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deepbreath
Super frequent scribe
since
20-07-2012
12-03-2013
38
Posts
17
Kudos
0
Solutions
24-01-2013
11:12 PM
1 Kudo
Here’s a variety of links that we think you’ll like, if you’re interested in learning more about these topics.
And don’t forget you can always ask us any questions on our FB page (or in a private message) if you think of things later!
YEP Crew
You don’t owe anyone sex
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VETvZH46yg4&feature=player_embedded
Notes to Virgins Blog
http://www.notestovirgins.blogspot.com.au
Scarleteen
Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/sexuality/ready_or_not_the_scarleteen_sex_readiness_checklist
Sex for the first time can be a really positive and fun experience. For this blogger it was.
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/words/i_thought_the_first_time_was_supposed_to_suck_0
Sexual Assault Resource Centre
http://www.kemh.health.wa.gov.au/services/sarc/
National Sexual Assault Counseling Service
http://1800respect.org.au
Reach Out
http://au.reachout.com/Wellbeing/Sex-and-relationships/Sex
Over and out from us at YEP Crew and Reachout.com, it's been a great night and we're stoked to be able to chat with you all
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24-01-2013
10:55 PM
It's time to start wrapping up for the night.
Does any one have any questions on things we've talked about?
Or even topics we didn't get to today?
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24-01-2013
10:49 PM
Magga wrote: Obviously there are going to be nerves, especially if it's a first time - but this needs to be discussed properly beforehand
Couldn't agree more Magga!
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24-01-2013
10:42 PM
Sometimes, someone will say yes, they want to participate. But they might not mean it. They might tell you no with their body language and other non-verbals.
Does anyone have examples of body language that says no?
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24-01-2013
10:36 PM
"The absence of no does not mean yes" - do you agree?
Sometimes, silence can be misinterpreted.
Sometimes, someone will say yes, they want to participate. But they might not mean it. They might tell you no with their body language and other non-verbals.
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24-01-2013
10:23 PM
Consent while drunk is not the same thing!
Most people don't know, but you can't legally give consent if you're under the influence of alcohol or other drugs. I know this is really blury, but it's important to remember.
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24-01-2013
10:18 PM
Leethal:Kaz Cooke's 'girl stuff' covered everything in a pretty cool way I suppose - which makes people more likely to take in :P (Certainly better than my school, that's for sure)
Kaz Cooke is great!
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24-01-2013
10:16 PM
What are some ways that alcohol and other drugs might affect your ability to give consent? On the flipside- how might drugs/alcohol impact the ways you know you have got consent from the other person?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUj2OHLAG3w
This is a great little vid called Who Are You?
It's a really interesting perspective on how alcohol effects our experiences, and how we all need to look after each other
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24-01-2013
10:13 PM
Ali818, you make a great point, which leads me to ask -
What are some ways that alcohol and other drugs might affect your ability to give consent? On the flipside- how might drugs/alcohol impact the ways you know you have got consent from the other person?
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24-01-2013
10:08 PM
1 Kudo
Bethechange - I've heard this great story about sex education in an African country where the Educator was showing the women how to put the condom on the banana, but there were cultural barriers. The women in the community ended up putting condoms on bananas and then going off and having unprotected sex with their partners, thinking that the banana-condom-combo would prevent them from having an unplanned pregnancy.
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24-01-2013
10:05 PM
ElleBelle: It is really important, and you're not alone in your opinion. Did you watch that vid I first posted in the intro? That's got good info re:consent and alcohol
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24-01-2013
10:03 PM
1 Kudo
Hi LicheeMerlin! Dental dams are also really useful to prevent the sharing of any STI's that a person might have (like herpes) not just for hygeine. *Sometimes a shower just isn't convenient!* Haha
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24-01-2013
10:01 PM
1 Kudo
Did anyone ever teach you what consent means? What does consent mean to you? Here's a RO factsheet on consent - http://au.reachout.com/What-is-sexual-consent
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24-01-2013
09:59 PM
Leethal: We have some for the Outreach that we sometimes do at schools. One got stolen one time... I hope it's being put to safe and positive use...
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24-01-2013
09:54 PM
Hey Leethal, That's great that you feel like your ed was comprehensive, thanks for contributing!
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24-01-2013
09:52 PM
Hey ElleBelle! Welcome to our Infobus Haha, well, some people do use cucumbers. I can only imagine how awkward that would have been for everyone in the room!
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24-01-2013
09:49 PM
Great point bethechange! It's not like using an umbrella will make it rain! Similarly, teaching us about sex won't make us run out and get it on!
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24-01-2013
09:47 PM
Ok, so, obviously some schools are failing some people entirely and some schools are giving us half a picture. Why is it that?! Grr
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24-01-2013
09:43 PM
Hi Ali818! Thanks for joining us tonight. Haha, I literally just LOL'd at your brush with 'herpes'. How did you learn what you know now?
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24-01-2013
09:33 PM
Welcome to another fantastic Infobus. Tonight we're excited to be talking all things Summer Lovin’ including , relationships, sex, alcohol and other drugs, and particularly consent.
We’ve got Jeremy and myself (Deepbreath) from YEP Crew, which is a group of young people in WA who’ve come together to promote sexual health and positive relationships among their peers. Jeremy and I are pretty experienced at working with young people around these topics and we’re super keen to be here tonight. We’ll be helping to facilitate the conversation, plus we’re full of knowledge so ask any questions you like! You can learn more about YEP Crew from the Facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/yepcrew
We've also got Peter, who's a RO Mod!
Some people might not know much about what consent is. Basically, consent is when you give permission to participate in something. Sometimes you might have your picture taken and you'll have to consent to that picture being published. Another example if some one asks you to be their boyfriend/girlfriend/partner, you can choose to give your consent and accept or decline the invitation. It's the same for sex and other things in a relationship. Here’s a quick vid which is pretty good at explaining it - http://youtu.be/NXyqVbsbdAg
Before we begin chatting tonight, it’s a good idea to have a read over the forum guidelines.
Some of the things that come up tonight might be a bit heavy for some people, remember that this is a safe space and we need to respect and support each other. If you’re in WA and find that you’re struggling with some of the topics we cover tonight, it might be really useful to contact the Sexual Assault Resource Centre (SARC), their website is http://www.kemh.health.wa.gov.au/services/sarc/ or if you’re elsewhere around Australia 1800respect.org.au has an online chat function or you can call them.
Ok, now that we’re all ready to go, lets get the ball rolling. How would you describe the sex-ed you got at school? Helpful or not? Where else have you learnt about sex and relationships?
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19-08-2012
11:50 AM
Thanks for your support everyone. Does anyone have any good suggestions for ways to ask a person about which pronouns they prefer you to use for them. For example, if you can't tell if someone identifies as male or female, how you can you ask them what they'd like to be referred as, without offending them? x
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26-07-2012
01:13 AM
Hi Kiki, Nice to *meet* you! I had a similar problem at the start of the year. I had finished one degree and was officially looking for full-time work. But then I didn't get a job. And the Uni semester came around again. So I was torn between enrolling in a short course (so I was atleast furthering my skills and remaining elligible for Centrelink payments) and concentrating on looking for a job. I guess what it came down to was the fact that I didn't have a job by the first week of semester (about 3 months since I'd finished my first degree) and feedback that I had received from job interviews was that I needed more experience. So I went back to Uni, and did a one semester degree that added onto my first degree and took on a heap of volunteering. In the end, I got a full-time position about two weeks after I finished!! I guess my advice is not to worry and let the universe unfold as it will. Half the things you worry about won't eventuate anyway. DB
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25-07-2012
12:42 AM
1 Kudo
This is really easy today! 1. Found the courage to tell my boyfriend I love him for the first time. 2. He said, "I love you too" 3. Went out for dinner with some great girlfriends <3
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25-07-2012
12:32 AM
Thanks guys. I suppose with people who are always going to feel marginalised, I'm always going to feel like I could do more. I have friends that head down to the Freedom Centre too (it's in Perth for any one interested, http://freedom.org.au/) and they all rave about how much of an awesome support it is. I've also tried really hard to start using more gender neutral names, for example, asking people if they have a partner as opposed to assuming a girl might have a boyfriend. The other day I asked a friend if he had his eye on a girl, and then immediately pulled myself up and thought about how I shouldn't assume he was interesting in girls. I decided to use terms like 'anyone' and 'some one special' etc. Does anyone else have any tips? Has anyone had any good or bad experiences of coming out or having some one come out to them? How did you react?
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23-07-2012
11:32 PM
@Sophie-RO wrote: @deepbreath wrote: Hey Soph, Not sure if I love the Trusted Contributor name. How would someone get that title? They have to have been a member for at least 75 days, have 128 posts and 25 kudos. Do you think that Trusted Contributor sounds more impressive than Star Contributor? Heya Soph, I just think that using the term trusted would encourage a YP who's feeling needy to reach out (huzzah!) to them as they would a professional. I don't think it's about how impressive the title sounds, it's about it's connotations.
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23-07-2012
10:56 PM
I just found this on one of my favourite websites, Rookiemag.com Check it out for more info/a fresh perspective http://rookiemag.com/2012/04/losing-i/ DB
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23-07-2012
10:41 PM
1 Kudo
@Lightuptheworld wrote: @Db- Yay for graduating! :) I hope you settle more into the job soon. What sort of music (genres) do you like? Thank you LUTW! Me too I like lots, mostly the stuff on JJJ. I'm going to see Lady Hawke, Yuksek and Chet Faker in the next week or so. What about you?
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23-07-2012
10:25 PM
Hey everyone, Well my first time was when I was 16. I'd been with my boyfriend at the time for 2 years by the time we had sex. We were both much too young before that to complicate our relationship with sex, plus, my mum was very clear that I wasn't allowed to have sex until I was legally allowed to, which I respected. When we did have sex, it was great. We made a big deal of it, went out to dinner together then stayed at a Bed & Breakfast for the night. I don't remember penetration hurting at all, but I do remember thinking, "Oh my god, I've waited two years for this and he's not going to fit in meeeeeeeee!" Of course he did, we just had to figure out whose body was meant to go where and get into the same rhythm. I have absolutely no regrets about how I lost my virginity. I'm really proud that we waited for as long as we did. We stayed together for a number of years after that and had a great sex life, built on communication and mutual respect. And hopefully this isn't too much info for you all, but with my new boyfriend, we recently tried anal penetration and I was surprised at how much that felt like I'd lost my virginity all over again. It was his first time too and it really did make us feel closer to each other. He was really good at checking in to make sure I was ok with it and I felt really safe to say to him to slow down or what ever I needed. All in all, losing my virginity has been great for me.
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