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bethechange
Super frequent scribe
since
14-11-2012
15-01-2015
126
Posts
93
Kudos
0
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25-05-2013
11:21 AM
1 Kudo
Hi Kane1987 and welcome to the forums,
I can’t say I’m writing from experience but that must have been very challenging for both yourself and your step/siblings.
Have you tried speaking with your doctor about how you have carried the distress of these early traumatic events throughout your whole life? Your doctor may even refer you to a specialist such as a counsellor or psychologist that are appropriately trained and experienced in guiding you through the healing process. You could also speak to them about how you can stop repeating the same mistake.
Take care,
bethechange
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06-05-2013
10:01 PM
1 Kudo
That raps up our session tonight on recognizing strengths! Thank you all for your amazing input and also thanks to both Rosie and Gail for their help this evening. Have a great week and hopefully we’ll see you next Monday night :)
1. To start us off, tell us three awesome strengths that you have!
Intelligence
Creativity
Socially adept
2. Do you find it easier to recognise other people's strengths than your own? Why do you think this might be?
Afraid we will be told these are not strengths we possess
More difficult to read ourselves
Due to being taught not to boast or brag about ourselves
3. What benefits do you think there might be to recognising your strengths? This might be to your self esteem, to your friendships, to your academic life, at work, etc…
Self-confidence
Greater insight into where we can best apply ourselves in life
We will be happier as we can focus on the positives in our strengths
4. Do you think being aware of your strengths is the same as being stuck up? Why/why not?
No, only if we try and compare with others and bring them down
Bragging about your strengths is, being aware is not
5. What kinds of things do you think get in the way of being able to recognise your own strengths?
Self-esteem
Not knowing what to look for
Lacking confidence and conviction
6. Have you ever been in a situation where you've used your strengths to your advantage? Was it helpful?
Giving advice to others
Organising ourselves before a stressful situation, very helpful!
Often use my studious skills to stay motivated with university
7. Have a think about those three strengths that you listed in the first question - how could you utilise them in your everyday life to help you be more successful?
Stay positive and try and help others too
Actively focus on our strengths, remind ourselves of the things we’re totally awesome at!
Be attentive, organised and aware of our lives
8. Check out this list of 24 different personality strengths… Which ones do you think apply to you? What are 3 more that you think apply a little, or not at all, and that you'd like to work on developing?
http://au.reachout.com/~/media/PDF/The%20Happiness%20Institutes%20Signature%20Strengths%20List3.ashx
Many different strengths mentioned: Critical thinking, persistence, patience, kindness etc.
Also areas we could improve: Leadership skills, bravery, ingenuity, fairness etc.
9. What is one step you could take this week to work on developing each of the strengths you identified in the last question?
Focus on the positives not on the negatives
Replacing negative unhelpful thoughts with more accurate truths
Remind ourselves of our strengths often
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06-05-2013
09:58 PM
1 Kudo
Nice and simple N1ghtW1ng, but very effective! I think if we catch ourselves thinking something negative about something we know we're good at - just replace that thought with something positive that is closer to the truth.
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06-05-2013
09:47 PM
To answer my own question I think the three strengths that apply to me the most would be:
- Curiosity, Interest in the world
- Judgement, Critical Thinking, Open Mindedness
- Perseverance, Diligence, Industry
I would like to work more at my leadership skills.
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06-05-2013
09:41 PM
1 Kudo
Nice ideas on how we can get those strengths to be a part of our everyday lives! Next question! 8. Check out this list of 24 different personality strengths… Which ones do you think apply to you? What are 3 more that you think apply a little, or not at all, and that you'd like to work on developing?
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06-05-2013
09:37 PM
2 Kudos
I think spending a little bit of time every so often to remind ourselves of our strengths could be a great way of incorporating them into our lives more often.
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06-05-2013
09:35 PM
@N1ghtW1ng, nice way of adapting your skills to your everyday life.
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06-05-2013
09:23 PM
3 Kudos
@sagira - I suppose it's easy to just accept our abilities and not make a big deal of them, but it can be really worthwhile to sit back, reflect, and say "you know, I totally kicked ass at that!"
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06-05-2013
09:21 PM
@N1ghtW1ng, that's great that you had an opportunity to use your strength to help someone else - double win!
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06-05-2013
09:17 PM
@sagira that's a massive achievement - you should be totally proud! :)
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06-05-2013
09:11 PM
Alright guys and girls, some great responses on what kinds of things get in the way of identifying our strengths.Next question:
6. Have you ever been in a situation where you've used your strengths to your advantage? Was it helpful?
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06-05-2013
09:08 PM
5 Kudos
On this point, I think that we're also much more critical of ourselves, where as we find it easier to say how great someone else is at something. As soon as we make one mistake, we maybe think "well I can't be that good if I made that mistake", but even professionals make amateur mistakes - we all have off-days.
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06-05-2013
09:03 PM
2 Kudos
Apart from others judging you, what kinds of things do you think get in the way of being able to recognise your own strengths?
Lacking the confidence and conviction to say "I am good at ABC". Regardless of others explicitly judging us, I'm sure some social psychologists could explain how we take the "don't boast" mentality even within ourselves.
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06-05-2013
08:48 PM
1 Kudo
@Sagira I think that's an important distinction you've made there - it's the comparisons like "i am better" that come with the 'stuck-up' stamp. There's nothing wrong with identifying with the things you excel at.
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06-05-2013
08:41 PM
You guys have some really great ideas tonight. Next question:
4. Do you think being aware of your strengths is the same as being stuck up? Why/why not?
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06-05-2013
08:33 PM
1 Kudo
What benefits do you think there might be to recognising your strengths?
I think that recognizing your own strengths gives you the ability to harness them and know where best you can apply them to your everyday life and future.
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06-05-2013
08:28 PM
@ N1ghtW1ng Maybe they disagree with you because they are being modest? Or maybe not..
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06-05-2013
08:23 PM
3 Kudos
@Birdeye, I would tend to agree, I think if I focus on my own strengths I feel a bit self-absorbed - and it's just easier to give friends complements on all the amazing things they do.
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06-05-2013
08:14 PM
Welcome N1ghtw1ng (great to have you back this week) and others! Great to hear that you all have some amazing strengths! Next question:
2. Do you find it easier to recognise other people's strengths than your own? Why do you think this might be?
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06-05-2013
08:08 PM
1 Kudo
Hi dtperry and welcome!
I like your strength of eating a lot if the situation calls for it :P
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06-05-2013
08:05 PM
3 Kudos
1. To start us off, tell us three awesome strengths that you have!
- Excellent at critical analysis and written argument
- Great in new social settings
- Good at adapting to new situations, not resistant to change
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29-04-2013
10:11 PM
Thank you to everyone for all of your wisdom, I found this a very inciteful evening.
Also, thank you both LeaLea07 and Sophie for all of your input tonight.
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29-04-2013
10:09 PM
@N1ightW1ng, thanks for all your input tonight - I'm glad you can take something from it :)
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29-04-2013
10:06 PM
Does any one have any highlights from our topic tonight? A favourite discussion point that was helpful?
I'd like to highlight that break-ups, although they feel so personal (and they are), they are something so many of us experience and that talking to others about how we're feeling is super important. And keep on keeping on! Life goes on, and it always gets better :)
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29-04-2013
09:57 PM
1 Kudo
Considering many of you have mentioned turning to a friend or family member, how have you helped someone else through a break up?
I would be an open ear and let them vent - but I'd also try and keep an eye on them to make sure they were trying to help themself. I'd also link them to some of these amazing factsheets!
http://au.reachout.com/Coping-with-a-break-up#tips
http://au.reachout.com/Factsheets/W/What-is-coping
http://au.reachout.com/Factsheets/B/Building-better-coping-skills
How have you personally grown from your break-up experiences?
I would genuinely go as far as to say that my break-ups (one in-particular) sculpted me into the strong young adult I am today. It seems ironic that something that makes us feel so horrible can actually be rewarding for us also. I have definitely grown from this experience as it taught me to persevere with the other things that were going on in my life ie. work and uni. while
simultaneously feeling strong emotions.
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29-04-2013
09:45 PM
@N1ghtW1ng, so true - sometimes all we need is an open ear to vent and a little empathy. Talking to friends helped me a lot too.
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29-04-2013
09:44 PM
@LeaLea07 I think you're right, I know I felt a strong sense of pride that I could get myself out of this - especially when I did not have much experience with break-ups. Councellors and psychologists can offer that objective outside perspective that can sometimes be so difficult to see when you're bogged down with emotions.
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29-04-2013
09:35 PM
Okay guys and girls, some great input everyone! Next question:
6. Which people were the most helpful to turn to after a break-up? Did you see close friends or professionals like a psychologist or counsellor?
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Subject | High Fives | Posted |
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1 | 06-05-2013 10:01 PM | |
1 | 06-05-2013 09:58 PM | |
1 | 06-05-2013 09:41 PM | |
2 | 06-05-2013 09:37 PM |
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Date Last Visited | 15-01-2015 02:28 PM |
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