Last night I think I may have experienced sleep paralysis, and I'm terrified of going back to sleep. At 1am I woke up, and I couldn't move or talk, and I felt an overwhelming sense and anxiety and as if someone was walking towards me in my room. It lasted around 20 seconds, and since I woke up I haven't slept. I feel so tired, but at the same time I've heard that reoccurring sleep paralysis normally begins in the teen years and i don't want to experience that again. I don't know whether or not to tell my mum, I feel like she'll say that I'm being paranoid over the things I've read online, and just laugh about it. I know it could possibly not even be it, but all my symptoms match up, and stress and lack of sleep are both causes of it that I experience.  ... View more

Ok so today was the worst day of my life :) Basically I have this book I write my thoughts in that I take into my psychologist and my mum READ IT. I feel awful because now she knows about everything I'm feeling including my suicidal thoughts and I feel so helpless. I'm so angry because now she's going to treat me like some fragile flower and I have tried so hard to keep my therapy and home life seperate but now there together and now my one safe haven where I don't have to talk about my feelings or face social anxieties is ruined. I can't trust her anymore, and now my release in writing in a diary is destroyed as well.  ... View more

For quite a while I haven't been having thoughts of self-harm. I've still been having suicidal thoughts, but no desire to self harm. Lately, it's back, and I need to tell my psychologist but I'm scared because things have been ok and now all that progress is ruined. I feel tired and horrible.  ... View more

I want to die so badly I wish I had the courage to try but I'm so scared of it backfiring and my parents would be ruined. I don't want to hurt them but I just can't keep doing this I don't know how to escape and no one is helping me I feel so alone all the time. I don't deserve help anyway and I'm too useless to improve but I just can't do it.  ... View more

I feel like I've given up. I don't care about myself at all, about what's best for me. I've avoided socialisation with friends all holiday, barely left the house and have hardly done anything productive. My weight has dropped and I'm under where I should be, but I can't bring myself I care about my health. I feel sick and weighed down all the time. I know I should be trying harder and I wish I could but I just can't. I don't deserve it anyway. ... View more

So I know this is pretty ironic since I posted a similar thing at the start of the holidays about being scared for them, but this is different. I love learning, assignments, hw etc, but the social side of school is petrifying. I've spent most of my holidays inside, avoiding all interaction and flaking out on plans, but now i actually have to go out and communicate with people and it just makes me feel sick. I know no one likes going back to school, but I'm terrified and it's consuming me.  ... View more

Recently my family moved houses and I HATE it. We used to live in a really big place, but our new one is so small and it makes it feel like you can't get away from everyone. You can hear any noise in the house from everywhere and it makes me feel so overwhelmed because it's always loud, especially at night when everyone's home and inside. Sleeping is harder because my parents go to bed later and wake up earlier, and I already have sleeping issues. Most importantly, my old house was home, I've been there most my life and had many holidays, birthdays, and basically all my young childhood memories  there. This new house only has now, and now is anything but good.  ... View more

School just broke up for me and I don't know how to cope. Homework and study always give me a sense of security and purpose and is my way to distract myself from "unhelpful thoughts". Since that's all I do during the term I have no idea what to do with myself and I feel horrible and worthless and my brain feels like its screaming. It hasn't even been a week and I have to survive two. It makes it even worse because I live in a small area that has barely I can actually do, and literally nothing I can do on my own (bit of an issue since I'm a massive introverts who is very stressed in social situations). I'm suffocating and my thoughts of suicide are happening very frequently. I don't know how else to get out of this, please leave some suggestions. ... View more

I thought I was doing ok, recently I've had more plans to battle against my brain than ever, but I feel like I'm sinking again. The sad feeling of weights have returned under my eyes, and my heart is doing that thing again where it feels like It's  constricted. I want to die, the only thing stopping me is my family, it'll ruin them, it's basic human nature, but I know it's only a matter of time before I decide to be selfish and just do it, I'm too weak to survive my entire life. No one will ever love me for me, not when I so deeply hate myself. Stress is killing me, why am I such a freak? I'm terrified of everyone and can't trust them, I just want to go somewhere I can be away from everyone forever, at least then I only have the problem of myself. I'm disgusting. ... View more

I am so confused??? I have really bad anxiety in social situations (not 'social anxiety' tho) and I have no idea where it comes from and I just feel so alone. People in my class can answer questions, and even put their hand up, but if a teacher asks me, my heart just starts pumping like crazy and I can't form any words. My friends can get up for a speech meanwhile I'm frozen in my seat. Everyone in my class can talk to each other but I have a small friend group who I still don't feel fully comfortable talking to. I can't even order my own freaking coffee most of the time, and if I do I just go as red as a tomato. I cried the other day because a substitute teacher I didn't know was watching me work and I panicked. Am I just too weak to handle it, and everyone feels the same way? Is their people like me and I just haven't met any? Or is it possible I have an issue? I just feel so lost ... View more

Tomorrow I have a speech and I am absolutely FREAKING out. I am so, so awful at public speaking because of how terrified I am of it, and I know it's going to go horribly. I just know I'm going to freeze up like I always do, before having a breakdown in front of everyone. I don't know how I'm going to do this, the anxiety is overwhelming and I hate it so much. I want death. ... View more

I'm sick of feeling anxious all the time. I am a constant raging ball of s t r e s s and it's so tiring and NOTHING IS HELPING. I go to a psychologist and she has done NOTHING that has actually helped me, (I've been going for quite some time) and I have done a lot of research and NOTHING WORKS. I have horrible pains in my jaw from grinding my teeth, loss of appetite because I feel so sick, and I'm always on the verge of crying. My mind is so taken up by these thoughts I don't even know who I am anymore and too many things are going on and I'm just AGGHHH.  ... View more