Hi @keezeik,   I just wanted to say I'm sorry I missed this thread last week. I had a very stressful week and needed to take some time for myself to get through a big pile of work.   It looks like you got some great advice from @Taylor-RO and @xXLexi_Lou122Xx  though, which is really good :)   It sounds like you really care about this friend and that you guys speak about some really interesting stuff! I have some of the best conversation with friends of mine who have different interests. ... View more

@keezeik  sounds good :) I'm glad you made a decision based on your own needs   I guess if they reach out again after the party you will know if they had intended to reach out or it was an accident ... View more

Hey @keezeik,   I definitely have some old friends who I used to hangout with a lot but since have realized they actually aren't that good as friends or aren't good for my state of mind. I sort of put them in the 'sometime friend box' where if I see them or they turn up to something I am at I will talk to them and have fun but I don't rely on them for support like I do my close friends.   One good thing about your situation is the ball is definitely in your court. If you decide the friend's relationship to you is definitely toxic and it would be harmful to your mental health to go I think it's never wrong to look out for yourself.   On the other hand, maybe now your friend is genuinely trying to reach out again and you could go for a little bit (maybe suggest you have another event or bring a friend with you) so if you see any toxic signs you can leave quickly.    I guess I don't know much about the friend though! Would you like to rekindle your friendship? Or have you been happier since it has drifted? ... View more

1. What did you do, or will you do this week to treat yourself?  I let myself have a bit of a more 'chill' week workwise with more me time than usual   2. Think of something nice you can say to yourself as your receive/ give this gift to yourself . imagine you were someone else getting it for you, and what you would write on the card, or say as you gave the gift. Why do you deserve this gift? Tasi, you deserve not be 100% full force all the time. That is a recipe for burning out. You may feel less productive this week but over all this will help to keep you going and you should never feel guilty for needing down time or having a slower week. ... View more

@lennycat2017  yes 100% I have done that! I have done it while actually being on the phone complaining about not having my phone hahaha!   @Bananatime04 yeah it does hurt sometimes.... I think I mostly just laugh at how silly I have been! Who knew phones were so dangerous? ... View more

Hi @Aluzar,   Welcome to the RO forums.   It sounds like you are dealing with a lot right now and it is such a good thing that you have expressed yourself here. I really just wanted to echo the sentiment that RO is a very supportive community.    @Jane_Rose has given you some really great resources already. Particularly the link to a self care plan. I often use the resources here when I am feeling over whelmed. If you do use any of them I would love to hear if they helped you.   How was your day at school?     ... View more

Hi @cj123,   I just wanted to also jump in and say welcome   @lennycat2017 has made some really great points. I agree with them that it is great to connect with people over hobbies. I find if I am going to a class or an event for something I like it takes the pressure of meeting people away. You can focus on doing the thing you like and end up sharing in the experience which I find makes talking to people much easier.   Also as @lennycat2017 said the RO community is very friendly and you can always find support here :) ... View more

@dncinginthedirt    Lol I can definitely relate   Also, have you ever done the thing where u are on your phone in bed and you drop it on your face? For some reason this made me think of that! ... View more

I smiled because my dog went outside to bury his greenie in the backyard and he came back into the house with his snout covered in dirt! So cute haha ... View more

This is a very good post and climate change can be such a scary thing to worry about.   It is very small steps but my resolution this year was to try and cut out all one use plastic and I have been doing pretty good!   I have also been thinking of changing my bank account to one that doesn't invest in fossil fuels.... maybe a long shot but does anyone have any advice for that? ... View more

Hi @xXLexi_Lou122Xx ,   Thanks for sharing your songs!    I am always looking for new stuff to listen to on my bus ride so I'll have to give them a listen. I also really love Meg Mac... her cover of Grandma's Hands is so soulful. I always interpret as someone who was going through something who had their grandma as a support system and now they don't and they are figuring out how to do it on their own. Maybe that is the meaning who knows?   I find music super therapeutic. Do you ever find the meaning of a song changes over time as your in a different spot in your life? ... View more

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx ,   This is a cool thread.... I am really big Hozier fan and I find meaning in pretty much all of his songs. Really sappy but his song 'Movement' always makes me think of my partner and how much what we do can affect the people in our lives.   What about you? Were you thinking of any songs when you made the post?   ... View more

Hey @Bananatime04 ,   Thanks for alerting me to the trigger warning, that was really great for you to do. I did read the thread and I'm sad to hear about what got you down today. I will say though that it sounds like you are getting some great support over on that thread with members sharing their experiences. I guess relating to the confidence stuff I know from experience bringing this kind of stuff up takes a lot of bravery and the fact that you are already thinking that you want to tell someone to me makes me think you are pretty brave.   From what I can tell you seem really supportive on that thread and care for others even when you are going through stuff which is very admirable.  ... View more

Hey @Bananatime04 ,   Please don't apologize! It sound like you've had a day of some tough stuff that was outside your control so, congrats on surviving it!!   I'm sorry to hear that something has put you down today. If you wanted to talk about it I'm here to listen but if you have worked through it already and don't want to bring it back up I understand. Other than that I hope your day at school went ok :) I have had a very unproductive day of procrastination (oops)   Lastly, please know everyone deserves help <3 and there is usually more than one way if a certain kind of help isn't working out   ... View more

Hey @Bananatime04 ,   I hope it goes really well today and that @letitgo's advice really works for u!!   I was thinking about your thread today and I realised I completely forgot that other than writing down what I want to say, the other thing I do is listen to really pumped up music right before I have to do something that makes me nervous! It sounds silly but I pretend I'm in a movie with a great sound track and I feel super great walking around with my ear phones in hahah!   If you have some music that hypes you up I recommend!   ... View more

Hey @Bananatime04 , I definitely get nervous talking to people (are icebreaker games anyone else's actual nightmare?). I think talking to a counselor is also a really great place to work on it as well as it's a supportive person in a one on one environment :)    I find I always feel most nervous when I'm not prepared, sometimes I think I'm prepared in my head but then coming to say it out loud is a whole other thing. Before I have to talk about something I always either write it down or practice out loud to myself because I find knowing the literal words I want to say always makes me feel more confident.   Have you ever tried something like before seeing your counselor? ... View more

Hey @keezeik,   How are you today?    And I hope that method helps you a bit! Writing was my least favorite thing in school and it's really helped me :)   Also I think you may find to a lot of people don't mind if you end up explaining things in a round about way, I don't think I've ever walked away from a conversation thinking they didn't get to the point quick enough   Hope you had a great Tuesday :)  ... View more

Hey @keezeik ,   I thought I might share some advice my uni lecturer once gave me when I struggled with writing.   She told me that for 15mins straight I should just write and not look at the screen at all and only after that time could I read or edit it. I used to get so caught up with how it sounded I couldn't get past the first sentences till they sounded perfect, but actually having my thoughts down (even if they are long and meandering) actually gave me something to work with.   Do you think something like this would help? If you give it a go I'd love to hear if it does or doesn't work for u. ... View more

Hey @scared01 ,   I thought I would reply because I definitely feel you. I am at the stage of my life where most people have finished studying and are moving onto new careers and fun new adventures. I on the other hand have decided to do some further study. Whilst I am sure what I am studying is something I'm interested in and what I want to do, it can feel pretty hard to watch everyone have all of these new experiences while I am at the same uni, living in the same place, doing the same commute everyday.    When it really gets me down I try to focus on the fact that I am doing what I think is right for me and given the choice again I would make the same one. I also remind myself life isn't linear and there isn't a 'right' time to be making new steps.    It sounds like your life is pretty fulfilling! Can I ask what you mean by moving backwards?  ... View more

Hi, Im tasi,    Nice to meet you all!   Would you rather explore a new planet or the deepest parts of the ocean? Why? Probably the deepest parts of the ocean. I love the sea and also I think the travel time would be shorter ;)   If you had to teach a subject, what would it be? I love science so I think I would be a science teacher. Having just a basic knowledge of science and how things works makes you a more equipped citizen. I think it helps you to problem solve in the world and make informed decisions without just trusting what the media around you says. For example knowing how your body works makes you less likely to be tricked into diets that are bad for you.   What motivates you to succeed? I really love the feeling of working for something and feeling proud of your work. I always find when I work on a project and I am proud of my work the results usually don't matter (but often come anyway)    How would you survive a zombie apocalypse? I honestly might have to join the zombies..... haha I am pretty clumsy so I think I may fall over in an escape. In my head though this usually leads to others escaping so I'll sacrifice myself for the cause ;)   If you were an animal, what would you be and why? I would be a dog because I think my dog has the best life! He sends his time napping, going for walk and being cuddled and that sounds like a pretty great existence to me   What kind of magical power would you like to have? I would like to teleport and I would visit countries all around the world! ... View more

Hi @Lone_soul ,   That i a very difficult situation with no real right answer. 4 years is a very long time and I know from experience distance can be draining.   I will say that I think honesty is the way I would go. I have found that even when I haven't wanted to have certain conversations with people finally opening up with my loved ones has always made me feel better in the end. Also, the only way to talk through things and come up with a good solution together is with open communication. You will both have needs and wants in this relationship and it might be good for you both to have a really good conversation about what the reality is and what you both think the best outcome for your own and the others well being is.    I really wish you luck in what you decide to do and regardless of what happens it's great you have found such a good connection with somebody ... View more

Hi @delta413,   Everything said so far has been really great advice. I just thought I'd jump in and add I didn't get into my first relationship until I was just about to turn 23. I had many of the same worries as you that I was missing out and that I would never find someone.   Even though you shouldn't compare yourself to others as there isn't on 'right path', I think you would be surprised how many other people also don't have these experiences until their early 20s and even later. A lot of people feel the pressure that they should have done certain things romantically by a certain age and so aren't vocal about the fact they haven't. This results in a lot of people feeling alone in not having these experiences. I know when I finally admitted how late my first relationship was I was surprised by how common it actually was.   To answer the 'put yourself out there' vs. 'it will come' debate I would say keep working on your own goals and say yes to new opportunities to meeting new people, but only ones you are generally interested in and would enjoy going to. If you are meeting people through things you love (maybe through your work) you start out with things in common.   I would say just start off by trying to make connections with people and try not to focus on finding a partner. If you are just meeting people and having fun, you yourself will come across as more relaxed and there is way less pressure. Then, regardless of who you met, you enjoyed an event about something you actually like and you met other people with similar interests to talk about it with. My first relationship happened because I went somewhere new and knew no one. I was too focused on trying to make sure I had friends to be worried about romantic stuff.  ... View more