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comerfordius
Frequent scribe
since
09-12-2018
07-06-2020
28
Posts
9
Kudos
0
Solutions
07-06-2020
01:13 AM
26-05-2020
12:31 PM
1 Kudo
Hello, i am definitely feeling better about it today:) for some reason i feel a bit guilty even though i did nothing wrong. Perhaps its because i stopped him from doing something that he thought was ok and funny. But otherwise i am much better today :) Thank you for asking!
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25-05-2020
10:58 PM
Hello, I think it is all good now :) i was pretty down about it for an hour or 2 and he has apologized a few times, which is good. Thank you for the reply i really appreciate it :)
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25-05-2020
07:03 PM
Hello all, I wouldn’t have made another post In a while as things have been going well with my boyfriend, however I had an incident just a few minutes ago that has shaken me up a little bit. My bf and I were playing around, when I playfully teased I was going to put the dirty slippers on his bed. He laughingly took them off, however then proceeded to hit my knee with the slipper (hard) about 5 times before he realised I was yelling at him. I know he means it as a joke and he is still growing into maturity, but this crossed the line and I felt scared. I told him that he doesn’t get to do that and how it is absolutely not ok, he has apologised and I know he would never hit me in anger or wayward emotion, but I am still shaken up. I was just wondering what others would do in this situation? I’m not sure whether to bring it up again with him or if that would exacerbate the issue. Apologies, I feel so reliant on this chat. many thanks, Comerfordius
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29-04-2020
07:52 PM
Hello, I now know what a good/ideal day looks like because i have definitely had some in the past 2 weeks with him. It mostly consists of him just putting effort in to talk to me and reply with interest, and then i have no complaints :D A bad day on the other hand is laziness, where he doesnt listen/care about what i say - when this happens he replies with "ok, interesting, cool or just doesnt reply at all, which i told him really agitates me. My parents think its just a matter of his maturity and i need to call him out when he goes down the rabbit hole with me, and i am inclined to agree with them I know it cant be perfect everyday and i dont expect it to, i just think that its not been long since i had three months of pretty much nothing and i seriously do not want to go back there. He has been engaing more today though so overall a positive :) I am seeing him tomorrow so hopefully he will begin to put his words into action Thank you for the reply i really appreciate it :)
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29-04-2020
12:28 AM
Hello all it’s been a while, just a little update🙂my bf has been amazing the last 2 weeks or so and we have had some of the longest conversations we have had in a while, which has been really great and a massive positive turnaround on his part. However the past 2 days have been back to what it was before the awesome 2 weeks and I feel like it’s too early for another crap stage to happen. I know it’s only 2 days and I told him that it really irritates me when he doesn’t put effort in or at least try to have a conversation other thank replying with an “ok” or “very interesting. I think I’m just worried that it will go back to crap. Who knows maybe I’m overreacting but it has really agitated and upset me tonight. He blames it on uni but he’s had uni the past 2 weeks as well, and has no major assessments until the end of term. Just needed to get this off my chest tonight👌 thank you all who have been replying they have really been helping, and the updates help me process my emotions better I think🙂
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13-04-2020
07:17 PM
1 Kudo
Hello :) Yes i am definitely more confident which is a big positive. I am still hopeful he will turn around a bit when this whole Corona thing is over, though if it has to end it will be for the best :) Thank you for the reply!
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13-04-2020
12:27 AM
Hello again! yes it is amazing that there are many treatments available, even though surgery was not an option unfortunately :( I have actually come on tonight to update about my bf. I have had a few chats with him since my major blowout, including bringing up complimenting more and general effort (again). I still hold true to my decision to end the relationship should he remain lazy, and i believe i am more confident than i was before in this endeavor. I had a good thought today that if the time comes around, i will be ready to do so, confident in myself and what i need. I actively asked him today what he did to get off his bum and he just said gaming, walking the dog and doing assignments. To be fair we are confined mostly to our homes and he brought this up, though i reminded him that he pretty much did nothing for me beforehand and he needs to get off his ass (excuse the language), as he pretty much did what he is doing now. I am trying to pitch outing and day trip ideas to him for when we are out of this crisis, however, he is unfortunately completely uninterested and when i ask him what he wants to do he just says stay home or go to his favourite bookstore, or make a joke out of it. Bit annoying. I kind of figure i would like to be with someone who would want to go on a farmstay with me on the coast, or go camping in the bush (both options i suggested). Just waiting and seeing i guess :) I am definitely more ambitious than him. Not asking for advice, just a general update on thoughts and feelings :) Many thanks for reading :)
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10-04-2020
12:33 AM
Hello there. My family has been coping quite well the last week. The week before however was absolutely terrible as we had no idea what the outcome was and it was looking quite grim. However we are very happy that she is home and receiving the best treatment she can. Thank you for asking🙂
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08-04-2020
12:41 AM
Hello again all, just a quick (and short i promise) update. The boyfriend issue is improving slowly and i am giving him the benefit of the doubt. So far so good on that end. And my Aunty is currently being treated for non-Hodgkin lymphoma only in the brain and began chemo yesterday! all is going rather well in an unexpected turn of events :) Thank you all for your support it has really put me in a better mindset where i have been able to better evaluate my emotions. I will continue to update :)
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01-04-2020
08:53 PM
Yes! You have definitely put my whirlwind of thoughts into a proper, readable paragraph :D I thank you so much for that reading this has definitely enabled me to pinpoint certain feelings and where i am coming from. No i don't think i am quite ready to let go and yes i certainly would like to see his words put into action. I have also started discussing other things to do when this 'stay at home' business ends, such as camping and paddle-boarding, to which he has been...somewhat open to i guess? Yes my parents have been brilliant throughout this whole bananza, even with my dad having to deal with my aunties diagnosis last week. I do still believe that my bf wants to stay home and game with friends before anything else, though i feel he has very slowly began to realise he actually needs to put an effort in. It is not as much as i had hoped for and we cant really do anything due to the virus, though a start is a start. I have let him know that i dont expect him to do everything adventure related that i want to, just that he starts getting out the house more and actually doing things with me more often. Hopefully this follows through :) Thank you so much this reply was really helpful in enabling me to put my thoughts into proper structure :)
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01-04-2020
12:21 AM
Apologies i don't know how to start a new post without replying to someone. Hello all, i thought id give a little update on my circumstances. My Aunty has now lost vision in her left eye and we are waiting to recieve the results of her recent bone marrow tap. In regards to my relationship, i am much less emotional about breaking up in terms of i am more positive. However i do not know if this is a good thing or not. I am struggling with holding myself back and letting him take the lead, which has made me realise that i am very much attached to him. Funnily enough, i planned to end it today and i was so so emotional and distraught, however 2 days ago my mother gave me a different opinion and thinks that with some development in maturity and putting more effort in, he would be the right guy. And i was suddenly very conflicted about my future decision. I know i shouldnt base what i do on my parents opinions, but it makes it harder when one is optimistic and one thinks he's not the right guy. I came to the conclusion through this that i need more adventure, rather than staying over at his all the time with the occasional movie outing. We also had a mild discussion about future long-term goals, in which we decided we would save up for 2 years to go to japan together. I also asked him about marriage, house and all the deep stuff and he gave me some time periods we could achieve those in. Still, i am keeping an eye out for any commitment on his side, though it made me very happy that we had the long-term chat. Now the main thing i am finding annoying is when he disregards what im saying by automatic responses such as 'yes' and 'interesting'. E.g. "what did you do today" (me) - "yes" (him), which i have since told him i find irritating and he needs to make the effort to give a proper response. I have general mixed feeling at the moment and feel like i am always bringing up relationship issues with him. But there are a lot that we need to work on! especially on his side. I have not fully retracted back into the lovey dovey, non-breakupy girl of the months prior, though i will make a justified effort to retract back a little bit to see if he does his part, if he can be bothered i guess. But that's another story. Thank you for reading if you got this far, just updating on circumstance and the current fluidity of my emotions towards my situation :)
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29-03-2020
05:34 PM
Thank you so much :)
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29-03-2020
11:11 AM
1 Kudo
Thank you so much for the lengthy reply🙂yes that whole message is exactly what I feel and I do believe that maturity has a lot to do with it. I will keep you posted about the relationship and my Aunty🙂She had emergency surgery yesterday for a biopsy and we will not get anything new until next week. Many Many thanks for the reply💕
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28-03-2020
11:08 PM
Hi there! Yeah I think I pretty much have made my decision. I am having a good conversation with him right now, though earlier I asked if he wanted to come to mine (he always makes excuses) and he quite just said “lazy”. He doesn’t mean bad but I have brought it up multiple times as I said before. My dad doesn’t reckon he is right for me, and I don’t either in fact. I think I need someone more outgoing and who respects me and doesn’t playfully put me down. Even though the good times are good, other than that I get nothing. I will see this through coronovirus, as a final chance, and then I think it is best to leave it be, give him some space to grow as a person. I think at the moment he likes the idea of me and is putting in minimal effort, rather than actually wanting to make an effort😿it is a sad time of contemplation at the moment unfortunately. Really just reassessing what I need in my life. thank you so much for replying and understanding🙂
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28-03-2020
02:25 PM
Hello! I am feeling a bit better today, though have contemplated that it is probably best to end the relationship. it was hard to think about but after talking to my parents and asking their opinions i think it is probably the best thing to do if he is not treating me well. I am still hopeful that he will come around im just not sure if i want to wait for my initial plan of three months to pass. But otherwise im doing good today and took the dog out :D :D
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27-03-2020
10:24 PM
And yes i will keep updating if anything new comes through :) this is my medium to get things off my chest with a little advice on the side :)
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27-03-2020
10:23 PM
Thank you also for replying :) I do hope it works out because he is a genuine guy on the inside who needs to grow up a bit. This week has been so far so good (besides finding out he was talking to my bully), and i hope the goodness lasts. On top of all this i found out yesterday afternoon that my aunty has multiple brain tumours and is going into emergency surgery tomorrow, so i guess i will see how he supports me through this time. When i had my spit at him i asked him if he even wanted to be in a relationship based on how he was treating me, and he said that he did indeed want me to be his girlfriend. We will see how this plays out. Again many many thanks for the reply, i really appreciate the support and advice :)
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27-03-2020
05:04 PM
Thank you so much for replying i really appreciate it. I will check out the article. Yeah its just really confusing. I openly communicated with him multiple times and did a values activity, before i blew up. I am just feeling a bit sad. I'm giving him 3 months and if i still feel like this i may sadly have to end it :( Many thanks for your advice
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27-03-2020
01:40 AM
Oh and just to top it off, right before my spit, i wanted five minutes to look in a store before i went back to his place with him. He instead jumped on a bus and went home, expecting me to follow him on another bus 10 mins later. I went home, and later that night had my spit at him.
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27-03-2020
01:37 AM
1 Kudo
Hello all, A bit of context. I have recently been struggling a lot with my current bf of 1.5 years. In december through to early january i went on a once in a lifetime trip with his family to 5 different countries, and i really felt like our relationship thrived. However, fast-forward to when the trip finished, he has completely changed. He is lazy, does not want to make the bus trip to my house, puts no effort whatsoever into this relationship, would rather play video games than talk to me and was acting extremely inappropriately, for example wiping his snot on me and deliberately breathing in my face. This is absolutely unacceptable, and i have since asked him to stop. This took 3 tries over the course of three months to finally get any type of real response, with the last one being a fed-up blowout from me saying that if he kept treating me like garbage i would leave (which i stick by too). Keep in mind we are both 18 and in our first relationship, recently finished the HSC. Though i feel i am much, MUCH more mature than him. He is on the inside a good and wholesome dude, and i do not believe he means any harm by doing these things, it is not his personality type to deliberately hurt me. I just believe he has absolutely no clue whatsoever how to treat me. I am struggling with this. I feel i am constantly criticizing his behaviour, though i do not mean it in a controlling way. I believe i am in my rights to tell him to stop behaving badly towards me. I do not expect much other than respect, which i have not been recieving. Despite all of this, after my major spit, he did make some changes, such as calling me in the morning and being a bit more affectionate (it got to the point a month ago where he wouldnt even want to hug or kiss me - not normal in my opinion). He also took me out to the movies (also a rare occasion, considering he would actively make excuses not to go out). I want to keep giving him chances because i love him with all my heart and he was really good for me last year, though has done absolute jack for me this year. To top this all off, i found that he was secretly in contact with an ex-friend of mine who significantly affected my mental health last year with her bullying, someone who i decidedly cut out of my life. Even though my bf and her were friends beforehand (and dated for 2 weeks), i see this as a betrayal, as it was secret communication and she has actively treated me like shit and i do not believe he should be supporting that at all, considering his girlfriend was significantly hurt by her. I am not sure how i should approach this relationship anymore. I can feel it slowly tattering away and i desperately want it to last, as he is genuinly at heart a good person. I do not think he realises how much he has done to hurt me, even though i constantly remind him. My parents are suprised i havent broken it off already. When is it time to draw the line, however much doing so will upset and hurt me? Any advice or outside insight into the information i have provided will be useful and much appreciated Many thanks and apologies for the long explanation, just needed to get it out of my system.
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16-01-2020
01:25 AM
1 Kudo
Hi there Somedude123. As someone who has struggled with thoughts like these in the past, I understand that they must be daunting and affecting you on a daily basis. I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety order after 3 years of suffering from what I thought was OCD, and I am in a much better place now after attending counselling sessions and receiving advice. Although I may not understand what you are truly going through and know that you may not be ready to receive help yet, I would highly recommend having a talk with your parents about how you are feeling (if they are receptive of course) and perhaps considering visiting a psychologist. It is the best thing I ever did and the help and support I received was phenomenal. I have faith in you Somedude123, and although it may not seem like it now, you will feel yourself again, no matter where this journey takes you. Never give up. Sincerely and with warm regards, Comerfordius🌻
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05-03-2019
10:03 AM
3 Kudos
I definitely am being very hard in myself which i think is part of the anxiety. When i am really wrestling with my anxiety usually i have a big old cry which helps me get it out. Except I'm going to try and limit this as it probably isn't healthy. I have bought myself 2 notebooks, one for the negative thoughts and one for the positive thoughts. If i am having any negative thoughts and feel the need to rant to someone i just write it all down in my negative notebook. At the start or end of the day, or after writing in the negative notebook, i write good things about myself and what i did today in the positive notebook and focus on the positives. I am also trying to limit the amount i talk about my mental health condition so i don't offload on people and push them further away from me, which i thinking will also stop myself from dwelling on it. Overall i am going to aim to be a better person :)
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04-03-2019
11:52 AM
1 Kudo
Hello everyone, sorry for the lack of communication the last couple of months. I am now seeing my school Councillor every week and on the way to being a better person. She has diagnosed me with severe anxiety and i am beginning CBT treatment. I have found that i am worrying less about the sexuality thing as more major things in my life have popped up. The thing on my mind at the moment is what sort of girlfriend i am being. I feel so ashamed that i always go to my boyfriend when anxious or crying because he makes me calm and feel better. I find myself getting jealous if he comments about other girls and i find myself asking for his validation all the time. I cant believe the person my anxiety has made me. I am ashamed of my behavior and i would very much love to reverse these feelings. He always tells me he loves me and that he doesnt mind and its better to keep him in the loop, but because i have anxiety this only provided temporary relief and i absolutely hate it. I do not want to be the person i have become around my boyfriend because of my anxiety. I am clingy and i do not want the relationship to end because of me and i am so scared it will. It is currently my biggest fear. I guess the good thing is that im not freaking out about the sexuality thing anymore, but id rather not worry about anything and not have anxiety. I find myself constantly upset and i cry myself to sleep most nights now. I actually woke up this morning and felt like i was about to compete in the olympics. I was so nervous. I hate the person i am in my anxiety and i dont want it to affect my relationship wih my loving, supportive and amazing boyfriend. So that's the update :)
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28-12-2018
01:56 AM
Hi there, I did have a chance to read through your post and i really appreciate the support network you are providing me with and helpful advice:) I may use these networks when i am having a particularly bad day. I understand it is not great to self-diagnose without a professional but from a lot of research i think i have narrowed my search down. However i may be completely incorrect who knows. The thing is, i don't particularly enjoy hearing that it is 'ok' to question and not accept labels and the like, because it generally triggers my symptoms more as in my mind it is not 'ok' for me. I may be criticized for this opinion but i believe it is an opinion that should be equally accepted. I think it is ok to question but i have no desire to be anything other than straight, which fuels the fire of what i am going through, as well as the fact that the thoughts/constant questioning distress me so i really just want to stop questioning at this point. However hard that may be for me at this point, considering my mental well-being:( However, i would like to say that today (well, technically yesterday because it is 1:50 in the morning) i had a pretty good day compared to other ones. Of course the thoughts popped up but very rarely throughout the day. So i guess that's a positive :) I think it is because i am able to express my feelings on this forum and receive feedback and opinions, so i really appreciate all who have contributed to this page to help not only myself, but others who are going through the same kind of thing, professionally diagnosed or not. I will try and give updates on how i am going when i can, and maybe try some of the websites and helplines suggested :)
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27-12-2018
12:00 AM
Hello all, When i started writing this i didn't think it would be this long but i ended up writing in detail about what i have been going through, so apologies in advance :( Just an update on how i am going. Pretty much my mental state has definitely gotten worse. I had a panic attack for the first time last night in 1.5 years because i so did not want to think about or be bisexual. It was terrible, as you may imagine. I was panting like a dog and crying, my head and face were tingling and i wouldn't even consider my heart beating because of the palpitations i was experiencing. For the last few weeks i have begun a relationship with a dude i have liked for a while and it has started at the worst time because i am going through all this. And i am very scared because i think my attraction towards him has diminished because of my thoughts and i really don't want it too. I now constantly feel like i am lying to myself and i must be in denial. I think i have convinced myself i am in denial. I can no longer tell if my thoughts are intrusive or not which is very confusing and distressing for me. I feel i am no longer making a conscious effort to 'check' and i am programmed to do it anyway which further adds to the confusion and distress. I began to cry again tonight because i did not feel i was as turned on by the person i have started the relationship with as i should have been, considering I've been thinking about it for months. The thing is, when i am talking to him most of my worries go away. I think i have identified the trigger that has led to my mental state today as before this happened i was not worried and crushing on guys. It was when my school signed a controversial document which led to an outrage in my grade leading them to stick the rainbow flag around the school and senior space, which i think triggered my current condition. I actually stayed away from all of this to protect my mental state and spent the day away from fellow seniors in the library during lunch. However, this obviously did not work. My panic attack last night was triggered when i was watching a video on youtube, and my brain being my brain, decided to inspect every woman on the screen to 'check'. It stopped on this one woman and my brain kind of reacted and said 'you have a crush on her because you are staring at her' and i wont lie that she was pretty and attractive in her own way. However this completely threw me off and sent me into panic because i instantly thought 'no i cannot be that, i do not want to be that' and i began to check through scenarios in my mind, making me feel like i had to puke as when i repel and am repelled by thoughts i do it physically through making a weird facial expression and clenching all my muscles. I don't want to say this but this reaction is kind of like when you are pooping (sorry needed something to relate it to). The next day (today) i still felt like shit and tried not to think the thoughts. Which worked slightly but i felt down for most of the day. My sort-of boyfriend rang at 11 and we talked for hours, making me forget much of what i was going through. Though afterwards was a different story. I began checking again and for much of the day, although distracted, i felt i was lying to myself about my sexuality. I did not want to check what happened with the YouTube vid the night before for fear of being attracted. I did so anyway and wasn't, or at least i don't think so because imagining scenarios gives me the same repelling, pooping reaction. I also saw a video by ASAP Science (which i did not watch for my own sanity thankfully) which was titled 'Does everybody have a gay gene' which did not, in any shape or form, help my mental state AT ALL! Pretty much, i feel like i am in denial but i'm confused and scared because i don't know if i am or not. I just want to cry whenever i think it because i want to be attracted to boys and my sort-of boyfriend as i was before. Its like i'm accepting being something i am not, though anything i think about regarding my sexuality i doubt. I think i'm straight, then i doubt it, then i think of the other side and doubt it as well. wth is going on?! I've even begun thinking that if there were no homosexuals in the world would i still be having these thoughts and i don't know the answer to that, which is scary. I am just one big mess at the moment. Also, i have talked with my parents about the psychiatrist and possibly seeing one and i don't think they understand what i am going through. They have told me that when the holidays hit i go into one big bundle of worry and everything is heightened because i have nothing else to think about. Which is true in a sense. The other week i was convinced i had a melanoma on my foot but got it checked by my GP and then a professional who confirmed it was just a blood blister. I had honestly just accepted i was going to die. Anyway, they don't believe it is necessary, so i am stuck battling with my own mind. I just really don't know who i am anymore and i always feel like something is wrong. I question whether it is HOCD or not. I really really really just want it to be HOCD. Any thoughts? Again, apologies for the long post. Writing my feelings down makes me feel somewhat better.
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13-12-2018
09:42 PM
I am not particularly comfortable talking to people about it. I tried to tell my parents of its recurrence but they didn't understand and neither do my friends. They don't really know how to respond. The thing is, as soon as i try to talk about it with people who listen its like my mind puts up an immediate barrier and i suddenly don't want to talk about it. Its like i don't want to remind myself what i'm thinking about or say it out loud which makes it very hard to talk about, though the thoughts are constantly recurring in my head. I may look for professional help but i think i will have a problem actually going through the therapy as I've heard a lot of it is accepting your thoughts which i really do not want to accept. I just don't want to think about being anything other than straight.
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09-12-2018
03:24 PM
Hello everyone, i am a 17 year old female and this is my first time on a mental health forum so excuse me for the very long explanation. I have been bottling it up for quite a while now and dealing with my health problems by myself, so i thought it was time to talk about what is happening to me. Here we go. At the beginning of last year (when i was 15), my best friend came out as gay to me over text, and this was a massive shock as i had never really suspected it. At first i was happy for her but it soon sunk in what it really meant to be that and i began to question myself as a result of this. I have always been straight, always had crushes on boys in primary school before heading to an all girls school in high school where i never developed any feelings for anyone and boys were scarce. However following her coming out, it sent me into a spiral of questioning and worry that i might be what she is. And i have no idea if i have made this up or not but i also have a feeling i may have started the questioning/doubting a few days before which freaks me out more. I am from quite a conservative family so i hadn't encountered anything like this before and i had never questioned myself. Anyway, my condition did not improve and then another somewhat friend of mine came out as bi and did not help my condition. I tried to tell myself i wasn't what they were, though i kept having to check and check over and over again even when i told myself i wasn't. I began to avoid my friends and avoided both people who had come out to me. i didn't speak to either of the girls who came out to me for months, even though i had had a 10 year best friend relationship with one. I forced myself to think thoughts of being gay or bi and i hated doing so and i was repulsed by them, though i kept doing it due to the impending 'what if' in my mind. And if i didn't feel anything towards those thoughts or i felt horny that day anyway from whatever and felt even the slightest tingle of anything 'down there' i would convince myself i must be gay or bi. This soon developed into panic attacks alone in my room where i would cry because i just wanted to go back to normal and not think these thoughts. After a few months of this, i decided to make an appointment with the school Councillor. This did not help my situation at all and if anything made it worse. I was very reluctant to talk to her and i felt ashamed at what i was going through and didn't want to tell anyone. I don't remember much of what she said i just remember it did not help. I soon began to associate lyrics of my favorite songs and books with being gay or bi, so i would avoid listening to the songs because they reminded me of what i was going through and i felt like they would make me accept being something i was not. I tried to tell my parents and they reassured me that i was not that and that parents can usually tell from an early age if their child was like that. My friends did not understand either. I began to look at other women on the street and look at them to decide whether i was attracted or not. it was taking over my life. I diagnosed myself with HOCD though i refused to get help as i didn't want to think about it. After a few months, whenever those thoughts popped into my head, i immediately thought 'no' to stop it from going any further. This helped and fast forward a few months I barely had thoughts regarding this. Life went back to the way it was. I even developed a crush on a guy i met at a friends party which lasted for about 7 months before depressing rejection (rip). I tried not to avoid those who i thought were gay or bi and talked to my friend a little more and let her know what i was going through. She said shed gone through the exact same thing but the opposite way around which i found kind of ironic. I also developed an unhealthy obsession with Kpop, as it was music i could listen to and enjoy without understanding the lyrics that would trigger my symptoms. Life was back to normal. Or for a few months at least. I began my preliminary year 11 year with a bang, acing and enjoying most of my subjects. I was also becoming really good friends with a guy i treasure immensely to this day. However, my HOCD symptoms soon began to come back, though this time in small doses. I began to subconsciously do what i did last year. I would look at women's chests to see if i was aroused or not and the like. Though i didn't really notice myself doing so and i still found men attractive. I also had a celebrity crush on a gorgeous and handsome male kpop star. Still do. However recently this has become worse because i have noticed myself doing so. I have been linking it to past experiences as well. The friend i was becoming close with told me he liked me and i realized i kind of had feelings back. So one day we started cuddling, no kissing or anything like that. Though afterwards i felt really unsure about it and i put it down to not being ready for anything. Though now i am linking it back to feeling how i am now and wondering if i didnt want it because i might be something else. I am again forcing myself to think thoughts and i again don't really want to think them. And at the moment (tmi but its important) i am on my period so im a bit horny and feel sensitive down there, and this did not help my thinking at all. If i was thinking thoughts and feeling sensitive at the same time i put it down to i must be something other than what i have always been. And although i think about being with my guy friend when he does anything touchy feely i get freaked out. I dont want to think like this and i dont want to question whether it is HOCD or not but i am. So long story short, your opinions would be really helpful on this. Is it the remnants of HOCD re-emerging or something else? I apologize for the long post, i just needed to get it all out for a better understanding.
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My Recent High Fives Received
Subject | High Fives | Posted |
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1 | 26-05-2020 12:31 PM | |
1 | 27-03-2020 01:37 AM | |
1 | 13-04-2020 07:17 PM | |
1 | 29-03-2020 11:11 AM | |
1 | 16-01-2020 01:25 AM |
Public Statistics
Date Registered | 09-12-2018 02:41 PM |
Date Last Visited | 07-06-2020 04:11 AM |
Total Messages Posted | 28 |
Total High Fives Received | 9 |