Hey @Pyrotechnic, Have you just started at this new school? It's fairly common to struggle to make friends initially, especially if the environment is different from the one you're used to. What are some things that you've tried so far to make friends? Making good friends is actually a lot harder than people make it seem, and it takes a lot of time for most people, so don't feel discouraged just yet. @Sophia-RO raised some good points about practising conversational skills, so definitely read through her tips! Something that helped me in school was offering to help others understand topics they were struggling with. It can be a good way to start a conversation with someone new, which could lead to conversations about non-school related things, potentially a friendship! ... View more

My tip would be to study with others if you can, it really does help to make this whole process a lot less stressful! You could set up zoom study sessions where everyone will pick a concept, then take turns explaining it to the group. This works really well for content-heavy subjects like bio, psych and chem. ... View more

@hunginc It seems like you're starting to slowly recover from the burnout, which is really great! It will take some time until you feel fully recovered, but just keep taking small steps like the ones you've already taken, and you'll get there eventually. Learning to listen to your body is much easier said than done, so don't feel discouraged if you find the process difficult. It seems like you're making some great decisions for yourself and surrounding yourself with the right people, so I'm sure you'll be okay :) ... View more

There's the possibility that it's the lying, the fact that she can't find the truth that's what's making her upset. Most people only get angry about things they genuinely care about. From what you've said here, it does seem like your mum really cares about you and your future. So if it's possible to tell her how you've been managing it, explain what you're eating and when and more importantly, that feel better now, it could ease up some of her fears. ... View more

Hi @Blurryphaced, Firstly, it seems like you know what's causing the issue, and that's a really important first step! Why do feel like you need to lie to her about how you're managing it? Is it different from the way she wants you to manage it? It seems like you've found some progress with the way that you're managing your ED currently, there could be a way you can communicate this to her without her getting upset. Your mum does seem like she's coming from a place of worry and concern, so I think it's safe to say she's in your corner, as are we :) ... View more

Just read through this thread, and I'm so glad that you've done this, it seems like the best thing you could have done for yourself at this stage. ... View more

I was going to comment, but you've basically written out the exact same fears that I have. I'm still learning how to navigate through these fears myself in a healthy way, so I don't have much advice to give. All I'll say is that you are definitely not alone in feeling the way you do. ... View more

Hey @Blurryphaced, It seems like you are in a tricky situation here, would she be open to explaining why she's feeling suspicious of your ED with you? Maybe she's seeing you do something that's really worrying her? ... View more

Hey @xraychick, Welcome to ReachOut! It's awesome to see that you are reaching out for support not just in-person, but online as well :) I do agree with your psychologist. It's incredibly important to accept your body as it is and to also accept its changes. Try not to worry too much about what "normal exercise" looks like, or what "regular people" want to achieve. For example, most people like to go to the gym, however, the idea of going into a gym and people watching me work out really stresses me out, so I've opted to buy a treadmill and just workout at home instead. It's more important to find an activity that you'll find fun and also something that you can participate in regularly. Don't focus on what sort of body you want to have, but on what will make you feel happy. Since you're really conflicted at the moment, I would just try to come up with a bunch of different activities that sound fun/interesting to you. Write up a list, and go through them one by one, and hopefully you'll find something that is enjoyable and you can stick to. Explore and experiment, but most importantly have fun with it :) ... View more

Hey @xraychick, Welcome to ReachOut! It's awesome to see that you are reaching out for support not just in-person, but online as well :) I do agree with your psychologist. It's incredibly important to accept your body as it is and to also accept its changes. Try not to worry too much about what "normal exercise" looks like, or what "regular people" want to achieve. For example, most people like to go to the gym, however, the idea of going into a gym and people watching me work out really stresses me out, so I've opted to buy a treadmill and just workout at home instead. It's more important to find an activity that you'll find fun and also something that you can participate in regularly. Don't focus on what sort of body you want to have, but on what will make you feel happy. Since you're really conflicted at the moment, I would just try to come up with a bunch of different activities that sound fun/interesting to you. Write up a list, and go through them one by one, and hopefully you'll find something that is enjoyable and you can stick to. Explore and experiment, but most importantly have fun with it :) ... View more

Hi @ShaiShai666, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with this situation right now, it's a pretty stressful position to be in. It's good that you're going to see a relationship counsellor, they can be really useful in picking out reoccurring communication issues that are straining the relationship. You've taken reasonable steps to try and reach a resolution, which you should be proud of! I would say just try to remain civil with your boyfriend until your appointment next week. During your appointment, be open and honest about how you are feeling (talk about how frustrated you are, and how his lies are affecting you), and hopefully, this will encourage him to open up as well. Feel free to come back and share how your appointment has gone, or if you need support in any other area in general :) ... View more

@Lacuna99 You can never go wrong with Lizzo's music she's incredible!   Personally I really like Katy Perry's "Smile" and "Daisies", the lyrics are quite profound given that she wrote them in the wake of her struggle with depression.   Old school Nicki Minaj is great too, especially "I'm legit"! Switches my mood so quickly!   Beyonce has been putting up some really great tracks in the "Black is King" album. Especially "Find Your Way Back", "My Power" and "Brown Skin Girl". Wheere were these songs when I was a kid?? ... View more

Hi @Blurryphaced, It's hard when you feel like you are losing the only person you can connect to, I've been there before, and can say from experience that it's the loneliest feeling in the world. The thing with anxiety is that it often makes you feel like you are the only one that feels the way you do. I think that's why your friend pushed you away- not because she was trying to hurt your feelings, but perhaps because she doesn't believe you can understand what she's going through. This is difficult to come to terms with, but the important thing is to remain supportive: Always tell her that you're there for her whenever you need it, and she'll open up to you when she feels ready. I think the fact that she feels bad for not being able to hang out with you is proof that she still loves and cares about you, perhaps she's just having trouble balancing out her time between her friends? It might help if you can talk to her and maybe organise a time where you can catch up over zoom? Like say, every Sat night at 8pm, you'll get onto a video call with her, and just hangout :) I know that you may feel tempted to cut off all your connections, but please don't do this. You may not feel it, but I promise you do deserve to have friends that you can share everything with. You don't deserve, nor are you destined to be alone for the rest of your life. You feel sad about the thought of losing her for a reason. There's a genuine connection that you've built with her, so protect that as much as you can. If you start to pull away, she may think that you don't like her anymore, and then she'll start to pull away too. Come back if there's anything else you need to get off your chest <3 ... View more

Hi @_navyi,   I'm not sure there's "socially acceptable" time to begin a relationship, it's just whenever you both feel comfortable!    If you both have feelings for each other, and would like to progress the relationship into a romantic one, then there shouldn't really be an issue :)   I hope this answers your question! Feel free to ask anymore questions, or anything else you'd like to discuss further :)   ... View more

Hey @acnhxanadu, I think the best thing to do is to sit down with her and honestly talk about how you feel. This conversation may feel awkward and uncomfortable, but unfortunately this is one of those things that won't resolve itself or get better with time, you should do something before it gets worse. The thing is she may not know how she's making you feel. When she sees that you're not spending time with her/ speaking less she may not be able to understand why, because you aren't explicitly telling her. I feel there might be a misunderstanding between the relationship she thinks she has with you. She could think that the hurtful things she says to you is just "friendly banter", and assumes that you already know that. I've had to have difficult conversations like this with friends before, and it's definitely not fun. However it will help both of you see if it's a friendship that can be saved, or if it's time to walk away. Also please try to not read about other people's experiences about toxic relationships if you can. Every relationship is really different, and people can be biased when they're describing it (e.g. presenting themselves in a better light) so you'll just confuse/stress yourself out by comparing your relationship to their (usually inaccurate) descriptions. It's a tough conversation, but I think it's worth having. Be honest, open and gentle - don't "confront" her, just say that you are worried/aren't happy with where the friendship is at. Encourage her to do the same. Ask her why she feel like she needs to "be better" than you, ask her why she never asks about you. Let us know what you decide to do, or if you want to chat about anything else further :) ... View more

Hey @gmusicj ,   Have you tried writing about how you're feeling? As in just taking a pen and pouring your soul out into a journal. This approach has helped me calm down when I feel like I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack, it may help you as well.    If you do choose to try this out, don't think too much about what you're going to write (don't bother with punctuation/grammar/spelling), just write whatever words/thoughts come into your mind at that moment - kinda like word vomit. ... View more

Hey @ILAUVEDEN, Are you able to get in touch with this uncle? Talking to him about how he deals with his depression may help you deal with your own. Since he is taboo for your family, chances are he may feel isolated and alone as well - you may find solace in the fact that you aren't alone. I find depression is one of those topics that only people that have experienced it themselves truly understand how awful it feels, so he may be someone worth reaching out to xxx ... View more

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx No worries! ... View more

@Decal21 Absolutely! People can tell when you're not seriously considering their ideas, and only vaguely acknowledging them, and this can be quite hurtful :( ... View more

@WheresMySquishy I haven't considered looking at their attitude towards all their subjects before, this can be a pretty good way to see how interested they are in their grades in general :) ... View more

@Milkninja222 This is a really insightful response, and shows how perceptive you are :) Non verbal cues can say so much more than verbal ones sometimes. I agree with everything in here :) ... View more

I think this is one of the few situations in group work where having private conversations with the individual is better than group ones. They're more likely to open up and share any issues that could be too intimidating to share in a group setting. In the first case, I'm not sure what I would do other than letting the teacher/tutor know about it (although this seems a little tooo harsh, maybe there's a better approach?) In the second case, I would reassure them that they do have value to provide to the group. This might be done by chatting with them to see where their strengths lie, then giving them more tasks that require that, so they feel more included/confident/valued :) ... View more

Another great thing that can come from group work is making friends with people that you may have never made otherwise (because you're in a different social circle/group from them) ... View more

Being in a group where everyone is super motivated to getting a good mark is always a blessing. Everything runs smoothly, other members are more willing to provide feedback on each other's work, so the end result is incredible! Sometimes I've been in groups where we've finished a week ahead of the due date! Wish every group project was as smooth :( ... View more

@ecla34Omg that sounds like a nightmare! I think sometimes you can sort of predict how invested a group member is in a project from the start and prepare a contingency plan, especially if its a project that only looks at the final product (not individual effort). If you someone is being unresponsive/not providing updates on their progress, I've done their part (along with some other worried group members) just in case they decide to not do their portion properly after all. Provides some relief to a worrier like me haha, although it is unfair ... View more

A challenge I've faced more in uni is organising in-person meet ups. Schedules sometimes just don't want to align, and I've frequently been in group projects where I've never ended up seeing some of the group members in person! ... View more

@ecla34 All very important skills! I think empathy is also an important one too. ... View more

Hey @Pasta, thanks for joining in! Talking in person is really invaluable since words are less likely to be misinterpreted, since you can each other's body language as well, something that's pretty hard to communicate via text (although you can try to simulate it with emoticons!) ... View more

Hi @Pasta, The theme for today's discussion is group work, and the question right now is What are some strategies to prevent unnecessary conflict? If it does arise, what are some ways of managing conflict in a group? What do you think? ... View more