Hi @ILAUVEDEN! I'm sorry you haven't been feeling great lately and about the anxiety you've been experiencing. I just wanted to ask how you were doing. Are you feeling any better? ... View more

@Bento  It can be so difficult to try not to focus on the negative stuff that happens. We are wired to focus more on negative information than the nice things that people do for us. We can get a lot of compliments and people can treat us really well, but a single negative comment or experience can totally ruin our entire day. I understand what you mean about Facebook and Twitter. I don't use them for this reason. I also don't like watching the news often because the media often reports on the bad stuff that happens rather than anything positive. This website and this website are pretty good if you need to read some positivity. These articles are really helpful if you find yourself getting down about situations. ... View more

Hi @smileandwave! How are you doing today? It can be so difficult not to compare yourself with others. I do that a lot too. I know that it could seem like your sister is doing better than you now, but that might not be the case in the future. There are lots of people who do really well in uni but then struggle to find jobs, for example. She also might not end up in the same type of career as you. She might even have feelings of insecurity herself. I think it's great that you were still able to go to uni despite struggling with mental health issues and some difficult times. That's an amazing achievement! ... View more

Hi @Bee! I'm sorry that you're experiencing some more mental health symptoms and that your treatments haven't been completely successful so far. I know that you can get through this with the right support. I have been trying to think of ways you can talk to your psychiatrist. If you don't mind your GP looking at your notes, you could write or print out some of the things you want your psychiatrist to know and ask them to fax or pass them onto your psychiatrist. I've done this once. Are you able to use any internet-based methods to communicate or show your psychiatrist? You could ask if you could set up a record of your files on Google Drive or Google Keep that they can access. I'm sure there are lots of other apps or services you could use as well. Would writing down some key words or topics on palm cards for when you speak to your psychiatrist help? ... View more

These are just some of the key facts about bisexuality, are there any other key facts or things that are important to know about bisexuality?  Some other myths I have heard or read about bisexuality: - People who are bisexual are more likely to cheat in relationships, but there is nothing to prove this. - Bisexuality does not really exist. - Bisexual people are 'depraved' or greedy. This is perpetuated by works of fiction. - Bisexual people are more likely to transmit infections. - Bisexual people are more promiscuous than people of other sexual identities. - Bisexual people are 50% attracted to males and 50% attracted to females. What do you want people to know about bisexuality? Bisexuality is a valid sexual orientation. Bisexual people are usually not looking to just have casual relationships or hookups. A lot of them want to have a serious relationship and some of them are averse to sexual experiences. There is also a lot of variation in sexuality. Some bisexual people are more attracted to a specific gender and some are attracted to all genders, including gender fluid people for example. They are not always 50% attracted to one gender. ... View more

@Bee  I think that's a really beautiful memory. @happycat45  I remember doing similar things with one of my childhood friends! She would sleep over at my house and we would make music videos and draw. I believe she got engaged recently too. We haven't seen each other in ages but our families still keep in touch. One of my favourite memories was just playing on a swing set for hours as a child. I used to spend hours swinging! The swing eventually broke when someone else sat on it and we ended up dismantling it. Another positive memory I have is exploring the city with my great uncle when he visited from Canada. We went to a festival together, then after that I remember going to a jewellery store and buying a charm bracelet, which I still have. We also got him a cheap mobile phone so we could stay in touch while he was in Australia. I remember he talked about how happy he was to visit because he was getting older and might not get the opportunity to see us again. It ended up pretty much being the last time I saw him. Shortly after that, he got sick with lung cancer and passed away two years ago. I still have his number in my phone. We miss him so much. He was so loved. I really treasure these memories. ... View more

Hi again @not-an-otter! I'm sorry that you're having a not-so-great week and that you haven't been sleeping well. It sounds like there's a lot going on in your life. If you don't mind sharing, what has been bothering you the most? ... View more

@Bananatime04  I love hearing relaxing sounds before I sleep! I wish it played more kinds of sounds other than just a heartbeat though. Goodnight! Sweet dreams! ... View more

That's okay @Bananatime04. That fan sounds so relaxing! I wish I had one like that. I ordered something online years ago which was a pink bunny plush. It had a little speaker in it that played a heartbeat noise that was supposed to help you sleep. I remember taking it on holiday a few times. I should find it. ... View more

@Bananatime04  I'm sorry that you were assaulted. I can't imagine how you feel about it. I think it's great that you could tell people about it. That's so courageous I hope you can get a good night's sleep. Is there anything that helps you feel calmer? ... View more

@Bananatime04  I'm so glad you got to talk to your counsellor and she was supportive! I think it's really brave of you to confide in her. Well done for getting through your anxiety attack! Are you able to do any self care for the rest of tonight? ... View more

@Bananatime04  Even if it was just today, that's still a great thing! Well done! You could write something like, 'I had a safe day today'. ... View more

@Jess1-RO  I think that's a great idea! It's a win-win situation. At my sister's hospital, some therapy dogs were brought to the patients by volunteers and the patients were allowed to pat and feed them. My sister loved it! ... View more

Sorry @Bananatime04, I was really busy today. Ouch! I'm sorry you keep banging yourself up. But I'm proud of you for not self-harming this time! Have you ever thought of getting a habit tracking app or writing down your achievements? That way, you can see your successes. I hope you find something good to watch on Netlfix. Any recommendations? ... View more

@N1ghtW1ng  I hope your parents can support you if they find out. You're right that there is nothing they can do to change your decision, so there is no point in them arguing with you. They will just have to accept it, which is their issue to cope with and not yours. Have you told any other family members or friends about your decision? Maybe they can back you up and help you tell them. Something that helped me was writing down the reasons I quit my internship, which I initially did because I had to explain it to people. I look at it from time to time to remind myself of my self-worth and that I did the right thing. Maybe you could write down the reasons why you decided not to be a teacher. This might also help you answer any questions that your parents might have about your decision. If you don't want to answer any questions, you could say, 'It just wasn't for me'. You could also tell your parents that thousands of people have changed their minds about what to study or do with their future, and it has usually worked out fine for them. I have known plenty of people who have done this and they are all happier doing something that they love and have never regretted their decision to change careers. It's never too late to decide on a career change either. A lot of people studying my course were mature age students and people who'd had another career in a different field first. I believe it actually gave them an advantage in my field with finding jobs and getting into postgraduate courses because they already had some transferable skills, life experience and references. If you decide to study something else, you might even get credit points towards it in some circumstances. I think it is often better to quit rather than spending too much time in a bad company or a course you don't like, especially if you don't like it from the beginning. One of my family members said to me, 'If it was that bad from day one, then it probably wasn't going to get any better', which was really helpful. Some people told me that because I quit, it would be harder for me to find other internships and opportunities relating to what I studied, but I found some anyway. I left the position off my resume because I didn't do a lot of practical, productive work for the company, but I wrote all of the training and courses I had done with them. You could do something similar because teaching can give you a lot of skills that can translate to a lot of other industries and jobs, such as organisation, flexibility, planning, communication, responsibility, working with children, etc. Like @Jess1-RO said, I believe you will find your own path and things will work out for you in the end. Whether you have a job or are in a course or not, you are awesome, smart, talented and a kind and caring person. ... View more

Do you turn to any people/services for advice or support when you're stressed about your future? If not, what's holding you back? Do you have any suggestions for others for who they can reach out to? I've reached out to university careers services and staff a few times for advice, but they were mostly unhelpful or unavailable. Hopefully other members have better luck with them! My parents knew some people who worked in my field, but they don't really have a clue about the kind of experience I need and admission requirements, so I've had to do much of the work on my own. Some employers gave me good advice for applying to jobs and internships too. My psychologist was also really helpful in defining my career goals, giving exam advice, techniques to manage stress, and encouraging me. I also turn to people my age for advice about my field. Other possible suggestions: - Teachers/Tutors - Counsellors - Employment agencies - Coaching services - Networking - Recruitment agencies Have the things you've worried about changed over time or across your life? Why/why not? Do you have any advice/experiences to share with everyone about dealing with uncertainty/stress surrounding the future? Yes, the things I've had to cope with have changed throughout my life, so I've worried about different things. For example, my sister suddenly got sick late last year, which threw all our plans into disarray and we had to rearrange our lives around her conditions. As my grandmother gets older and more frail, I have got more worried about her care and it makes me very anxious to leave her home alone. We used to be able to go interstate with her living alone, so it wasn't as big of an issue then. In the last few years, my grandpa also developed a medical condition that can only be treated by brain surgery (which is risky for him), otherwise it will get worse over time. Thinking about the care that he will eventually need makes me anxious. In school, there was a lot of pressure on me to get high marks, so I was afraid of getting bad results. Now as I get older, I worry about finding employment and getting into postgraduate programs. There are always new stressors and things to worry about. My advice would be to adapt your coping to target the specific worry as this has helped me in the past. For example, I have a lot of intrusive thoughts about my eye problems like, 'I hate my eyes' and 'I wish I could see better' and those lead to a lot of other negative thoughts. Reframing or changing the thoughts doesn't really help me with these kinds of thoughts because the situation just isn't that good and it's no fun having vision problems and eye pain. So I try to accept the thoughts and let them drift away so that they don't interrupt what I'm doing. I haven't tried apps like ReachOut Worrytime but I would imagine that they would help in a similar way. You could also write down the worry and then come back to it later. Meditations are also really helpful for me. With other situations, it has sometimes helped me to focus on the positives and think, 'Is it really that bad?' CBT with a psychologist or tool can sometimes be helpful in changing the way you think about your worries. Another thing that has helped me is recognising that most situations don't last forever. Things may be bad or uncertain now, but they might not be in the future. ... View more

@Bananatime04  You don't deserve to feel pain. I hope you can feel better. Is there anything that can distract you? ... View more

@Bananatime04  I'm sorry that you're going through some more problems. Is there anything that we can help you with? ... View more

I haven't had a real in-depth conversation about sexuality, but some people know about my sexuality through casual conversation. I think what has helped when I've had conversations with people about sexuality is not making things into a big deal, not persuading anyone into doing things that they don't want to do and not getting other people involved. Having a sense of humour can be really helpful in lightening the mood and making people more comfortable. If someone tells me about their sexuality, I try to make sure that they know that I'll support them. ... View more

@Bananatime04  I hope that you get to talk to your KHL counsellor soon. Hopefully there isn't too much of a queue. Is there anything that you can do while you wait? Maybe you can do some online quizzes, read some articles, do some puzzles or play a game while you wait. Or you can talk to us. ... View more

@Bento  I'm glad that things are working out for you! It's great that the place is understanding. Well done on having some goals! ... View more

Hi @Jardin! I'm really sorry about what you, your family and your friends are going through. That sounds so difficult. I can see where your concerns are coming from. When one family member is sick, it affects the whole family. It can cause a lot of stress for everyone, which can put a dent in your mental health. Are you able to do things to look after yourself too? That could make it easier for you to support your friends and sister. It doesn't have to be something huge. It could be as simple as doing a hobby, having a warm bath, listening to something relaxing or reading a book. There are a lot of self-care resources and suggestions here. This section of the website is also really useful and applies to your situation. It sounds like you are under some pressure from your family to help your sister get better. Remember, as hard as it may seem to realise, your sister's health is not your responsibility. I know it sounds harsh, but coming to this realisation has helped me cope with my own family members' health issues. If something is too much for me, I try to get support from others. Being in a positive headspace and taking a break from time to time also helps me support my family members. Are you able to ask other family members for assistance? This thread might be helpful for eating issues. I hope things improve for you, your sister and friends soon. ... View more

How do you deal with stress about the future? Are you more que sera, sera, or do you want to know now for certain where you're headed in future?  I think it depends on what it is about. With my caring responsibilities, I really needed to know for certain what was going on. I wanted to have an idea of when I was going to get assistance, for how long and what it would involve. With my sister, the hospitals and doctors often expected us to drop everything and come to a meeting, drop off disability aids, organise home support or come to the hospital at very short notice. Some of us had to take time off work, it cost me job opportunities and there were times I had to reschedule appointments and interviews. The hospital staff kept changing their mind about what they were doing as well. Just last week, we made preparations and went to the hospital having been told that she would be discharged the next day, only to be told that they were delaying the discharge for another week. They also delayed her admission several times, often at the last minute, and told us to call every day to see if she would be admitted. I really need to know exactly what was happening so that I could organise the other aspects of my life. I also wanted to go into the new year having my own goals to achieve and less stress, but that didn't happen this year and probably won't happen next year either. My goals have had to change in order to accommodate the caring. With my studies, I didn't really have a 'backup plan' if I didn't get into the courses I wanted to get into. I wanted to study either law or psychology and couldn't see myself in a lot of other careers other than perhaps journalism. I was on the merit list throughout university and put a lot of pressure on myself to get high marks and do an honours degree. If I got anything less than a distinction, I would ask the marker why I received that mark and show that I met the marking criteria rather than letting it go. I wanted to feel as if I was 'on track' with achieving my goals. But I have now realised there is a lot more to life than just study. When I didn't get into the course I wanted to get into last year, I just thought that I would gain more experience and reapply when admissions next opened. With some other things, such as volunteering opportunities, I wasn't as stressed out about them unless the people in charge were taking ages to get back to me. I knew that I could always look for other positions if they didn't accept me. Although, it was kind of stressful and demotivating being knocked back from a lot of roles. ... View more

@mspaceK  I'm so glad that the KHL session went well! It's great that you have some supportive professionals around you. You've been doing a great job with taking steps to improve your mental health. I'm so proud of you! How are the self-care and positive affirmations going? Maybe you could make a list of what you find helpful so you can remember them in the future. ... View more

No (I'm allergic to them, sadly). Do you like pranks? ... View more

Is there anything about your plans that's giving you a bit of anxiety/stress or that you're uncertain about? I don't know if I'll get into postgraduate study because it's so competitive. I also don't know how I will juggle my caring responsibilities with study. Although I am getting some extra support now, I will need to make sure that one of the family members I am caring for is supported when I'm out of the house. That will be one less thing to worry about. I also have a health condition which I have to take treatments for multiple times a day, so I will have to bring my medications around with me, which I've never had to do before, and it kind of limits some of the things I can do. If my doctors decide that I need surgery, I don't know when I can schedule it either. ... View more

@scared01  Caring for someone with dementia is so hard. One of my family members has it and I suspect one of the people I'm caring for has it too. Like you, I have to often check up on what they are doing and make sure they are safe. I get really worried about the future because I've been told that it will get worse over time. So far, that's been true. One of the worst things about it is that they are doubly incontinent but don't clean up after themselves and refuse to do anything about it such as wearing incontinence underwear. Good luck for your surgery! I hope it all goes well and you have a smooth recovery. It sounds pretty major. I've had a few surgeries and procedures myself and not knowing what to expect can be really nerve-wracking. Everyone is different too. I read that some people found one of the things I had to be very painful, but I ended up being in hardly any pain. My doctors have been discussing the possibility of me having another surgery but it depends on how I respond to my current treatments. I don't think it's going to be any time soon and I don't want to do it unless it is necessary. Something I have found useful is to know the potential side effects of surgeries and procedures in advance, what is normal and what isn't, and when to see a doctor or go to hospital. ... View more

@N1ghtW1ng  Congratulations on graduating! That's still an achievement, even if it is with a different degree. That's a really tricky situation. I tend to assume that people are going to react negatively and think that I've disappointed them. I know that we can't really read minds, but it's still a hard thing to get over. Are your parents generally supportive of you? I hope that if you do end up telling them, they will be understanding and supportive. You never know. I was in a similar position as you last year. I told my parents that I was going to do a full time unpaid internship to get experience after I graduated from university. I was accepted into it, but when I actually started, I found that it was very exploitative. They failed to inform me about critical aspects of the position and it was completely different (and less appealing) to what I had originally been told. The employers harrassed and lied to me at every opportunity and turned on me when I tried to bring up these issues and reach a compromise. I was filled with a sense of dread going there. Entire days were spent trying to sort out the issues that they created for me rather than actually learning or doing anything productive. Eventually, I just quietly left without telling anyone (no one seemed to notice or care) and spent that whole night being physically sick. I knew that there was no way I could do it and the other interns were also struggling with it. Lying in bed, I couldn't help but think how much better my life would be if I quit. I was so sick and sleep deprived from the hours that I was working and being made to respond to emails even at midnight that I couldn't bring myself to show up the next day. Instead, I sent an email telling them that the position wasn't for me. My mum and a few other family members were supportive, but my dad was really disappointed even though he was aware of the issues I was having with them. He thinks that I wasted a year of my life, even though I was technically only with them for a few months and found another internship soon after. Personally, I don't think it was a waste because it helped me think about what I really wanted. You could point this out to your parents if they find out. If the stress of being a teacher was affecting your mental health or giving you burnout, you could also tell them this. If they are disappointed in you, that's their problem to deal with. You know yourself better than anyone. If you decide that something isn't for you, it's okay to quit. It's not a crime to change your mind. There could be people telling you what you should or should not have done, but they are not the ones walking in your shoes. They are not you. If your instincts were telling you that being a teacher wasn't right for you, they were probably correct. Our instincts evolved to keep us safe and guide us towards what is best for us. I felt really alone and like no one understood what I was going through at the time. But wanting to quit something without something else lined up is an issue that affects thousands of people and can happen at any time in life. I turned to the internet for support and validation and found that many people had done similar things and were better for it. Perhaps your parents have too. Things will work out for you eventually. I was able to find other things to do that suited my interests better and you will too. A weight was lifted off my shoulders after I quit and I knew that I had made the right decision. Even though my next position wasn't that good either, it was at least a tiny bit better and more relevant to my goals than the one I quit. I am much happier in the positions I am doing now. ... View more

@Beautifullybroken  That's so true! One of my family members is currently seeing a professional who doesn't seem to understand that they aren't benefiting from the treatment, even though they have expressed this multiple times. Their symptoms actually get worse as they do the treatment. But the professional just keeps making up various excuses for it not working and getting them to persist with it. They don't seem to get that some people just don't respond to certain treatments. I had one professional ask me every time I saw them, 'Is this helpful or unhelpful?' I think more people should do this. ... View more

I love these responses! Here is today's question: Is there anything about your plans that's giving you a bit of anxiety/stress or that you're uncertain about? ... View more