Hey @acnhxanadu, I think the best thing to do is to sit down with her and honestly talk about how you feel. This conversation may feel awkward and uncomfortable, but unfortunately this is one of those things that won't resolve itself or get better with time, you should do something before it gets worse. The thing is she may not know how she's making you feel. When she sees that you're not spending time with her/ speaking less she may not be able to understand why, because you aren't explicitly telling her. I feel there might be a misunderstanding between the relationship she thinks she has with you. She could think that the hurtful things she says to you is just "friendly banter", and assumes that you already know that. I've had to have difficult conversations like this with friends before, and it's definitely not fun. However it will help both of you see if it's a friendship that can be saved, or if it's time to walk away. Also please try to not read about other people's experiences about toxic relationships if you can. Every relationship is really different, and people can be biased when they're describing it (e.g. presenting themselves in a better light) so you'll just confuse/stress yourself out by comparing your relationship to their (usually inaccurate) descriptions. It's a tough conversation, but I think it's worth having. Be honest, open and gentle - don't "confront" her, just say that you are worried/aren't happy with where the friendship is at. Encourage her to do the same. Ask her why she feel like she needs to "be better" than you, ask her why she never asks about you. Let us know what you decide to do, or if you want to chat about anything else further :) ... View more

Hey @lost_Space_Explorer5, I don't think you are overreacting at all, it's perfectly a reasonable reaction to something like this. Counselors are generally sensitive to how emotionally dependent their clients become on them, so perhaps you could have one last conversation with them as to how you can move forward. I'm sure they won't think it's weird and it might help you get some "closure". There could be a possibility of you talking to them again somehow, so please don't be afraid to share how you fell with your counselor before they leave. ... View more

Hey @gmusicj ,   Have you tried writing about how you're feeling? As in just taking a pen and pouring your soul out into a journal. This approach has helped me calm down when I feel like I'm on the verge of an anxiety attack, it may help you as well.    If you do choose to try this out, don't think too much about what you're going to write (don't bother with punctuation/grammar/spelling), just write whatever words/thoughts come into your mind at that moment - kinda like word vomit. ... View more

Hey @ILAUVEDEN, Are you able to get in touch with this uncle? Talking to him about how he deals with his depression may help you deal with your own. Since he is taboo for your family, chances are he may feel isolated and alone as well - you may find solace in the fact that you aren't alone. I find depression is one of those topics that only people that have experienced it themselves truly understand how awful it feels, so he may be someone worth reaching out to xxx ... View more

@xXLexi_Lou122Xx No worries! ... View more

@Decal21 Absolutely! People can tell when you're not seriously considering their ideas, and only vaguely acknowledging them, and this can be quite hurtful :( ... View more

@WheresMySquishy I haven't considered looking at their attitude towards all their subjects before, this can be a pretty good way to see how interested they are in their grades in general :) ... View more

@Milkninja222 This is a really insightful response, and shows how perceptive you are :) Non verbal cues can say so much more than verbal ones sometimes. I agree with everything in here :) ... View more

I think this is one of the few situations in group work where having private conversations with the individual is better than group ones. They're more likely to open up and share any issues that could be too intimidating to share in a group setting. In the first case, I'm not sure what I would do other than letting the teacher/tutor know about it (although this seems a little tooo harsh, maybe there's a better approach?) In the second case, I would reassure them that they do have value to provide to the group. This might be done by chatting with them to see where their strengths lie, then giving them more tasks that require that, so they feel more included/confident/valued :) ... View more

Another great thing that can come from group work is making friends with people that you may have never made otherwise (because you're in a different social circle/group from them) ... View more

Being in a group where everyone is super motivated to getting a good mark is always a blessing. Everything runs smoothly, other members are more willing to provide feedback on each other's work, so the end result is incredible! Sometimes I've been in groups where we've finished a week ahead of the due date! Wish every group project was as smooth :( ... View more

@ecla34Omg that sounds like a nightmare! I think sometimes you can sort of predict how invested a group member is in a project from the start and prepare a contingency plan, especially if its a project that only looks at the final product (not individual effort). If you someone is being unresponsive/not providing updates on their progress, I've done their part (along with some other worried group members) just in case they decide to not do their portion properly after all. Provides some relief to a worrier like me haha, although it is unfair ... View more

A challenge I've faced more in uni is organising in-person meet ups. Schedules sometimes just don't want to align, and I've frequently been in group projects where I've never ended up seeing some of the group members in person! ... View more

@ecla34 All very important skills! I think empathy is also an important one too. ... View more

Hey @Pasta, thanks for joining in! Talking in person is really invaluable since words are less likely to be misinterpreted, since you can each other's body language as well, something that's pretty hard to communicate via text (although you can try to simulate it with emoticons!) ... View more

Hi @Pasta, The theme for today's discussion is group work, and the question right now is What are some strategies to prevent unnecessary conflict? If it does arise, what are some ways of managing conflict in a group? What do you think? ... View more

@Decal21 and @WheresMySquishy Yep communication is key! It's good to have a leader too, to act as first port of call when it comes to queries. ... View more

@Milkninja222 I agree,that's a good way to make sure people don't take things personally, and impact their self esteem. It also makes them more likely to continue to engage in the group work see through it till the end :) ... View more

There's been a good discussion going on here, keep it up!    Time for the next question:   What are some strategies to prevent unnecessary conflict?/If it does arise, what are some ways of managing conflict in a group? ... View more

@Milkninja222 I agree. I think it's also important to make sure everyone fully understands their role, and isn't feeling overwhelmed. This can especially be the case for international students new to Aus, who can be shy and not speak up as often. It's important to check in with these individuals a little more frequently I think. ... View more

Hey @xXLexi_Lou122Xx ,   I've been reading through some your posts in this thread, and it seems like your home environment isn't very positive at the moment. For these holidays, do you think you could get a volunteer position in your Youth Group? Or maybe a part-time job at a store you really like? Putting yourself in a more positive environment these holidays may help you feel a little better <3 ... View more

Okay, it seems like this issue is causing quite a bit of stress for you.   Are you worried about how they might react to what you want to tell them?   If you are, you could try and asking the question in a vague, hypothetical way, so that you can get a feel for what their reaction might be. For example, something like "What do you feel about (issue)?"   Hope this makes sense. If it's something else that's making you unsure of how to say it, let me know :) ... View more

Hey @Jazzy_Fizzle,   I'm sorry to hear that you've been having it rough lately. It seems like you feel stuck dealing with situations that you have little to no control over. I just wanted to say that this is almost never true, there's a light out of every tunnel      It may help to share details of your situation/s in a way you feel most comfortable (either anonymously online or to someone you trust). Sometimes talking through your feelings/frustrations with someone can open up new options/ things you can do that have not crossed your mind yet, which could lead you to feeling better/ your situation/s improving.   Just know that there are people out there who are willing to help you get through this. If not in your immediate surroundings, then always here    ... View more

This is a great idea @statuscaring!   I'm just grateful I get to come home to a stable, caring home environment every night. I didn't appreciate this enough when I was younger. It's something not every one can experience unfortunately, so I definitely don't take it for granted anymore  ... View more

Hi @Sadcookies!   Thank you for sharing your experience on the forum with us. Trust me you're not alone with this one :)   I used to feel like my parents were the same way that you described. I felt that there were too strict and over controlling, and that they just didn't understand how I felt. However, from talking to them, they were surprised that I felt that way- they felt they were just being caring and protective.   The thing is, some parents have a different idea of what love is, and some express it by being overly critical, thinking that it will motivate their child to improve and do better next time, not realising that they might actually be making them feel worse :(   Have you tried to talking to them about how you feel? At the end of the day they are certainly not on a mission to make your life hell, even if it does feel that way. Maybe they think that by pointing out all your mistakes, they are motivating you or are encouraging you to do better. They may not even realise how anxious it's making you feel! I would suggest you try and tell them that the way they criticise you isn't very helpful. Communication is key here, a lot of misunderstandings and hostile feelings can build up by keeping things inside.   Let me know what you think, and if there's anything that you would like to talk about more :) ... View more

Hi @SunnyC, It seems to me that you have a very black and white understanding of what a male should be or what a woman should be. We are really lucky to live in a great era where it's not a strictly feminine thing to wear makeup or to wear high waisted pants, nor is it a strictly masculine thing to have a short hair cut!   Maybe it could be helpful to forget the stereotypes for a minute (don't they suck?) and let's focus on working towards a image that makes YOU the most happy and comfortable.   You mentioned you lost a lot of weight, but still were unhappy with how you looked. Do you have a particular sport or exercise that you really enjoy? It might be possible for you to join a free class/group in your area (try meetups.com) that are all trying to get back into shape. Being able to talk to people in real life would make it a lot easier keep up your motivation, and you'll also receive a lot of support and love!   It might also be helpful to take pictures of your body before you start a new exercise, then take a picture after a few weeks of doing that exercise regularly. Seeing your progress visually might help you see how much your body can change with a consistent routine and it would be great motivation to continue     You could also go online and have a look at some hairstyles that you like, make a little collage and take it into your hairdresser. I think getting your hair to a way that you like will help you a lot with your self-confidence and help you feel happier :)   If you feel uncomfortable completely stopping doing things that are "girly" (like wearing dresses or makeup), you don't have to! Wear the amount of makeup that you feel comfortable wearing, and dress in the style that you feel the most confident in. Don't worry about whether they are too feminine or not. If you do, you'll just stress yourself out more and feel more depressed, and no one wants that :(   Let me know what you think! xx ... View more

Hi @SunnyC!   It's great that you have shared your confusion about your gender identity on here with us, instead of just keeping it inside. Often opening up and trying to express how you feel can be very difficult to do in a way that feels right, so please don't feel like you are being a spastic! You most certainly aren't!    How are you dressing currently? Is it in a way that you feel like you are expected to dress? Would there be any consequences if you were to dress in a more masculine way?   If you feel comfortable doing so, it may be helpful to go back to the person you said you wanted to be a boy to, they might remember your demeanour when you said it.    The most important thing is to keep talking about your confusion about your gender identity with other people, to help you figure what specific issues you are having trouble with, and finding solutions to help you feel better. Feel free to explore the resources in @cupcakes_032 's reply, then let us know what you think/ would like to discuss :)     ... View more

I used to do the same things as you to prepare for my study sessions in undergrad! It's great to see that you are taking initiative and doing things to help you expand and apply your knowledge. It should be looked upon very favourably to the admissions officers :) Best of luck!  ... View more