I try to think in my head just speak who cares but then i end up over thinking and over analysing situations and making myself feel upset or annoyed and then i slowly stop speaking altogether. I am looking for anything cafe work, retail, interior design jobs with my degree but are still yet to land any jobs. I have had interviews where i think i did well but i never land the job.
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Hi, so I sometimes get these off days where I feel so crappy about myself. I am in my early 20s and are in a happy relationship yet I dont have any friends. I have tried to make friendships but I struggle because i can sometimes be awkward and shy at times. Whenever I meet new people thoughts in my mind run through me head telling me I'm boring, not worthy of friends, i'm being stupid, why did you say that? You idiot you look dumb. All things like that. I feel like I cant be myself around other people besides my family and boyfriend. I really want to break out of this unhealthy mentality but i dont know how. I've tried to think positively yet i always seem to get nervous and think the worst case in my head. I am struggling these days because i havent got a job and have tried to hard to get one after countless interviews. All i have is a degree i cant do anything with. I feel like everyone else is doing so much better than me in their lives. I feel so lonely these days. I just want a friend I can talk to. Help
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Hi, I am writing this post in regards to my younger brother. He has been in a relarionship for about a year now with this girl. When they got together we had not yet met her until until a few months later as she told us my borther wouldnt let her come to meet us, which I thought was strange of him. Anyway, so we eventually meet her, to our suprise she didnt seem his usual type. After meeting her over a period of a few weeks she seemed friendly enough.
Although I did notice she would only ever really talk about my brother when my Mum and I met up with her. She mainly talked/complained frequently about how my brother treats her (kinda painting my brother as a crappy boyfriend to her).
She would also alot of the time ask for relationship advice from myself and dicuss about how they argue alot. She rarely talked about herself and never asked much about my family.
In the first few months my brother was living at home and I could hear him and her often arguing on the phone. She would call him late at night even though she knew he had an early morning start to work the next day. They would argue and then my brother would go straight round to hers to fix things. Over time he ended up rarely coming back to the family home and staying at her place.
My brother became stressed and seemed less like himself and more serious. Prior to her he dated another girl and the contrast to their relationships is completely different, he seemed more relaxed and happy. My family and I even went on holiday with him for a few days as he seemed over stressed. I noticed on this holiday she was constantly texting him and calling.
It has now been a year and things have got out of control. They argue all the time and he had moved out to live at hers. One night a month ago he came home crying as they had a massive argument and she had even hurt. My mum spoke to him told him its not okay or normal and he did his own thing and decided to forgive her and give her one last chance. A week ago he came home upset again and this time it was even worse as she had hurt him. He blocked her online and told us he was done with her.
But, now shes starting calling him again telling him to man up and that it was his fault she hurt him. She is also saying that she was "sexually assualted" at work which too me sounds like lies. Is she trying to manipulate him? He is from the sounds of it believing her and I can tell he still loves her.
So I am now worried they are going to get back together which I do not want to happen as she hurt him emotionally and physically. She might hurt him worse next time and that scares me. I don't want to say anything to my brother as I do not want to over step my boundaries or push him closer to her. If they do get together I want to have words with her and also try to speak some sense to my brother. What should my family do?
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Thank you for your response it has helped me shed a little light on what to do this christmas. I am finding it hard as its always in the back of my mind. This messy situation has taken its toll on my Mum and I. It has caused a big tear in between the two sides of our family. Deep down I worry about my cousin and I want to just fix things but at the same time I dont want to be walked all over. I think letting his dad know the reasons as to why he cant come to Christmas will be a good idea. I am just worried that if we say my cousin cant come something bad or serious might happen to him as he has self harmed in the past.
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My immediate family have spoken to his Dad and my grandparents about it. They want to bury their heads in the sand in regards to this problem and say that we should just let things go 'we are family' 'its christmas' things like that and just keep letting him to what he wants because they dont know what more to do. My concern is I dont want to just taken advantage of or be used as we know he still is using drugs daily, and steals. We even sent texts, made calls, and sent a letter to him to say that we are there for him and will support him. We havent had any responses from him or his Dad in regards to fixing this situation. Do we let him come into our home and he ignore us/be funny with us, or worse steal or hurt someone?
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Hi, so basically long story I have a younger cousin age 15 who is a regular drug user, skips school, is out of control and doesn't to anything he is told. My immediate family and I tried to help him out about 6 months ago which resulted in him trying to punch my mum and then attacking me. Since then we have not spoken to him. His Dad has never given him rules or responsiblities and spoils him rotten. My family tried to help his Dad by telling him that there needs to be rules and consequences set towards his son, on aspects such as when he needs to come home from school, chores need doing, that his drugs cant be brought into the house, and that he needs to attend school more. (We even got the police around to speak to his son) This all worked for awhile until his Dad gave up and into his sons ways. At this point now his son is off the rails and doesn't come home for weeks and gets away with everything including, stealing, meeting up with older adults, hanging round train stations late at night, not attending school, getting into fights. He has been in couselling and had psychologist talk to him and has been in out of hospital reluctantly a lot, for depression and bad behaviour and it doesn't seem to be helping. When he is on drugs he hurts himself, gets panicked, loud and then goes on a downer and is sad until he gets his next fix. My family haven't heard from him as he hasn't wanted to speak to us for months now. It is very stressful and now that it is Christmas coming up we are unsure on whether to let him come to our Christmas dinner as we are worried about him stealing, acting out, or hurting us again. Also the fact that he has ignored my immediate family and not spoken to us, or made any effort to sort things out after months. What should my immediate family do? Do we just let it go and move on and let him join or christmas? What would you do? He is also known for lying a lot and we are unsure on what to believe these days as he tells us things such as, he got beaten up multiple times, has been raped by 4 people. Everytime he tells these things to his dad or his grandparents they feel sorry for him and let anything he did before for example "swearing at them, hitting them, running away for weeks, skipping school" get away with. I think deep down they are worried about his depression getting the better of him. If his son won't get help from the professionals and his dad/grandparents supporting him isn't helping what can we do?
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