@StormySeas17  @Taylor-RO  Hey thanks! Things around that topic are doing just fine now, which is good, it feels I've had ten tonne taken off my chest and I've already noticed a really positive difference in my general mood. Of course there are other things in life to be worked on, but I now feel so much more free to focus on those things a little more. I thin mum really trying to be fully understanding of the whole thing, and so far her apparent disappointment hasn't shown through since our conversation, I mean it's only been a couple of days but so far so good.   Thank you both and everyone else whose been so supportive and helpful with your stories and advice, this has helped me so much to wrap my head around the idea that this could go well.   How are you guys going with your situations?  ... View more

My mum actually got all weird and suspicious on me today and asked me if there's more than just a friendship between this girl and I. I tried to lie and then she gave 'the look', the im-not-stupid-look and I caved and said I didn't know how to tell her, i thought she'd be mad, i thought she'd be weird about it. she said she's dissapointed because she grew up in a different time and hasn't ever had to adapt to this kind of thing for any reason (as in, no one in my family is out as 'not straight' except my cousin who no one ever sees anyway) Mum asked me if I'm gay, I said no (my evidence for this because mum needed convincing, is that I was in a relationship with a guy for nearly 4 years), I didn't specifically say I'm Bi, but we'll get there one day. She asked me if I'm confused or if I'm just trying to work myself out. I told her I'm happy, that this person makes me happy, that I like spending time with her and that this is me working out who I am, I'm in the middle of it. Afterwards, mum told me she loves me and that she wishes I could tell her anything, but that she understands why it was uncomfortable.   I am a little dissapointed that I didn't get to say it on my terms, in my time, but overall it's a weight lifted to know it's been said, and I can stop being so weird about it when her name comes up in conversation or when I spend time with her. Next thing to do is mention that mum knows now, but I think everything will be fine <3 ... View more

Thank you! <3 ... View more

hey @Anzelmo  Thank you so much for your really nice reply   I haven't told my parents yet, but the kind thoughts and ideas from the people on this sight have helped me to realise that I don't have to, there's no pressure.   It can, at times, make it difficult because I moved back in with my parents last year, meaning that they can easily work out who im spending my time with, but I think for now they can spend a bit of time in the dark with this topic.   I am really enjoying my time with my girlfriend and I'm not going to let people's opinions and superstitions get in the way of that.   so thank you  ... View more

@letsheal  you know I think you make a good point, I think it would definitely be beneficial to actually think about why I feel the need to please everyone, or at least not disappoint.   I know it is completely impossible for anyone to keep everyone happy, and I know that they should just be happy with who we all are because who we all are could be a lot worse, and I definitely don't want my whole life to revolve around other people's views of me.    I think my dad would be a bit like yours, very set in his ways, but I gladly also feel hardly any pressure to tell him about my life. I also live with my parents, though I have lived away from home before. So it seems mum the only real obstacle for me here.   You've given me some things to think so thank you very much for that. Can I ask how long ago it was that you told your family? and has your families thoughtson the matter changed over time?   ... View more

@WheresMySquishy  @StormySeas17  @Lost_Space_Explorer5  Thank you guys for responding!   in answering the popular question, I have been thinking lately (probably way too much) about how my family would react based on their past comments about sexuality. I know that my mum knows what 'gay' and 'lesbian' means but past that I don't think she knows/understands much about sexuality.   I know she doesn't believe that there are anywhere near as many genders as there actually is and these are conversations i have most often tried to avoid in the past because it ends in argument about whats real and whats not. I have tried to explain to her that my view is, if you feel you fit a certain gender/sexuality you should have the freedom to identify as it openly.   as for my dad, I have no clue, I know he doesn't like my lesbian cousin but I think that's just coincidental seeing as she's also a very odd person in general (I know that's mean, sorry). My dad doesn't really talk about deeper things very often  and I feel like his side of things could go one of two ways: 1. He says nothing and quietly accepts it or 2. He gets angry and actually reacts worse than I'm preparing for my mum to react.   It's very uplifting to hear other people's stories, even when it was an overall negative experience it's nice to know that the situation can heal, that there's hope for the future and that people's families can at the very least just not bring it up. People don't have to be happy about it in my opinion, they just gotta accept that that is what this person wants, that that is a part of them that can not and will not be changed for anybody.  ... View more

@Tay100  Hey! Glad you related, I think it's super important to have things about yourself that you like for you! I really like grunge so when I'm choosing clothes I go for black or ripped jeans, band tees and baggy shirts on top, but as for my decor at home... I have pink walls, teddies on my bed and plants everywhere :D and I really like typical kawaii styles, so its an odd mix, but I like it. :) ... View more

Thank you for your response, it means a lot. I'd love to tell my mum, i think that she could maybe even push her disappointment down eventually but I don't know how she would take it at the time or if she'd ever really be okay with it, also I have no clue how I would tell her (or my dad for that matter) that I'm Bi. I think I sorta shut down around the topic of homosexuality around my family because i understand it differently to them, most of the younger generation does we've been exposed to it differently than our parents and grandparents, but also because I hate disappointing people and that word has already been used in relation to the possibility of me not being straight. It is my goal currently, to feel more comfortable with the idea that I am not exactly what my parents wanted. I think that would help me to not only tell them but also better accept their reactions. ... View more

I've been trying to think of qualities that are positive for me, that don't feel like they exist purely to serve or help others (though that is still important to me), so here we go:   1. I am open-minded about learning about myself, about talking about my issues and about other people's issues as well. 2. I am growing as person constantly, and although it sometimes feels like steps backwards, I know it's happening. 3. I am happy with my overall style and thinks it suits my personality ... View more

I'll bet there is, there's something to like about everyone. Maybe you just need to ask someone to find out what's unique to you but if you can't or until you do how about this: Maybe you have soft hair, or beautifully coloured eyes, maybe you look out for your friends or maybe you smell nice, maybe you would give your change to the homeless or perhaps, you would give a strong brave friend a pat on the back idk just a thought ... View more

Hi there, like everyone else said thanks for your post. I'm gonna be honest rn, I nearly cried reading that, it's nice to hear about people who not only know and understand but who are willing to listen.   I've recently gotten myself into a situation, what I think could be the beginning of a relationship, which is causing me some anxiety. I'm happy with the situation more or less, but my family don't know that I'm Bi. So maybe this is the wrong section to write about this, but aside from telling people or anything, i need to work on keeping my anxiety down about it, it's getting in the way.   i was talking to my doctor about anxiety and sleep problems and her response was to tell me in a sarcastic tone that anxiety as a condition is characterised by an "actual change in a person's behaviour" and she made sure to point out to me that "maybe this is just how I am". But I know that there is something wrong because I can feel fine for days with only minor worries but then as soon as something about being gay or bi or anything other than straight comes on tv or in a song or conversation, I just shut down. and I don't just worry about what they'd think if they knew, I worry that they'll lie to make me feel better but actually they'll change towards me or something.   I am not ashamed of being Bi and I like the person I'm with atm, whether I could really call it an official relationship or not, but mum has already made it clear to me that dad wouldn't like it, my grandparents would hate and that she would be dissapointed.   please disregard if this is the wrong space for something like this, but thanks for reading anyways. ... View more