so might as well stick to what your heart tells you.    A simple 'I'm not ready for a relationship' should be a good enough reason and if your friend is mature enough then everything should turn out A-Okay. I think deep down you already know what you want to do, maybe just looking for some confirmation?  ... View more

Hi   @Mstar123   Sucks to hear that. I bet it must be hard with something being so essential to your daily work being taken away.    Sometimes the best option isn't to get out of the funk as soon as possible. I'm not saying you should stay in the dark place but it is a time where you can reflect. In time you'll slowly but automatically get out of the funk after you have gotten use to the new routine.   It sounds like you have a plan in regards to what you will do without your car which is great to see. Other than that, pretty much the only thing left to do is to learn from your mistakes and try not to do it again in the future.  ... View more

Blackmailing is serious, and maybe illegal though I'm not too sure. It is best to change the habit before you get into trouble.    Why you do you record these conversations? For fun? Or do you intend to hurt them if they ever wrong you?    And how would you feel if they did the same thing to you?  ... View more

Hey @Elle8   I understand that feeling of being surrounding people but feeling still incredibly alone. It must be hard like you said.    I don't know if it's a comfortable thing for you as it is with me. I'm usually surrounded by really nice people however not really what I would call friends because I don't know them that well.   Maybe it's a belonging issue where you don't feel like you belong with the group you're with so you feel isolated. Maybe it's a connection thing where you don't you have a deep connection with the people you're talking to? I'm not sure exactly you're feeling isolate as there could be multiple reasons.    For me anyway, it took awhile for me to feel like I wasn't alone ever when I was with a group of people. As I got more comfortable with them and I was able to express myself more and I felt I was more connected with them.   I hope those feelings go away soon.  ... View more

Hello everybody!   1. Have you heard of Movember before? If yes, have you ever been involved with it?   Yes I have and I love the concept, however I can not grow a mo or any facial hair even if my life depended on it haha. It's my genes, don't have that going for me so I never participated in the event.  ... View more

Hi @BuzzingJuneBug   It depends, distance is already hard enough but if this is just crush or this feeling is not reciprocated by the other party then I think it's best to give it up. It's not worth it in my opinion to pursue low chance love stories but then again it's what fairy-tales/movies are out made of so...   If you want to go ahead and continue, make sure it does not become an unhealthy one way obsession. You see it in a lot of people regarding celebrities these days, it's not good at all.    In terms how to deal with it, it would be the same as any other relationship but instead of saying the stuff you would face to face, you have to text it to the other person. Instead of hanging out, you just can't. That's why people find long distance relationships really hard. The options are honestly really limited in what you can do.  ... View more

Damn, that's more courage than I have that's for sure @TheHamburglar23! But I think it means nothing, some people fidget when they have a conversation, just a habit maybe?    Try having a conversation with her again, this will give a much more indication of whether she wants to continue to talk to you or just leave her to do her own thing.  ... View more

7. Do you think society puts too much pressure on those sitting exams? How can we lessen the pressure?    Oh yes no doubt about it. There's a consensus in society that if you don't go to university, you're failure which is utterly untrue. The fact is that the majority of the population don't actually go to university and the majority live similar lives. Of course if you're going to be some lawyer or doctor you're going to have a much better live in terms of income than a lot of people.    Doing a trade, going to TAFE are great options. Honestly university is overrated. Don't go unless your dream jobs requires it. We can lessen the pressure by acknowledge there are other ways to living a 'successful' life. Changing the stigma of what 'success' is. Terrible example but it has it's merits. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs were both college drops out, what does that say about college? (Again, pretty bad example because they are absolute geniuses and we are not ha). ... View more

Hello everyone!   When you were in high school what did you want to do? Or if you still are in high school, what do you want to do?   I knew what I wanted to do in year 10 after years of having no clue. Try to remember that once you find what you want to do, it doesn't mean you that you are stuck or trapped in that occupation. People can change their mind and their careers, mid-way through university, after it, in their 30s or 40s.     3. Did your exam marks affect what you ended up studying? Are you liking what you are currently doing?   Haha, my marks were no where near the course I wanted to get into. Luckily these days there are a number of different ways of getting into the course you want. Transfers, doing graduate course etc. There's a lot of ways to get into your dream course even if you didn't get the marks needed. And don't buy into the university 'prestige' bs. Universities are pretty much the same in terms of education. Obviously different universities are going to have different kinds of people attending but most university students are there to further their career and not waste thousands of dollars a year just to fuck around.      ... View more

That's a wonderful and in-depth reflection @redhead! We are all very proud of you. You have great strength and courage! ... View more

Hi @Irawd   Why do you want to kill yourself that bad? What are the issues you are having? Maybe we can talk about them?   We only get one chance at life, try not to throw it away. ... View more