@letitgo @WheresMySquishy @TOM-RO @Tasi @gina-RO wow thank you to all of you for such fast and detailed responses. It really means a lot to hear such overwhelming support so quickly. Everything that's been said has been eye opening and it really makes things feel a lot better to know that I am not alone in this. I get the feeling the feeling of isolation is falsified, and in actual fact there are so many others in similar circumstances. I'm taking each day as it comes and I find that keeping busy really helps. I want to set some goals to be more open to opportunities that come my way and to try and stop dwelling on the past by, again, keeping busy and distracted. Thank you again to everyone and I'm hoping I'll be able to get through this soon.
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Hi, first time posting here. I'm 21 and over the last couple years in particular have been struggling with the social aspect of my life. I've put a lot of focus on career and academic progression and have an incredible job that I love (so much so that I don't think I've ever dreaded going to work). Despite this, I've been feeling very lonely and inadequate. The expectation for people my age is to be out having fun, being in relationships, exploring things like sex and just living life, because that's what you're supposed to do when you're young, right!? Sure, career progression is great, but I feel pressure from my friends and even my family to actually go out and have a proper social life, meaning that every time I do go to work this idea is constantly in the back of my mind. I have regrets about wasting time and wasting my youth and it really frustrates me because I really do enjoy work (in fact more recently I've realised it's the only real thing that gives me validation in life). I've never been in a relationship, nor have I ever come close to one. I have no sexual experience and have almost zero confidence in myself form this standpoint. Sure I am a good speaker and can hold decent conversations with people easily, but I simply cannot fathom a situation where a girl would actually want to be with me. Why would anyone look at me and go 'oh wow he's good looking, I'd really like to be with him'? This is really killing me as I feel like all I need right now is for someone to show some interest and to give me a bit of confidence to say 'hey look there are people out there who like you!' Of course I have liked people before, and I've damn near fallen in love with someone too. But in basically all of those situations I've ended up discovering that the girl has no reciprocal feelings (either through my own inference or by her actually saying so). I'm 21 and have met so many people and been through so many friends, so if it hasn't happened up till now, why would it ever? Some people say 'just put yourself out there!', and others say things like 'you don't need to try, it'll happen eventually'. So what is it? I've tried both, and both have failed. I have really just lost hope, leaving me in a state of perpetual discontent. I have a decent group of friends (mix of guys and girls), but none of them super close, so it's tricky to discuss these things with them. It's tricky to discuss it at all because it makes me feel like more and more of an inadequate loser every time I think about it. I'm struggling to be truly happy at any point other than when I'm at work and don't know how to resolve it. Would be really great to hear anyone's insight into this, or if anyone is experiencing similar problems!
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